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Thread: Is that all there is?

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Posts
    2,744

    Is that all there is?

    I sit in my bedroom at night on here reading the posts on the forum, writing thoughts that I think might help whilst waiting for peace so that I can get to bed and sleep but more often than not its not until gone 6am before I know I won't be woken up.

    I look around the walls and see the spiders in the corners (I know I should dust more!) but they are my company. They seem quite content to sit there watching me while I watch them and then I start thinking...is that all there is?

    I eventually get to bed when others are getting up. I'm having breakfast when others are having lunch. I'm having dinner when others are going to bed! And I think to myself....is that all there is?

    When I eventually can be bothered to get up, I wash, I dress, I go downstairs and see to the dog and I sit alone waiting in silence for hassle to begin and then I start thinking.....is that all there is?

    Then I might potter about trying to find some sanctuary alone or go out and see my mother for company or go to town to talk to strangers working in shops and then I go home again to be alone with more hassle and then I start thinking....is that all there is?

    And then I will probably cook and do all the washing up that's been left and fall asleep in front of the tv because I can't get any sleep at night and when I wake I think to myself....is that all there is?

    And when I do get to bed and I'm laying there alone staring at the ceiling whilst listening to a friendly voice on the radio for company, I start thinking....is that all there is?

    And then I might dream, happy dreams or nightmares, and wake to roaring silence of my room that surrounds me with only distant snores that remind me that the day might be as my night was and then I think...is that all there is?

    Then I start thinking of the future that will be the same as today but probably even more alone with only my spiders in my room to talk to with only distant snores and I think to myself, what am I doing, where am I going, will I always feel alone, will I ever find lasting purpose in living and then I think of the answers that fly back me and i start thinking if life will always be as it is....is that all there is to my life? And the only answer I find every day wherever I look is...Yes, because I can't find anything to make me feel alive because I can't feel anything inside.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0X1DDMmJbgI

    And as the sun sets on a life that should have done much more....

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ei3zSSXKigc

    Last edited by Bill; 17-11-09 at 06:14.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Posts
    521

    Re: Is that all there is?

    Hi Bill

    No that isn't all there is there is much more to life and you well know it otherwise you would not be reaching out for it.

    Be kind to yourself Bill, you have helped so many on here and now you have hit a low point...so we are here for you.

    Sweep away the cobwebs.... open your window so that you can share the noises of outside... I'm sorry that I've not been in touch but sometimes I try and I cannot keep myself awake but that doesn't mean that I don't think of you... its means my meds are finally working lol.

    Find something to fill that time you have get a hobby or join a club... no matter what it is there will be like minded people sharing the same interest.. Have you looked into the Adult Education Centres, take up a new interest... they have morning, afternoon and evening classes so there must be something!

    Please find Bill I know you have a hard time of it and have to take care of others but you also need to take care of yourself...

    Hugs sent
    __________________
    Sharon

  3. #3
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Posts
    2,228

    Re: Is that all there is?

    i agree dont just wonder whats out there join life again god bless

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