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Thread: My Journal.

  1. #11
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    Mar 2014
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    Re: My Journal.

    I think something must have gone wrong at their end because I would imagine they would at least contact you back. This happened to people in the group I attended and the coordinators would chase it up for them. It might be best giving them a call. Is that possible? Sometimes they didn't even advertise the group coordinators outside of the groups which I suspect was due to lack of manpower to keep the website updated.

    To be honest, their website isn't that good. I suspect its been created by someone who isn't a pro and it often gets out of date.

    Here are the links to their courses:

    http://www.changes.org.uk/html/wellbeing_workshops.html

    http://www.changes.org.uk/html/recovery.html

    http://www.changes.org.uk/html/wellness_programme.html

    http://www.changes.org.uk/html/phyiscal_wellbeing.html


    They seem to have branched out a but since last year because they are now running physical wellbeing and even a Mindfulness starter!

    Last time there were things not even on the website such as specific groups for the armed forces, carers and people over certain ages.

    Behavioural Activation, basically "do more stuff" is very important for depression and self esteem. It can be a distraction or a way of regaining some of your power back so you feel more in control of yours lives.

    Don't let the neighbour bother you. Sleep on it, keep moving forward.

  2. #12
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    Mar 2014
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    779

    Re: My Journal.

    Thanks, good advice as ever. I will give them a call tomorrow then and see it I can make sense of it all.
    I was worried I'd bothered them or something but although I was sure that was the anxiety talking it was enough to put me off trying to contact them again. silly, I just got a new phone on a great deal, it was one of my things to do so I had more independence and open doors. Will give me a good chance to try it out!
    __________________
    Raised by wolves and other beasts.

  3. #13
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    Re: My Journal.

    Yeah, attach a goal to it, just micro goals and things will get done.

    I know what you mean. My job was the reason for my 2 breakdowns and it was all phones, email, workshops, meetings, presentations, etc and I found it hard just to use the phone or even email & the internet when I was at my worst because of the anxiety it had brought me at work.

    Just remember that with Changes, they are all either current sufferers of anxiety/depression or recovered sufferers. They really will understand.

    They used to advertise for people to help them with admin at their office and that was all in the weekly meetings where everyone was a current anxiety/depression sufferer. Those that were volunteering where doing it for the same reasons you are, to move forwards and rebuild their confidence.

    You wouldn't have bothered them, thats the anxiety again and how it likes to sap our confidence. Of the ones I met, which was mostly the meeting coordinators, the were all good & understanding people since they had been there themselves.

  4. #14
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    Re: My Journal.

    I feel very shy when talking to people who know I have mental health issues but I don't feel awkward when I'm talking to people who have been there too. There's a level of communication you can achieve with them you just wouldn't get from someone who'd never experienced it. I'm incredibly nervous about going but quite determined to see it through. I've decided to go on my own as well.
    __________________
    Raised by wolves and other beasts.

  5. #15
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    Re: My Journal.

    I understand, you never know what people are thinking. I remember that before I suffered anxiety, I was rather critical of the other managers going of with stress when their workloads weren't even as much as mine, but when this started I very quickly realised that everyone has their limit and once you hit it, you can end up like this. So, I'm non judgemental now and listen more.

    It's also a hard issue to understand. Everyone feels down from time to time, but thats like comparing a headache to a head being hit by a car! Everyone gets anxious, but thats nothing compared to anxiety disorders. I tend to say "If someone grabbed you from behind in the dark and put a knife to your throat, how would you feel? Well thats me brushing my teeth".

    The first time I attended the groups, I was nervous about it but some of them said hello, nodded, smiled, etc and then at the tea break a few came over for a chat...because they alll went through joining themselves and remembered how they felt. I thought that was really good.

    It's just like on here, people take time out of their lives to talk and help. Everyone knows how it feels in one way or another, so it's a level playing field.

  6. #16
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    Re: My Journal.

    Ha yeah, I used often talk to my friends figuratively when explaining anything to do with my mentality. I often say it's like waking up from a bad nightmare and trying to convince yourself its safe to get out of bed and get a drink, you KNOW you're safe and it was just a dream but you feel scared anyway.

    That's good to know, though I probably won't speak to anyone for the first week at least.
    I'm really glad you told be about it, without knowing someone who had been through it I'd never have had the courage to go.
    __________________
    Raised by wolves and other beasts.

  7. #17
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    Re: My Journal.

    I had CBT first and my therapist recommended joining to help with the isolation and I'm glad I did. I didn't go on the social events as some did but I always spoke to members when I saw them outside of there or would have a good chat with them.

    If I had gone earlier before my CBT, I would have been far more anxious about it though.

    The format of the walk in meetings is:

    1) Round of names.
    2) Coordinators go through the purpose & rules.
    3) Announcements & newsletter.
    4) Open the floor for members to discuss their problems, if they want to.
    5) Break.
    6) Re-open the floor, but they should also do a module but time doesn't always allow for it.

    The module is just a CBT based worksheet and they like to ask people to read a paragraph but if you don't feel you can, they will understand. Someone usually volunteers, knowing the less confident attendees may be anxious, or a coordinator will start. People keep volunteering or it may go around the circle. Don't worry about this, there is no pressure.

    They then ask if members want to discuss the module which often means they talk about how they see themselves in it and whether it has helped them in some way or could do, etc.

    Some members don't do much talking or talk at all the first session or sessions. Everyone understands, they've all been through it.

    Members may appraoch others but its all to help them feel welcome. If its not easy to do it, they will understand and people often go out of the room for a smoke anyone during the break.

    When you first go, they ask you to fill a couple of forms in. Some of this is to understand how you are feeling, like the ones the therapists use e.g. GAD-7 scale. They ask for these every now and then anyway so they can see what people may need as they offer loads of courses through the year.

    You can become a full member and pay a small fee per month, or not. I opted not to until I new more about them. There was no pressure and no one ever asked me in going weekly for a year if I would contribute financially. They understand a lot of members may be unemployed or struggling financially, its often part of the whole anxiety issue.

    Ask any questions you want to and I'll answer them. I haven't been since last year due to my own circumstances but I intend to go back at some point. I don't feel I need it thesedays as much as I've moved on.

    I thought it was a shame they didn't have their own forum to be honest because a lot of members make friends there.

  8. #18
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    Mar 2014
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    Re: My Journal.

    Thanks Terry, it's very very very reassuring to know what to expect, I find if I am "mentally prepared" I deal with things with considerably less anxiety before hand.

    In the last few weeks I've not really kept track of how I'm dealing with my anxiety or this Journal but I'm going away tomorrow so I'll leave an update now. I definetly haven't made enough time for therapy the past few weeks so that's what I'm going to aim to focus on next week.

    But I did:
    - call the place I volunteer after a few random weeks away and start working there again which has been lovely! I really love it there and they really love me so it's been a huge confidence boost. I was incredibly nervous about calling them but it was beyond worth it!
    - Go out alone more, to the local shop and all the way to town.
    - Made an effort to eat healthier and do more/semi successful lol.
    - Got back in the garden after the neighbour drama.
    - Was more assertive at home and expressed myself more.
    - Applied to uni (but due to paper work mishap on THEIR end I didn't get my application in on time).
    - Booked train tickets home.

    I still really need to call my Dr for an appointment, apply to the open uni, register at a dentist, plan my meals in advance/organise my shopping, eat healthier, cook more, bike more, do more with my boyfriend and learn spannish!

    Tomorrow I'm going to see my mum for the first time since christmas. I don't really like going back to the town I grew up in awkward history galore but I know the place well and it's where I grew up, so and I can't wait to see friends and family.
    I'm going for 4 days and it will be the first time me and my boyfriend are apart for this long since we became a couple, which is making me pretty nervous. At first I felt like if we were apart something terrible would happen, so I knew it was the anxiety right away! We always eat together and chat about things throughout the day but I've been trying to get us to do more together - but like a lot of things it gets forgotten about and we end up in ruts. The main reason for me being more assertive is to combat this, my boyfriend can be very distant and I think he forgets that that makes his depression worse and that being more open with me and making time for fun is good for both of us.
    With than in mind being apart will probably be good for us. There are times when I've felt a little taken for granted so I'm hoping absense will make the heart grow appreciative haha. I've been trying to focus on that and seeing my mum to get me through it.

    I'll be making the journey back on my own so that's also a little daunting, I've got quite a few trains to catch and I have to go through 2 city centres alone but I know I can do it.
    I just hope I do it without any big stresses. I haven't left yet and already I can't wait to be back!

    ---------- Post added at 20:43 ---------- Previous post was at 20:41 ----------

    Oh and I worked in the front of the shop for the first time too

    ---------- Post added at 21:22 ---------- Previous post was at 20:43 ----------

    Oh although other bad things that happened : I had my first panic for a long time attack due to the neighbour drama - I used calming techniques and after a bit of a cry (ok a BIG cry), a bit of a freak out and some re-assurance I was OK.

    and I've felt tense over a health issue, and I did google but I didn't find anything that freaked me out (or was helpful ). I didn't panic at all so that's good.
    __________________
    Raised by wolves and other beasts.

  9. #19
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    27,320

    Re: My Journal.

    You've got loads done and loads left to work at. Its all good progress and the more you get through it, the more you can look back and see how well you are doing.

    Get through the next 4 days and see how you felt and whether it has meaning against the other goals. The dentist one is one of your biggies so perhaps keep chipping away at the others until you feel confident enough for it.

    Oh, and when you go to Changes, don't worry about crying or showing emotion. There were people, including men, who cried during their talks. Its just a release of something that is overwhelming and no one is going to think bad of you or judge, they wouldn't be sitting in one of those groups otherwise!

    If its any help, Changes periodically run assertiveness courses but they weren't well advertised so ask at a meeting. They always have a table full of leaflets of their courses and various social events as well but the coordinators take issues back to the head office or chase up things for members.

  10. #20
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    Re: My Journal.

    Haha how ironic! I'll ask about that when I'm there thanks! Yeah I really need help being more assertive.
    __________________
    Raised by wolves and other beasts.

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