Hello everyone.
After spending a few months away I am so glad to be back with a positive update. For the first time in over a year, I feel like 'me' again.
This time last year I was a mess, the lowest of the low. I couldn't go out the house most days, I sat and cried as I watched people go about their day without a care in the world, wishing I was one of them. And now (just about) I am one of them people. If somebody last year told me this time next year you would have near enough beat HA I would not have believed them at all.
I thought this was here for a life. It is such a horribly difficult mindset to get out of , once it's there it eats into every aspect of your life. It has been the most difficult time for me, I just cannot believe I am here on the other side.
For people who do not know me, you can read my old posts and see what an amazing thing it is for me to be typing this post.
For anyone who doesn't think they can beat this, you can. You can and you can! The most difficult part is kick starting recovery. It is so easy to have a few good days and realise that the symptoms are there, nothing has changed and it never will so sod it. I did that so many times. You need to stick at it. Have a change in mental attitude (this is so difficult I know) but you need to put a lot of will and effort into it, unfortunately it won't work otherwise.
There is no quick recovery, simple solution it is a hard slog but so worth it to just be back happy, enjoying my life and my family.
I've found distraction the main help really. I would start in small steps, I'd watch a TV programme and say I won't think about my health for 30 mins whilst I watched this programme. And then I could go an hour without thinking about my health. Eventually this turned into afternoons, days, weeks and now I'm on at least a couple of months without a major health meltdown.
Counteract every irrational thought with a rational one. STOP GOOGLING. I cannot emphasize this enough. It doesn't help it doesn't work and it is hardly ever right. Google cannot see you, cannot examine you and simply cannot diagnose you.
And lastly , use this site for support not reassurance. It is a wonderful wonderful place, I know that wihtout having somewhere to sound off where people understand what I'm going through , I would never have been able to do this. However, seeking reassurance through only serves as a replacement google. It works short term, until you begin yet another reassurance seeking cycle.
I could go on forever, but what I did want to say is thankyou so so much to all the lovely people who offered me support and advice when I needed it the most. I could not have done it without you (Fishmana, Katie, CPE, Nicola just to name a few). Thank you all once again x
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