This is too much.

[Lyrica]

I wish I had one thing in my life to keep me going. I have just finished my degree. It caused me anxiety and so much stress but it was a reason to keep going. To get out of bed. I had deadlines and essays to write, exams to prepare for.

I have stopped talking to my friends and they have stopped asking how I am. They are in in good jobs, with good homes and happy relationships. They don't need someone like me dragging them down. I don't want the pity either.

I have stopped talking to my family. My being depressed upsets them to much and I haven't the energy to look after their feelings.

I can't afford my rent so will soon lose my flat and my partner has left me.

I have lost everything. I have no uni, my friends are gone, my family is gone, my partner is gone and I am going to lose my home. I don't even have my health because my mind doesn't even seem like my own. I'm terrified. What is going to happen to me?

I don't want pity. I don't want sympathy. I want something to keep me going. Can you guys tell me what gets you out of bed in the morning? What gives you the strength to keep going through the pain.

[Rad1]

It’s so hard especially in the morning. But I make myself, then I do breathing exercises and try to get calm and energized. I make myself eat healthy breakfast like porridge with fruit and banana. I feel better after that. I try and walk a bit a breath fresh air. It’s really hard. Keep going and look for help from your doctor.

[Laura123]

Ok no pity but just a hug, sometimes we just need a hug. I get what you are saying about losing touch with friends and keeping family at a distance however, we all need people in our life, we need support, it sounds to me like you desperately need support and that’s where your family come in. I’m sure if you reach out they will help you and not out of pity, out of love, it’s ok to need support. I think you are way too hard on yourself. X

[Greycylinder]

Hi. I am much older than you but I feel so much empathy for you. I understand that you don't want pity and I know how you feel. I seem to have lost myself in the past few years. I had a good job, a family, a lovely house and lots of friends. I have had to leave my job due to depression and anxiety and my marriage is under enormous strain which has nearly lead to the divorce courts. My son is very anxious and depressed and unmotivated which causes arguments because he smokes weed and it makes him worse. It's like living in a pressure cooker and getting out of bed in the morning is sometimes almost impossible. But lying there feeling hot and terrified is worse. My legs hurt with anxiety and I shake and cry. I get shouted at for crying so then I try to hide it.

I don't know what to say to give you something to hang onto. I am hanging by a thread but I know if I weren't around anymore lots of people would be upset and sad and guilty and I don't want to tarnish anyone else's life by this horrible illness. I work one afternoon n a charity shop. I never want to go and sometimes all I can do is steam and sort the clothes but it always helps me just a tiny bit to get out of the house and to speak to other people. I am there this afternoon and my head is screaming not to go but I will force myself - even if I end up in the back room crying. It helps animals (RSPCA) and it helps me. It also helps some of our customers who can't afford new things. I contribute a tiny bit to society. It's a start and I hope I can build on it if I ever get better.


I am also sending you a cyber hug. People on here understand more than our own families. Much love to you. xxx

[AnxiousAmi]

I feel like what pushes me to get out of bed is to show my depression and anxiety that I can be better than what it makes me feel.
I am determined to not let it define me.
I want to prove to myself that I can overcome these things and search for at least a small happiness through the dark, even when I fell my worst.
I also want to prove to everyone in my family that I could overcome the obstacles in my life when they said i couldn't.
And I have made an agreement with myself that if I fail at times, and nothing seems to be working out, that I can say that at least I tried my best and that I could continue forward to try something new.

I hope the very best for you.
Believe me, I've been in a situation similar to yours.
You will have your dark days and immense struggles, but there will be brighter days ahead.
And when things get better, you can look back and see how strong you've become and say that you've been through hell and survived.