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Thread: The nature of my attacks are changing

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jan 2017
    Posts
    138

    Red face The nature of my attacks are changing

    Hello,

    I have always had underlying anxiety that I have managed for the most part. However in the past few months in the lead up to a 2+ month trip around South America, I had my first panic attack. There was a clear beginning, climax and come down and I experienced typical symptoms as per the NHS website: intense trembling, the world was spinning, feeling like throwing up, intense fear, feeling like I was losing my mind. it was so intense but then over so quickly (20 mins) that after it ended it was easy to define it as a panic attack.

    I am now on my trip in South America and am having bursts of attacks, however they are becoming much harder to recognise as they start so slowly and sometimes don't build into a full panic. The physical symptoms are much less intense than what they used to be, sometimes there are none at all, but the emotional symptoms are much more crippling. Tonight I went from the nice neighbourhood we are staying in to dinner in another one across town, which made me very uncomfortable as it looked really dodgy so i decided I wanted to go back home. In the cab home I began to feel waves of intense depression and fear, about how isolated I felt and I wondered how I would cope it anything ever goes wrong in my life. I always call my mum when I am worried, but what happens when she is no longer around? If I can't even handle panic when everything in my life is stable, how on earth will I cope when genuine things go wrong (as opposed to me just worrying about things that could possibly go wrong). I got back to our hotel and for the next hour I was plagued with feelings of being trapped and feeling like I would never feel normal again. I felt no physical symptoms at all. It went away after another hour (I took 2.5mg of Valium also) and I feel okay again now.

    Anyway sorry for the long post but I was wondering if anyone else can relate to their attacks changing in nature in this way? Is that normal? I wondered whether I am developing a different disorder or if this is all part of panic.

    Thank you for your time
    Last edited by Citydeer; 10-01-17 at 05:20.

  2. #2

    Unhappy Re: The nature of my attacks are changing

    Hello, My panics have also changed over time. Back in the 90's my panic was a result of not enough rest and too much partying. I didn't even know what they were back then. They went away and came back in 2002 - at which time I was more stable and taking better care of myself. These attacks came between 12:30 am - 1:00 am. Almost every night for 3 months. I would awaken with a sense of doom, heart beating fast, felt like I couldn't breathe, numbness in my arms. I would call my mom or husband (I work as a live-in caregiver) they would help to calm me down. These attacks would last up to an hour. I went on a medication Zoloft and it helped me a great deal over time. I stayed on the med for over a year. I was panic free for some time. After stopping the medication I would have panic attacks occasionally usually at night. Then one day back in 2010 or so I had a day time one. Recently I have had night time panic again only now it's not so severe with the heart racing but it's like a build up happening and I feel so anxious and scared. Like I'm about to have a full blown attack. The feelings linger and my chest feels funny - many times I'll have to use the bathroom as my stomach feels nervous. I have a tingling sensation in my arms or shoulders. My thoughts are running away. I start to think there is something else wrong with me. I feel weakness and sometimes I am so tired. Then I'll be fine later. At night I can have one attack then sleep and wake with another panic attack. This morning I feel that way. I am trying to exercise and meditate as a way to help myself. I am also trying to eat healthier and lose weight. I know I'm not alone in this and that brings some comfort. I hope to be panic free one day.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Posts
    100

    Re: The nature of my attacks are changing

    Citydeer,

    I can absolutely relate! I had anxiety and stress (and a few panic attacks) the past 10 years or so of my life. But this past summer, as I was gearing up for a big family trip, I had a massive panic attack that was characteristically different than what I had experienced/gotten through before.
    That was a big turning point in some unraveling for me and during the trip I had a few bad moments of intense fear/panic. And much like you, there was otherwise so much good in my life. I mean I was on a vacation I had saved for and planned with the people I love.
    Once back it took some time to return to a sense of normalcy/stasis and truthfully I am in a bad rut again.

    I know that is not of much solace, but I just wanted to say, I have been there. And when anxiety changes it is so hard to get a handle on it. Or even to believe it's anxiety.

    I too, fear the time where I might have to do things alone.
    My mother has been a huge support to me during some of my intense periods.

    Try and remind yourself all the reasons you are safe. Physically and emotionally.

    I am trying to expand my list of tools that are not just the presence of others. Guided meditation, playing a game on the computer, colouring, taking a bath, having something small and nutritious to eat.

    -Dora

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jan 2017
    Posts
    138

    Re: The nature of my attacks are changing

    Thanks for your responses Kathleen and Dora. It's interesting to hear that you have both have had attacks that have changed over time too. It's frustrating especially when (as you say Dora) you're in a situation that should make you happy. Sometimes I wonder whether we put too much pressure on ourselves and expectations onto things happening in our lives that we are looking forward to or working towards, that the reality of when we finally get there can feel quite different from what we expected. I was in my final semester of uni just before I went on holiday and I was so anxious for months and I thought as soon as I left for the holiday i would become this chilled out relaxed person. Instead I was left with all this residual anxiety! It's made me consider that we should always try to treat anxiety in the moment rather than imagining it will go away when our life circumstances change.

    I think it's great that you're both trying new activities and methods to manage yor anxiety. Dora, I love taking baths too, especially with some drops of a essential oil to help relax. Doing guided meditation in the bath is great too! Kathleen, with what you mentioned about your attacks happening in the middle of the night, if you haven't already it could help to develop a strict bedtime ritual every night to help you unwind. No technology in the hour before bed, maybe a cup of a sleep inducing herbal tea blend, and doing your meditation right before sleep. Or simply any other ritual that helps you wind down in the hours before bed.

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