agoraphobia, do we really try ?

[mistymoo]

Hi, Ive had agoraphobia for four years now, during this period I had a support worker who visited every week and I was doing reasonably well until I started having panic attacks at the thought of him calling so I gave up the support.
Since June last year I havent ventured any further than my local area , always with my partner, either walking the dogs or cycling.
I cant get to the dr's even though my asthma is really bad and has been for many months, the dr's is only a mile away. I'm worried that there is something seriously wrong but I still wont go.
I'm struggling to do my sewing which I enjoy, because I'm struggling to see what I'm doing, my eyes need testing and I cant or wont go to the opticians.
I dont think I push myself enough, but thats the whole point of agoraphobia, the avoidance.
Do any other agoraphobics just resign themselves to the fact that they will always be like this. Its such a demoralising illness, that Is in a way self inflicted, I have let this get a grip on me, sorry for the moan, just wondered if anyone else felt the same, thanks Ang

[MrRedShirt]

Hello mistymoo,

Just wanted to post a reply to let you know you're not alone.
My situation has gradually involved more agoraphobia lately - I nearly said 'I've let myself become more agoraphobic', but I'm not sure blaming myself like that is helpful.. although it's easy to see it like that, and label ourselves 'failures'.. Which of course we're not, we wouldn't dream of inviting this condition in.

Be kind to yourself, and don't be afraid to ask for help.

[kittikat]

Hi mistymoo, my agoraphobia gradually crept up on me after suffering panic attacks about 6 yrs ago. I believe I was in denial for a few years, but noticed myself getting more and more anxious the further away I went from home. I started avoiding places and social situations and my world just got smaller and smaller. I eventually had a breakdown in November and finally admitted that I had a rather serious problem going on. I am so much better if I have a trusted companion with me but on my own I can barely manage a couple of miles radius....even then its such a struggle to get out the door in the first place. And shops are a no go if I am alone, you know the sort of thing.

Can you get someone to go with you to sort out the things you need to? I know it's awful having to rely on others all the time and I am so aware that our minds just won't allow us to do certain things. But you are right, it is the avoidance that feeds the agoraphobia and I have recently started CBT in the hope that I will be able to at least push the boundaries a little at a time. I feel completley the same as you, so you are certainly not alone. Maybe if you can get to the doctors, you could have a chat with them about having some therapy as It's not always so easy to change your mindset and irrational thought patterns alone. I am feeling quite optimistic since starting therapy but I don't expect to be cured overnight, It's something I know I will have to work very hard at.

Take care,
Kitti x

[mistymoo]

Hi, thanks for the replies, Ive had CBT and although at the time it helped, I soon forgot the things I was tought. I never go anywhere alone, my fella is always with me, I just cant seem to take the plunge and go for these well overdue check ups, its the traffic that worries me the most as I have to go on a three lane carriageway to get to the dr's and the opticians and my fear is being stuck in traffic.

[tt2012]

Hi, thanks for the replies, Ive had CBT and although at the time it helped, I soon forgot the things I was tought. I never go anywhere alone, my fella is always with me, I just cant seem to take the plunge and go for these well overdue check ups, its the traffic that worries me the most as I have to go on a three lane carriageway to get to the dr's and the opticians and my fear is being stuck in traffic.

=/ I hate that feeling as well, stuck in traffic. Gotta train your brain to relax and say "so what?" But yeah easier said than done right? I completely understand you, Misty.

[grace17]

Hello Mistymoo. I have agorophobia too and feel scared about being out the house so i completely understand where your coming from as i have days where i cannot go outside. Yeah my advice would be to find ways that help you like going out at different times when its quiet as i find that more relaxing. Hope you get on well and good luck. xxx

[Rennie1989]

Mine at the moment is me going 'I'll do it tomorrow.... I'll do it tomorrow.....' but I will go out tonight as my boyfriend is leaving his job tonight and starting a new job. Also I have to travel tomorrow for an investigatory meeting which is making me feel, at the very least, terrified! Hopefully, if I can get through Monday I can finally put a foot down on this.

[emu12]

Sometimes I feel I dont try hard enough to accomplish big things, but the little accomplishments I do give me some satisfaction too. I try not to think that Im always going to be like that and just take each day as it comes.

[little wren]

Hi mistymoo

Each time you push yourself to go out it is supposed to get easier in the longrun...I suppose it does but it is such a hard path to tread. It is such hard work putting yourself through that level of anxiety just to go out. It seems exposure (like with any phobia) to going out is the only thing that will help. I just keep thinking well what is the alternative. My progress is not great but even little gains of pushing back the boundaries give me hope x

Bottleblond loved your post...It is truly inspiring x

[mistymoo]

Hi all, thankyou for taking the time to reply, after reading your replies I feel there is hope that things will improve, infact I walked around the block the other day and it had been a huge bug bear for four years but I finally manged it and it wasnt as bad as I thought, I still havent been to the opticians or dr's but I will get there eventually, maybe with a white stick LOL