Citalopram Withdrawal, worst anxiety of my life.

[Suziewuzie]

Nooo problem buddy! You are helping me a lot too as I can relate to so much of what you're feeling, it makes me feel much better knowing it's not just me & there must be lots of people out there who experience this too.
I've had a pretty naff day with a very heavy head & recurrent feelings of "something is wrong"
I went to see my friends after work & felt so uncomfortable around them and then drove home in a complete daze. Had a good few hours of feeling great today though so I can't grumble too much!

[LiveAboveIt]

Nooo problem buddy! You are helping me a lot too as I can relate to so much of what you're feeling, it makes me feel much better knowing it's not just me & there must be lots of people out there who experience this too.
I've had a pretty naff day with a very heavy head & recurrent feelings of "something is wrong"
I went to see my friends after work & felt so uncomfortable around them and then drove home in a complete daze. Had a good few hours of feeling great today though so I can't grumble too much!

Ive had exactly the same day. Just really strong feelings of fear for no reason which causes me to focus on it all day and worry. Im not doing so great at positive self talk today because Im so concerned about this never going away. Read too many stories about protracted withdrawals that last years.

---------- Post added at 18:30 ---------- Previous post was at 18:27 ----------

The lack of reality you are feeling is classic SSRI withdrawal. I had it with Sertraline last summer. It almost hit me hardest at different points in the day. I could be fine for a few hours and then my vision would start getting blurry and i'd feel spaced out, unreal and scared. It was worse if i was in crowds. I had never felt like that before in all my life.

Your nerves have become sensitised by the drugs. No more no less, although i know how horriblw it is. However, you aren't losing the plot. Always remember that when you feel bad. The fact you are experiencing better half-days where you almost feel normal proves you are recovering. This is a a great sign! Full recovery won't happen overnight but will continue to happen just as you are now experiencing it. Two steps forward, one step back until it becomes nothing but a mild nuisance and then vanishes all together.

Stay strong and try to avoid the SSRI's until you feel a lot lot better or they may set you off feeling bad again.

Best of luck, and remember it will pass and is already starting to improve!!

Did you have anxiety issues during withdrawals? Do you remember how long they lasted for you?

[LiveAboveIt]

I hate nights like these. Began feeling very disconnected and the anxiety increased for no reason which causes my thoughts to become frightening. It feels like my thoughts actually create even more panic and I cant seem to stop them. Everything feels so damn artificial. This anxiety feels a lot like the random anxiety that you get from starting the pills.. But way more intense, it goes beyond just physical symptoms, its completely affecting the way I think and even regardless of being aware of it, the thoughts still come and are terrifying. It feels like no anount of rationality helps, once I get stuck I just worry that Im stuck like this forever and that the meds have finally permanently broke something in my brain. Even though I know how untrue this probably is, but the negative scary thoughts are so automatic and feel much more believable.. The anxiety doesnt even have a buildup, the withdrawals just seem to bring it on quickly and it just doesnt end until I break down.

I want control of my mind back.

[Suziewuzie]

You ARE in control and you haven't done any damage to your brain, come on now keep your chin up. The negative, scary thoughts are screaming louder than the rational, positive ones right now & because you can't ignore them you have to think about them & then it gets worse. This is all anxiety x

[LiveAboveIt]

You ARE in control and you haven't done any damage to your brain, come on now keep your chin up. The negative, scary thoughts are screaming louder than the rational, positive ones right now & because you can't ignore them you have to think about them & then it gets worse. This is all anxiety x

Sorry, Suzie. Just seem to keep having these horrible setbacks. Everytime it happens I always reconsider getting back on meds. My Psychiatrist said the firmly believes that I can do it without medication, but it seems on and off. I can go a couple days feeling really strong and I know my path to recovery. Other days I totally forget what I even believe in and I just squirm against it and dont know whats real or not, thought-wise.

Maybe I was stupid to just turn my back against all medication just because I had a poor reaction to Citalopram, I dont really know anymore.

[pollynewsome]

Hi, im 16 days on 20mg of citolapram after doing 4 weeks at 10mg.. Feel absolutely dreadful.. keep getting told to hold out things will improve but each day just get worse and worse! The worst symptom is the severe head fog/head tension almost like you said Live,spectator of my own mind/brain.. its so scary and dare not drive when like this cos so out of it.. What you are experiencing is just how i felt getting off prozac and to be honest starting to feel similar on the cit... felt pretty good on the 10mg but the 20mg just killing me:(.. What a life for us all.. stay strong everyone

[LiveAboveIt]

Hi, im 16 days on 20mg of citolapram after doing 4 weeks at 10mg.. Feel absolutely dreadful.. keep getting told to hold out things will improve but each day just get worse and worse! The worst symptom is the severe head fog/head tension almost like you said Live,spectator of my own mind/brain.. its so scary and dare not drive when like this cos so out of it.. What you are experiencing is just how i felt getting off prozac and to be honest starting to feel similar on the cit... felt pretty good on the 10mg but the 20mg just killing me:(.. What a life for us all.. stay strong everyone

Yeah, its very hard.. I wasnt this bad before the Citalopram. I have strange artificial anxiety all day that just randomly spikes. All of my thoughts are fearful and anxious, no matter how much I try to stay calm. Its almost like my brain is getting signals that I am not sending. Tons of first fear.

How long did it take you for these symptoms to stop after quitting prozac? I think that Ive been on too many meds and my brain just cant handle anymore.

Its strange because I dont have any severe physical symptoms of anxiety besides feeling spaced out. Other than that its just a random wicked feeling of dread and anxious thoughts.

Normally by now when I am okay and decide to not be afraid, the anxiety will diminish quickly. This stuff however is unrelenting and for no reason. I can only chalk it up to withdrawal because this is ridiculous.

[Nessy99]

Ive had exactly the same day. Just really strong feelings of fear for no reason which causes me to focus on it all day and worry. Im not doing so great at positive self talk today because Im so concerned about this never going away. Read too many stories about protracted withdrawals that last years.

---------- Post added at 18:30 ---------- Previous post was at 18:27 ----------



Did you have anxiety issues during withdrawals? Do you remember how long they lasted for you?

Anxiety is always a big component when you get hit by bad withdrawals. The anxiety lasted a long time for me and i kept trying to treat it with more SSRI's. This just made it worse, but that was just my experience and I guess I just got unlucky.

The anxiety you feel in withdrawal is probably a lot worse than anything you've felt in your life. Is that right? If it is it's perfectly normal and doesn't mean you'll be like that forever. It will die down over time.

I was on SSRI's a long long time, well over a decade, so my experience of withdrawals will be nothing like yours. The anxiety i had was horrific (pacing round my house, panic attacks like i've never had before, DP/DR like i've never had before etc etc). I thought i'd never recover. 6 months later i'm doing a lot better and most of the anxiety is gone. What remains is very superficial. Your recovery time will be a lot shorter as you've not been on them long, even if your symptoms are just as acute as mine. You won't wake up one day and be cured. it will just slowly fade over time.

[LiveAboveIt]

Anxiety is always a big component when you get hit by bad withdrawals. The anxiety lasted a long time for me and i kept trying to treat it with more SSRI's. This just made it worse, but that was just my experience and I guess I just got unlucky.

The anxiety you feel in withdrawal is probably a lot worse than anything you've felt in your life. Is that right? If it is it's perfectly normal and doesn't mean you'll be like that forever. It will die down over time.

I was on SSRI's a long long time, well over a decade, so my experience of withdrawals will be nothing like yours. The anxiety i had was horrific (pacing round my house, panic attacks like i've never had before, DP/DR like i've never had before etc etc). I thought i'd never recover. 6 months later i'm doing a lot better and most of the anxiety is gone. What remains is very superficial. Your recovery time will be a lot shorter as you've not been on them long, even if your symptoms are just as acute as mine. You won't wake up one day and be cured. it will just slowly fade over time.

Thank you so much for this.

Yeah, the anxiety is the worst it's ever been, but I keep worrying that it's all just me not being able to cope with it/fueling it more. Everyone keeps telling me to reinstate the Citalopram, but I dont want to do this all over again. Today is Day 29 and Ive actually had 2 good days about a week or so ago that made me think I was over it because the anxiety was so mild and then boom it just came back full force one day.

Most of my anxiety is based around the worry of being like this forever, like this is going to be my normal anxiety now. Its all I think about and I just have constant anticipatory anxiety of it going full blown panic again, which it always does. When its not full blown panic its just a constant state of moderate anxiety and constant anxious thinking, feeling detached and disconnected with mild DP all day.

Ive been on and off meds for the last 6 years, but never on one for more than a couple months and never experienced withdrawal to this degree. So Im hoping the mental anxiety will only last a couple months or so, if not shorter.

Hearing you say that 6 months down the road it has become manageable is very comforting. Thank you again.

---------- Post added at 12:51 ---------- Previous post was at 11:01 ----------

This was a post I made on a different thread that kind of explains what I've been going through, but in more detail.

Yeah, I'm not sure what it is. I was on Effexor XR for about 3 weeks before I discontinued because they tried increasing the dose and I started to suffer severe panic attacks, always in the middle of the night. Was put on 20mg Prozac to bridge while I tapered down the Effexor, but had a severe reaction of akathisia after taking them both for about 4 days and had to just cold turkey both of them.

Had pretty severe withdrawals for around 4 weeks before they started me on 20mg of Citalopram. I was on Citalopram for around 5 weeks before I was told to cold turkey because of the severe reaction I had to it.

Since then, I am always in a constant state of anxiety and my thought patterns are very negative and I think I have convinced myself that I can't stop thinking about the anxiety and worrying. I don't know if this is normal GAD, but when I try to stop worrying about it, my mind continues to worry anyway and this ramps up the anxiety even further. I don't know if this is normal GAD or withdrawal. My automatic negative thoughts have much more punch than they ever had, anytime I have a thought like "I'm going to be stuck like this forever," its a very painful thought and is immediately considered truth before I even have time to analyze it or be rational.

It feels like I have absolutely no buffer for stress and anxiety and the emotions are just running wild. I have horrible anger spells for no reason where I get really hostile and aggressive. I cry at just about everything. And often times I will just suddenly feel overwhelmed by the anxiety and thoughts for no reason and start to despair with suicidal thoughts and what I would describe at psychosis. Last night I was in a terrible state where I couldn't handle the way I felt and the constant anxiety/thoughts, I was bawling to my girlfriend about wanting to kill myself and how I cant cope or do this. She kept trying to reassure me that it is withdrawals and would pass and I just didnt care, I firmly believed that I couldn't handle it anymore.

After it passes, I no longer feel that way and I'm just kind of left in bewilderment about what happened and how the hell I got to that place and I just worry about when its going to happen again, because so far it's been inevitable. It's so intense that I can't separate whats really me and when I just go off the rocker for no reason because of the withdrawals. I haven't been able to make that disconnect between myself and the symptoms.

But yeah, it wouldn't be so alarming if this was usually how I am, which it's not AT ALL. Before the Effexor XR even I wasn't this bad and never constantly thought about suicide or felt overwhelmed and unable to cope. This is my first experience with this and I have no idea how to handle it.

I have a long history of anti-depressant usage, but it's never been this bad before. I've been on and off the meds for the last 6 years or so. On for 3 weeks, off for 3 weeks, on for 4 weeks, off for 4 weeks. I've only ever been on maybe 2 or 3 medications that I was on for 3-4 months. Those were Effexor XR, Lexapro, and Citalopram.

But for whatever reason I can't tolerate meds at all anymore. Hell, even caffeine and sugar. I used to be able to drink coffee before bed and have absolutely no anxiety or trouble sleeping. Used to drink soda and sweet tea ALL DAY. Now I can't even have a glass of sweet tea without waking up in the middle of the night with random panic attacks and constant intense anxiety throughout the day.

I always do worry that this is just my anxiety now and this is the way it is, but there are too many other changes that point to some kind of chemical issue that I haven't ever had problems with before.

It feels like now I'm just stuck constantly ruminating/obsessing about the anxiety and the way I feel, like automatically, even though I don't want to.. And then it just builds for no reason and I lose control. And then some days I wake up and feel almost back to normal and I think I'm cured and then the next day or the end of the day causes me to lose control again.

My mind is just constantly whirring with anxious thoughts and thinking and I can drop over the cliff on a whim, it feels like I have no control.

I feel so unstable right now, it's awful. I don't want to reinstate Citalopram at all. I'm more open to trying a new med, like Mirtazapine or Pregabalin like Terry mentioned, but I'm scared of going through this all over again and I'm worried about how long I'm going to have to wait this out.

Sorry for the giant journal and thank you for the support.

[pollynewsome]

Hi i was approx 2 months feeling blumming rubbish i went off sick from work it was that bad but it did just gradually get easier.. I had maybe about 6 weeks without meds but then the anxiety returned and i decided to try the citolapram. Starting to have regrets but will give it another 4 weeks and then im done with the stuff. Hope it gets easier soon. Keep strong. x