I am not sure how to really deal with this issue. I mean, I've had panic attacks and have anxiety myself, but this is my 8-year-old daughter who can't really comprehend what anxiety is on a biological/technical level, just the feelings of it.
My daughter has always had anxiety due to abandonment issues. I am a father with sole custody. The mother left early on due to post partum depression and never retained custody, so it was granted jointly to myself and the maternal grandmother. The grandmother had residential, as my family and I all worked full time, whereas she didn't work on weekdays. Eventually the grandmother had personal issues with the people she was living with and literally dropped my daughter at our doorstep (we had her half the time as it was). That was like 3 years ago.
The symptoms my daughter has shown over the years is physical, like small ticks. For example, snapping her fingers, rubbing her eyes, blowing on her fingers, etc. She sees a therapist for all of this who helps her filter her thoughts and feelings; the therapist is amazing and does great work. Sadly, my daughter still has some issues that will show themselves, most notably after seeing her mother or talking to her mother on the phone.
For the past two nights immediately before bed time my daughter has had panic attacks. She'll brush her teeth and lay down and suddenly she becomes extremely worried. She says her tummy hurts and she is going to throw up, but her demeanor is that of panic. Her dialogue reminds me of the anxiety I've dealt with, where you feel terribly off and are unsure what you want in a way. She will say stuff like "Help me breathe" when she is breathing totally fine. She cries in small intervals and whines. She will ask someone to do something for her, but then she asks them to immediately stop talking. It's basically how I remember feeling when I first started having my initial panic attacks.
Does anyone have any ideas on how to handle this? I am looking for additional ideas on top of what her therapist says (who she sees today and every week). I looked into some essential oils and stuff, but I am unsure how potent they are and if they actually work. I don't want to medicate her - that's a last resort.
She did have what we believe were panic attacks a year or two ago where she became so upset a couple of times, exclaiming that a star was stuck in her stomach. You know, like the Sun? It seemed absurd, but her fear and tears were real. That was just her way of describing how she felt, which is actually quite sad.
Other than these panic attacks and the sometimes generalized anxiety, she is a sweet little girl that is well taken care of. She has a billion toys, almost always has someone with her (as in the same room, playing or whatever), eats well, goes to yoga weekly, goes to the park often, etc. The only other time I can think she acts "off" is when she does homework, which is like pulling teeth.
Any ideas are appreciated. I just hate seeing my daughter in such a state. I actually started to become extremely saddened that she is dealing with this last night. I know exactly how she feels.
One more thing that it semi-related is my frustration with my father (daughter's grandfather). He doesn't understand anxiety, as he has never had anxiety like I do. My mother has anxiety so she wholeheartedly understands the predicament. He thinks just telling my daughter to think about something else will make her feeling magically better. When we were talking about it last night I was getting quite mad, because he said similar things to me when I first started getting anxiety and panic attacks that were so intense I was in the hospital several times. His heart is in the right spot, as in he is trying to help, but it's frustrating to hear someone who has never endured anxiety to say so adamantly that he knows what to do (like thinking about something else or "not letting it get to you"); if only it were that easy.
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