Need serious help with ROCD/Relationship OCD

[Paintedghost]

I'm new here, but not new to OCD. I have a long, storied history with OCD and pure O of every kind imaginable- except now I have a new kind that is absolutely sucking the heart out of me and making me question everything in my life. I have a boyfriend who I know I love (I panic if he doesn't answer my calls because I worry he's hurt..I'm that attached to him) and he is so amazing and supportive of me since I delved into an episode of severe anxiety and depersonalization shortly after we started dating. I still have some existential OCD lingering from the DP... but I was recently and suddenly tortured by the idea/thoughts/feeling that I'm no longer attracted to my handsome and amazing boyfriend. I check myself constantly while I'm with him and so much of my emotions feel completely blocked or false now. Also- my libido has nosedived for the first time in my life and I get anxious/sick at the thought of intimacy with him (which I loved before) and overall this whole thing is emotionally and mentally destroying me. I'm even questioning if I'll ever be a sexual being again, or if I'm even attracted to men anymore. I'm empty, scared, and don't know myself right now. I just want to feel like I did before... I want to feel certain of my love and attraction for him. I want my passion and desire back. It did such a 180 on me I feel just whiplashed.l can't believe I'm even asking this....I'm out of my mind right now..but can OCD really block love and attraction and desire towards the person you KNOW you love? Should I use ERP tactics and keep having sex with him anyway until my normal feelings come back and the anxiety subsides? Can anxiety actually make you turned off to intimacy? Any words of wisdom you guys have would be like GOLD to me right now. Thank you :(

[vinnikeez]

It happens to me, I can be totally turned off and feel like Feeling -"no, that's not right". Thought - "Then you don't like love him/think there is nothing there that way. Feeling - "No, there is nothing there that way", it's all cycles and circles..... completely normal

[Mona38]

It's OCD. I am happily living with a man, the father of my children and in the past I have taunted myself that I prefer women so shouldn't logically be with a man. He is so lovely he says he doesn't care what I am and we get on with our happy marriage. Of course then OCD leaves me alone. It's stress. Of course you don't have libido when you're in a panic and it doesn't matter if you don't have it all the time anyway. When you get like that my advice is just to get on with things and live with the fear as a side dish to your main course (get on with life and just let it exist on the side). It'll come back. It's just OCD being cruel. Enjoy just watching TV with your man, chatting and going for walks with him and the libido will return even if it takes a while. I now say that perhaps I do prefer women, perhaps I do not love my man in the same way as he does me and I feel SO much better. Questionning it fuels it.