I'm very much stepping out of my comfort zone by posting this, but I need some reassuring words. This website has helped me immensely in the past, so I am hoping that someone can offer me some input.
I'm 17, and I have been dealing with anxiety on and off since I was 13. It was especially bad this spring; I came down with awful health anxiety and spent every day fearing I would drop dead of a heart attack, asthma attack, etc...I've since recovered (for the most part) and am seeing a therapist twice a month.
My issue is this: lately, I have been feeling empty, as if I have nothing to look forward to and there is no point in going forward with my life. I KNOW that this is not true as I am beginning to think about applying to college. For some reason, however, thoughts of the future do not excite me the way that they used to.
I've been having intrusive thoughts about suicide lately, which is why I'm posting this in the OCD forum. I don't have OCD, but I figure that this is the place to ask for advice regarding intrusive thoughts. I am certain that I do not want to kill myself, and I don't think that I would...or would I? It feels more like a FEAR of suicide than anything else. Is it possible to be afraid of suicide?
I think that my next step would be to bring this up with my therapist. But I'm not sure how. I always chicken out of describing the really troubling things going on inside my head. Does anyone have any advice or has anyone been through something similar?