Beyond help?

[ana]

Does it ever feel like nothing really helps? Is it possible to have a 'strain' of anxiety that is entirely treatment-resistant?

Perhaps some of you on this site already know my story, but over the last 16 years, I've been suffering quite a bit. I've also been receiving therapy, taking medications, persisting and challenging myself. I've tried meditation and energy healing as alternate methods of decreasing my anxiety, but no matter how hard I've tried, no matter how many different medications I've taken, all I've been getting so far is temporary relief. I've had good times. In fact, I've had whole 5 years of feeling functional, being able to go different places at various times of the day without any anxiety... but then things god bad again. It's a pattern. Good times are inevitably going to come to an end, sooner or later.

So I wonder... am I to blame? Am I too weak a person, is my character sub par in a way, unable to fight off my own demons?

My therapist believes I hold on to my anxiety, for reasons unknown to either her or I (despite seeing her for over 3 years now, we've not been able to find many answers in therapy), though I push and push and push myself constantly: go to work, see friends, go places, function. How and why am I not making progress? How and why can't I get release?

[StilnotDead]

hi there.

I dont know you from a bar of soap but i understad your thoughts.

What i have found is this, when times are bad i work and work to get myslef out of it. Through medication and my own thought control or perceptions i eventually find that right mix of things that keep me out of that zone. And yes it feels like ive never had anxiety before when im like that.

There are two things you must realise. There is no strain that is incurable. That fact that you are so aware of you emotional state also suggests that you arent in the least demeneted or "messed up".

You like myself are just genetically pre disposed to getting anxiety.

Coming back to my first thought. We get in this zone where we are the masters of our minds , done with anxiety , u know the feeling. The problem is this , we as humans run on auto pilot for 70 % of our lives.This means that you subcincious ( having been reprogrammed by all your work ) will try to get back to what it was genetically programmed to be) .

So slowly you slip , sometimes you know it other times you dont, but inevitably you get smacked with that one massive attack after a few years and you feel like you lost it all.

Its very common. Because we stop working on ourselves when things are not going wrong. I myself am guilty of this.

The trick is in my mind a bit rough but this is what i do . I take full responsibility for how i feel and react to circumstances, if it makes me panic m its me panicking i need to sort it out.

You have clearly beaten it before , by five years which is an exceptional margin most people get relapses every year or two years. So you definitely have what it takes to put that demon away. Anxiety clouds your judgement in the moment and YOU believe you cant break it. Even if history proves you can as you have.

Its not unbeatable , and yes dont carry it around, if it comes it comes , deal with it and move on. Just give it as little attention as possible not by saying dont think about it, ignore it, but with acceptance : saying oh look my body is having a wrongful reaction to this situation , let me correct it it will pass and carry on. It will knaw and try to get back and your mind , do the same thing .

Eventually your minds going to dismiss as something unimportant on its own.

All you need to do right now it cultivate that mindset that set you free for five years again, The one that YOU created by yourself in the past , and keep cultivating it. You have the "cure" dont let that anxiety EVER make you believe you dont have it that is anxieties biggest and strongest card/bluff and its the one the keeps you trapped in that cycle.

[Bigboyuk]

Hi ana no this is not true as StillnotDead rightly says it's about changing your mind set
Iam currently going to a 12 step programme (peer support group) based along the lines of GA, AA and other anonymous groups that use a 12 step programme I will in due course post details on a streaming radio station that this mental health organisastion is setting up it's going to be big when launched. there's been a few problems setting this radio station up. but it will be online soon, and will be global too so if you have tried other ways to change your mind set to no avail then this will could well be for you, and others like you, never ever give up ATB

[StilnotDead]

Hi ana no this is not true as StillnotDead rightly says it's about changing your mind set
Iam currently going to a 12 step programme (peer support group) based along the lines of GA, AA and other anonymous groups that use a 12 step programme I will in due course post details on a streaming radio station that this mental health organisastion is setting up it's going to be big when launched. there's been a few problems setting this radio station up. but it will be online soon, and will be global too so if you have tried other ways to change your mind set to no avail then this will could well be for you, and others like you, never ever give up ATB

HI Big yea the mindset has all of the power. My psych once asked me tell me about something you love i mentioned a few things and one was gyming. He said oh thats interesting , tell me what you feel like when you gym.

I said great ... he asked for more detail so i dove in. My hearts pumping hard, im breathing heavy i am sweating . my muscles feel tense , like i need to keep moving . He said interesting now tell me what a panic attack feels like .... i started My hearts pumping hard , i cant breath , im sweating , my muscles are tense ...... then i realised its all the same as an anxiety attack with a single difference.

The one situation i perceived as a threat and the other i found exciting. Perception is everything

[Maca44]

I find that worrying about the anxiety duration and if I'm never going to feel ok again causes me even more anxiety I get anxiety about thinking about anxiety. It is only when I look back at stuff ive written when anxious I see in fact It's always got better, every time it happens. My wife always says it has been worse when I think it's the worst bout of anxiety to date so writing stuff down has helped me along with what my wife tells me.

I am not keen on spending years and years in therapy as this can just constantly drag up the past and cause more harm than good as I belive there has to come a time when we just need to move on so although short term therapy has really helped me deal with some issues it was time to get on with life and try to just be in the now not in the past or worry about the future. All the time we are "Looking for a cure" we are just telling ourselves there is something wrong with us but in fact there is nothing wrong with us and nothing to cure we are just perhaps more sensitive than some and prone to turn in on ourselves causing this anxiety.

The more i'm able to just accept my anxious mind the more I find that I get longer spells of being ok with it as part of who I am and when I am like this my mood lifts and I am more in the now. I have nothing to cure, in fact most people I meet here or in public who suffer from anxiety/depression are the most beautiful people I have met and the world would be a better place if more were like us we just need to channel our sensitive minds in a more positive way

[ana]

Big,
could you tell us more about this programme?

Changing on's mindset... My therapist has told me that it's not all about willpower at this point, but neurological pathways that have got created over the years and years of anxiety and panic. In other words, I function a certain way because I've learnt to, because it's second nature to me now: avoidance, fear, anxiety, panic, stress... it's all never-ending.

[Bigboyuk]

Yes of course ana that's if I can remember all the 12 steps lol I will try and run through them now: Step 1. Admit you have a problem. Step 2. Take action. Step 3. Trust and cooperate. Step 4. Get the power. Step 5. Use and develop wellness tools. Step 6. Begin personal evaluation. Step 7. Cultivate healthy thinking. Step 8. Cultivate healthy behaviour. Step 9. Realise that feelings may not be facts! Step[ 10. Get on with your life.
Step 11. Give it time. Step 12. Pass it on (to others) Like I said it can and does work with any MH condition |Hope this helps some what ana ATB

[ana]

Thank you. I think I'd need a 1112 step programme though.

[Bigboyuk]

Thank you. I think I'd need a 1112 step programme though.

ana you may think that right now, but you don't need more than the 12 steps outlined here. I have been to GA and OA too both use the 12 steps programme and while I m not cured one day at time iam recovering very well. have a look what step you are at and take it from there ATB

[ana]

I'm glad to hear you're making progress and feeling better. I guess I've just lost faith after over a decade of trying. Maybe that's what I need, to just stop trying and live as normally as I can.