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Thread: Kraggy's Health Anxiety Diary

  1. #1
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    Kraggy's Health Anxiety Diary

    Well, I was thinking about this the other day, Thinking of making a Diary about my Health Anxiety, If I can remember correctly a long time ago I got tipped by someone to do this, apperantly you will see a pattern eventually...Or something like that...

    anyhows It is okey if I make this Diary here, and I'll do my best to keep it as up-to-date as possible!

    6/5/2009 - 15:45 CET+1

    Creating the Diary, I am in a constant state of anxiety, I finally managed to fall asleep feeling afraid in the morning, and I woke up in the afternoon, my first action was checking my throat....The Lymph Nodes on my jaw lines scare me, although probably caused by the Cold Sores outbreak on my lips that started a few days ago.
    I also found a smaller, harder lump that these lymph Nodes on my throat yesterday, about an inch (2.5 cm) about my Adams apple, slightly to the right. This one seems to be alot less mobile then the other ones, if not stuck completely. The continues poking & probbing at my throat skin has made the area form my adams apple to my chin a bit sore, I've also been having a sore throat for the past 2 weeks, but when the doctor checked it last week she didn't notice anything, she also did not feel the Lymph Nodes that I discovered a few days ago..
    Today I decided to make another appointment with another doctor, one that I see more often but is unfortionatly only in 3 days a week, I'll have to last till Friday for that though.
    While typing this I tilted my head up, and felt a slight pain, when I felt my neck I could feel a hard, painfull bump in my hair...For some reason the first thought was Melanoma...

    6/5/2009 - 22:45 CET+1

    The fear for some reason just got a huge burst, It might be because its getting late, since my Anxiety usually gets worst at night...The lumps are still there, Ofcourse, they dont just dissapear like that now do they ^^ The lump on my throat, well, Justbananas managed to calm me down a bit, I'll be going to the doctor about it anyways since I got my appointment set right now anyhows ^^ When taking a bath earlier I did my usual skin self inspection and bumped into something scary...A weird Birthmark that I have on my sides, which is more like a wart, with another birthmark right now to it. Right next to those 2 a new dark spot seems to be appearing, this is having me frightened and my heart is racing. I'll have it checked out by the doctor to, but unfortionatly I need to wait till Friday...

    7/5/2009 - 16:35 CET+1

    Sooo, when I woke up today I felt pretty crappy, the day started off with feeling my neck for lumps, Took a bath where I checked the moles on my body. Brushed my teeth and checked for weird things in my mouth/throat...I allways wake up with an incredibly dry mouth & Some kind of thick dried up stuff against my palette, Which I can usually get rid of my drinking a bit..Might be caused because I tend to sleep with my mouth open?
    Just now I finished cooking, Made Tagitablabla (Some hard word) with Salmon strips, tastes pretty good. But I feel a tad bit sick now for some reason, maybe its my anxiety, maybe I just ate to much. All in all the day is going pretty much as every other day since I got HA, Loads of self checking and a constant presence of slight anxiety. I have to go to work soon, luckely its a short evening only. Then tomorrow morning I finally got my Doctors appointment at 11:10 in the morning, I hope that he'll be able to put my mind at rest.

    8/5/2009 - 20:30 CET +1

    Earlier today I finally managed to get to the doctors office, and my was it a new experience. For the first time in all my visits in the past month's the waiting room was packed, It was obvious the doctor was very busy. Avarage wait time was over an hour (My appointment was at 11:10. I got in at about 12:30) Luckely I am a VERY patient person, so with the National Geographic Channel Magazines I didn't have to much trouble with the waiting. For a woman sitting next to me it was diffirent though, Poor old woman seemed to have a panic attack right next to me, Hyperventilating, Gasping for breath, Luckely they gave her immediate access to the doctors office instead of making her wait. The thing that angered me the most is that the other people in the waiting room at Angry at the Poor lady. I dont mind waiting at all, But the constant complaining of people was really getting on my nerves..
    Anyways, After about 1.5 hour of reading It was finally my turn, And boy was the doctor happy that I realised that he was busy so I made it as quick as possible. The felt the lump at my throat & jaw lines - Swollen Lymph Nodes. He checked my throat and said I had a mild throat infection. The weird part is, I went to another doctor last week...She said everything looked perfectly normal & healthy.
    Anyways I trust this doctor alot more none the less, so it really calmed my mind. He took a look at the Birthmark on my side, which started to "Grow" another discoloured dot right next to it. And he said it looked perfectly calm & normal, I could become a hundred years even with it. Within 3 minutes I was out of the office again, A big smile on my face & Making the doctor have a good laugh as I left with the line "Allright, See you in a few weeks im going for a new record!".

    12/5/2009 - 5:40 AM CET+1

    Soo, Time for another update!
    The last few days have been pretty casual. I made a couple of forum posts where people really eased my mind down again.
    The problems I had were bumps on my uvula, A Small Cluster of yellow bumps. The bumps themselves are not painfull, although I do have a sore throat,a pain high in the throat which is worst when swallowing.
    I also noticed that one of my tonsils is bigger then the other one, which for some reason scares me 10 times more then when they're both swollen!
    My stomach has been having his own will to, Weird stings, pains & cramps after eating. A feeling asif something is rising, allmost like a Hiccup, but it goes down again before reaching my mouth.
    I've been having a weird "Itch" inside my mouth, on the roof of the mouth, very anoying since it seems to be "un-scratchable" scratching does not have any effect on it at all.
    My stools have been pretty normal, which is a relief, just nice evenly coloured sausages! (To much detail!? )
    unfortionatly I am a bit worried worried none the less when I go to the bathroom.. I get very weird sounds comming from my lower belly when I do so, Allmost like the Gurgles you hear from your stomach ocasionaly, but it literally comming from my lower belly, and sounding really wet for some reason.
    I have decided that the next step I need to take to get rid of my Health Anxiety must be no longer frequently inspecting myself, for instance no more opening my mouth wide & inspecting my mouth/throat everytime I stand infront of a mirror..Yes I do it everytime! Brushing teeth, toilet (At work & at home we have a mirror there just above the sink, so when washing my hands..there we go) Imagine how it looks when you head to a toilet, open the door and you see some guy with his mouth wide open inspecting his mouth...Yeah wondering what you'd think if you'd see that.
    I know this step will be very hard, far harder then stopping with googling, but it is one that must be made..

    Update 14/5/2009 - 11:10 AM CET+1

    Soo good morning everyone, for the last 2 days or so my Anxiety has been pretty Balanced! I've been slapping myself across the wrist everytime I wanted to check things, unfortionatly I failed this morning. I actually stuck my finger in my mouth to feel my tonsils, causing me to feel the swollen Tonsol, which feels hard & rubbery. I've never felt a swollen tonsil before but I hope this is normal. I also noticed that the pain in my throat is the worst in the Morning, or well any time after I just woke up really. Someone on this forum said that it could have something to do with the side that I sleep on, I guess I'll just look to that for comfort! What I did learn though, is that my Anxiety is easily handleable untill I inspect myself! But once I do that, the anxiety begins & the urge of self-inspecting rises.
    I've also been looking at my weight a bit, which seems to be just the same as a week ago. Which is to me a huge relief since I know Im not losing weight rapidly.
    Right now the main fear I have is the single swollen tonsil, I'll wait another week, if it aint gone by then It'll be another visit to the good ol' doctor to ask for an explanation on why only one tonsil is swollen, that should ease my mind!

    Update 16/5/2009 7:30 AM CET+1

    Here we go again, Im in the middle of a heavy fear of oral cancer, Why? Well I woke up feeling good this morning, Brushed my teeth & looked at the area under my tongue for some reason...What I saw there absolutely scared the heck out of me...I noticed a dark-red bump on my frenulum, at the area called "Warton's Ducts" on this picture

    http://www.doctorspiller.com/images/...gualFrenum.jpg

    I know it wasn't like that before because when I went to the doctor a few weeks ago about beeing worried about it she said "It doesn't look red or anything at all so nothing is wrong with it"...Now it is bright red & im once again shaking on my knees...This will probably be another visit to the doctor's office this week...And I had my hopes up high for lasting atleast a month...

    Update 21/5/2009 23:00 CET+ 1

    Phew, its been a few days since I last updated!
    The past days have been pretty great, The red bump I was afraid of in my mouth turned back to normal colour, I still have a constant anxiety about the hard lump inside my chin...Still got a bunch of swollen lymph nodes on my jaw line two, but 2 weeks ago the doctor said they were nothing to worry about...
    The lump in my chin is my number one fear right now,since it just feels weird...
    I also got a dry mouth & throat all the time and my throat starts to hurt when I talk for a long time..which is a bit scary aswell when I think about it...
    None the less, i have been pretty good the past few days..compared to the past few month's :P

    Update 26/5/2009 22:00 CET +1

    Here we go again, We're a few days further and its time for another update. Not really much has changed really, Still as worried about the Lymph Nodes on my jaw line, the hard lump in my chin is still scaring me, Today I decided to make a doctor appointment, This friday, 3 in the afternoon...I hoped I could go tomorrow when I called, but I waited to long I guess, no more open spot.
    My throat is still acting weird, it seems to start hurting alot after eating stuff like apples, Or when I wake up in the morning, then it hurts alot to. I have stings under my tongue at times, and some slight stings in my ears aswell, sometimes on one side sometimes on the other.
    I've made a few post these pas few days, asking for info, and well...all I can say is, expect for more to come, Unfortionatly.
    I'll update again once I have been to the doctor, who will hopefully ease my mind..
    Last edited by Kraggy; 26-05-09 at 21:01.

  2. #2
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    Re: Kraggy's Health Anxiety Diary

    I think that's a brilliant idea. Just reading your first post I found myself thinking "Gosh, that could've been me - it's not just me!" I'll certainly read the diary with interest. You're very brave!

  3. #3
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    Re: Kraggy's Health Anxiety Diary

    Hehe, Thank you Aging.

    I'll probably be updating the page atleast once a day, mainly when I get Anxiety attacks dueue to something, be it a lump or a pain, Lets see how long I'll last with keeping it up to date!

    Kind regards,

    Kraggy

  4. #4
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    Re: Kraggy's Health Anxiety Diary

    Update - 6/5/2009 - 22:45 CET +1

  5. #5
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    Re: Kraggy's Health Anxiety Diary

    Update 7/5/2009 - 16:35 CET+1

  6. #6
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    Re: Kraggy's Health Anxiety Diary

    Update - 8/5/2009 - 20:30 CET +1

    Doctors Office Appointment

  7. #7
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    Re: Kraggy's Health Anxiety Diary

    Yay a swollen lymph node! What did I tell ya? So happy to hear it went well(aside from the waiting)! Hope you are feeling much better now. As usual, I'm always here to listen

  8. #8
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    Re: Kraggy's Health Anxiety Diary

    Haha, Thank you Girlrock, you were correct indeed. ^^ I'm feeling a bit better, unfortionatly some new things are bothering me again already, as you can read in the 12/5/2009 - 5:40 AM CET+1 update ^^

    Updated 12/5/2009 - 5:40 AM CET+1 :P

  9. #9
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    Re: Kraggy's Health Anxiety Diary

    This is a brill idea and will read it with interest. I especially like your intent to get rid of your HA. I am also on a mission to cure myself of this horrid illness. It would be great if there was a section on this forum dedicated to personal diary's. I am hanging on to a hope that there is a natural answer to our problems, whether it be HA or depression or OCD, whatever, its a great way to share our daily experiences, whether for better or for worse. Great post :-)

  10. #10
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    Re: Kraggy's Health Anxiety Diary

    Haha, Thank you Allways-Ill,

    I got the idea from some other forum, someone said that you should make a diary and eventually you will find a pattern in it.
    He was completely right in it, since I noticed the impact of not constantly self inspecting myself!

    P.S. Update 14/5/2009 11:10 CET+1! :3

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