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Thread: Scared of living..Scared of dying!!!

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
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    390

    Scared of living..Scared of dying!!!

    I know his sounds so weird, but this is the awful state I have put myself into these last few months. I am terrified of death (that's why I have such severe health anxiety) and I fear I'm becoming agoraphobic because everytime I leave my house I become so anxious and panicky. So I'm scared of dying which in turn has created so much anxiety in my life that I can't go out and enjoy the things I used to! I feel so bad for my husband and daughter who I know what the old me back. I try to go out and do things with them but my fear of passing out or having a panic attack in public always takes over. Deep down I know that if I could only accept that my anxiety is causing all these awful symptoms I would be better. There's just that voice in my head that is always saying "what if it's cancer, brain tumor, what if all the tests and doctors are wrong???"

    What a predicament to be in huh? Im trying CBT but am coming off my meds as they were making my anxiety worse (Mirtazapine 30 mg). Anyone else feel like this? Anyone get over it and is now living a normal life again? I need some support badly! Thanks for reading.

  2. #2

    Re: Scared of living..Scared of dying!!!

    Hi there, this is exactly how I felt a few years ago after a very traumatic experience. Although I still have the thoughts about dying and being scared of dying and I still imagine what life would be without me, I have slowly started to accept the fact that I have to be able to try and lead some sort of normal life without having these thoughts or else what kind of life would I have?? I still suffer from health anxiety and at the moment I would appear to have every illness going! I know my thoughts are irrational but until I feel better I will always think the worst. Try not to think about it too much and you will be amazed at how quickly the thoughts disappear

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
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    2,196

    Re: Scared of living..Scared of dying!!!

    Hi hun what u wrote i feel exactly the same hunand its bloody awful we just want our lifes back again. Like u im terrified of dying this is my biggest fear as i worry bout my kids pm anytime. Bev

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Posts
    390

    Re: Scared of living..Scared of dying!!!

    It really has gotten bad recently ... I think when I first started having anxiety issues over 2 years ago I didn't get the help I needed and I let all my worries and fears take over. I just started CBT and trying to find the right meds for me. So far citalopram and mirtazapine have done nohing to ease my anxiety. I shouldn't have let my issues go untreated for so long as I have now developed an almost automatic way of thinking the worst case scenario for everything. Thanks for your replies..they mean a lot to me! Hugs!!

  5. #5

    Unhappy Re: Scared of living..Scared of dying!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by luv2teach View Post
    I know his sounds so weird, but this is the awful state I have put myself into these last few months. I am terrified of death (that's why I have such severe health anxiety) and I fear I'm becoming agoraphobic because everytime I leave my house I become so anxious and panicky. So I'm scared of dying which in turn has created so much anxiety in my life that I can't go out and enjoy the things I used to! I feel so bad for my husband and daughter who I know what the old me back. I try to go out and do things with them but my fear of passing out or having a panic attack in public always takes over. Deep down I know that if I could only accept that my anxiety is causing all these awful symptoms I would be better. There's just that voice in my head that is always saying "what if it's cancer, brain tumor, what if all the tests and doctors are wrong???"

    What a predicament to be in huh? Im trying CBT but am coming off my meds as they were making my anxiety worse (Mirtazapine 30 mg). Anyone else feel like this? Anyone get over it and is now living a normal life again? I need some support badly! Thanks for reading.
    Hello Luv2teach,
    I do : I feel the same way but albeit for different reasons.
    My name is David and I live in the United Kingdoms. Our Government is scrapping the Disability Living Allownce here in England and replacing it with a new kind of benefit. Having read preliminary draught Government reports concerning how that will be administered and on what new critreria eligibility will be decided, has created overwhelming anxiety in me because according to the new rules I will probably become one of the twenty per cent that my Government wants to revoke benefits from. Since that is my only source of income, I am terrified as to what I will do when that new legislation is introduced.

  6. #6

    Re: Scared of living..Scared of dying!!!

    If it helps I am petrified of dying, I have been ever since I can remember! When I was young I would wake in a panic and run into my Mum's room screaming I dont want to die! I wake now but dont disturb my husband as he doesnt understand so I go downstairs until I calm down! I dont like the thought its horrible thinking that one day I wont be here!! Then I worry what if I die young, wot if I die while my kids are young! my hearts racing when I think of this! even when I am releaxed I am aware of my heart beating! I cant read anything in the magazines or newspapers about real life ilnesses or deaths especially sudden deaths in young children, I am convinced I need to take my children to get their hearts checked as I am petrified I am going to loose them!! The thoughts are in my head all day everyday I am scared to sleep incase I dont wake! I dont want to be like this anymore I want to be happy and enjoy life and my children as one thing I know for sure is one day I will die, this is one thing I do not have control over!
    I hope you find a way to overcome your fears, but please know you are not alone!! xx

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Posts
    248

    Re: Scared of living..Scared of dying!!!

    hi everyone. i feel exactly the same with the constant fear of dying, and i too feel like its starting take over my life. I have had 3 family decision the last couple of years,and i think that has alot to do with it. one of them was my dad, who i don't feel i have delt with.
    i think my problem started with my first,and up to now only,panic attack. it hit me that i couldn't control my body if that makes sense, and from then on it has turned into full on HA.
    I have got beautiful young kids who i want to be able to enjoy life with anecdote wonderful husband, but my mind constantly whirls with troubles and worries. i would give anything to think and feel normally again.
    how ironic we are all so scared of dying that we are not properly living?!
    would welcome any messages from anyone who wanup to chat or has things that work in dealing with this! xxx

    ---------- Post added at 08:26 ---------- Previous post was at 08:24 ----------

    decision=*death* bloody spell check!

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Posts
    390

    Re: Scared of living..Scared of dying!!!

    Wow I forgot I even posted this.. Feels so long ago but unforurnley I still feel the same way. My fears are more heart related now. I've moved on from cancer to more sudden death type illnesses! Anyway, it is sad that I allow these fears to keep me from living a full life, but my health anxiety is so severe and my symptoms are 24/7 so it's all I think about. My anxiety also got a lot worse when both my grandpas died only six weeks apart. They were the first real deaths of a loved one I've ever had to deal with so it's been rough. I hope we can all find some piece of mind soon... I am getting sick of living this way!
    __________________
    "Panic is a sudden desertion of us, and a going over to the enemy of our imagination". ~Christian Nevell Bovee

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Posts
    248

    Re: Scared of living..Scared of dying!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by luv2teach View Post
    Wow I forgot I even posted this.. Fe. I hope we can all find some piece of mind soon... I am getting sick of living this way!
    Same here!

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Posts
    73

    Re: Scared of living..Scared of dying!!!

    hi ya
    same here! i fear dying,i dont worry as much about sudden death type things as i think to myself i wouldnt know anyway, i fear cancer mostly as the knowing its coming but not knowing when is my fear,and suffering and putting my family through it all.
    my most recent relapse was due to losing my nan so can totally understandxx

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