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Thread: Fear of having a personality disorder? Serious mental illness fears?

  1. #1
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    Fear of having a personality disorder? Serious mental illness fears?

    Does anyone else obsess over there mental health? As in start self-diagnosing with random persoanlity disorders and other really serious. issues? I'm terrified that I could have a personality disorder of some kind! I know Dr. Google is quack but I just can resist the complusion to consult him. I realized lately that my fears for my mental health are similar to those for my physical health. I feel one small sensation and I think its a serious disease. I was feeling a little angry. and confused and fearing abandonment from a person the other day and I became positive that I had bordeline personality disorder. Then another day I was feeling a little suspicious and I was sure I have schizotypal personality disorder. It. never ends. The therapist I went to told me that he mainly sees anxiety in me. But I guess with this illness one bout of reassurance is never enough. Just curious to see if anyone else feels this way?

  2. #2
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    Re: Fear of having a personality disorder? Serious mental illness fears?

    Thank you for replying! That's true. I suppose it's usually other people who notice when something is off if it is a personality disorder and not the person who suffers from it.

  3. #3

    Re: Fear of having a personality disorder? Serious mental illness fears?

    Hi Megan,
    I have been dealing with the same fears you have for a little over a year now. It all started with my first really bad panic attack and being a psychology major in university (a pretty bad mix, I know). I have spent weeks and months worrying about what type of mental illnesses I COULD develop or COULD already have. I know it is really hard but you just have to keep resisting "Dr. Google", and also try to not fear mental illnesses so badly. I still deal with this fear daily and it's extremely hard to cope with, but over time you just have to learn that 1) what you are fearing is most likely not going to happen to you/you don't have these mental illnesses that you are fearing ESPECIALLY if you have been told by your counselor/psychologist that you don't have them and 2) SO WHAT if you did have these mental illnesses? It's not the end of the road for you, and you deserve to live a life where you aren't worrying about these types of things constantly. It is a lot easier said then done, but I promise it does get a little bit easier with time and with acceptance.
    Hope you are doing well

  4. #4
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    Re: Fear of having a personality disorder? Serious mental illness fears?

    Thank you so much Bella! I can definately relate! I am a cognitive science major with a psychology emphasis and I feel that my fears have been agravated by this for sure lol!

  5. #5

    Re: Fear of having a personality disorder? Serious mental illness fears?

    Quote Originally Posted by Megan99 View Post
    Thank you so much Bella! I can definately relate! I am a cognitive science major with a psychology emphasis and I feel that my fears have been agravated by this for sure lol!
    Oh gosh! haha that definitely would aggravate my fears as well! I specifically remember avoiding psych classes just so that I wouldn't have to hear more about certain mental illnesses because I knew I would fixate on them! As long as you are happy in your major and feel as if it doesn't make your anxiety spiral out of control then good for you

  6. #6
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    Re: Fear of having a personality disorder? Serious mental illness fears?

    I spent something like a year fearing that I'd develop schizophrenia, did or end up so depressed that I'd kill myself. On top of these obsessions I had countless others and endless list of all kinds of symptoms. It's been a long and bumpy ride but I'm absolutely thankful that I experienced all of this. If I got my old life back, I'd end up having these obsessions again because I had so many harmful beliefs and ways of thinking that obsessions would be a necessary consequence.

    What I learned is that ocd is a disorder that runs on ways we react to uncertainty. This uncertainty can be absolutely anything. The themes our minds come up with are not important. What is important is to realize we react to these uncertainties in a compulsive way. I spent all my days engaged in all kinds of compulsions in my head. I tried to convince myself that I wouldn't go crazy, I imagined conversations with my therapist, I ruminated, googled answers to my questions, read so many articles and books about anxiety, existentialism etc and all of these gave me a short term relief but only made my obsessions and compulsions more and more complex in the long run. When I was at my lowest point, my whole life had become conpulsions. It was the way I thinked.

    Fortunately I came across ideas that these uncertainties were nothing to be solved. That we shouldn't try to solve these or try to feel certain. We should identify our compulsions, cut them out and meanwhile live a normal life. We must leave the battlefield for good. You might feel like you have to be certain but you really don't! You can have any thought, doubt, image, thought, urge etc in your mind and still act according to the actual situation! When you do this, you'll soon realize that the ocd uncertainties don't have to be in the center of your life. They become irrelevant and you can live a life that is meaningful and fulfilling. And you can do this right now. Never run away from anxiety. Live your life while experiencing these uncertainties. They don't pull you back. You don't have to feel certain way to do all the things that are important and meaningful. And soon these uncertainties will melt away and look stupid.

    English isn't my native language so I apologize if the text is a bit messy. If you got any questions, you can pm me any time!

  7. #7
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    Re: Fear of having a personality disorder? Serious mental illness fears?

    Thank you so much for this wonderful and helpful reply! I really appreciate it!

  8. #8
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    Re: Fear of having a personality disorder? Serious mental illness fears?

    Remember...going crazy because you're scared of going crazy is a hallmark of OCD. So many people with OCD fear having schizophrenia, a personality disorder or some other mental illness or disease. You are actually "normal" for a person with OCD
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  9. #9
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    Re: Fear of having a personality disorder? Serious mental illness fears?

    That's true! Haha! Thanks. I've been feeling a lot better about this these days!

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