Hi Colin..
I hope you are OK.
Your scenario is exactly one I experienced in 2007 and another in 2008!!!
2007 I as due to take a holiday with other half and children, they were young then.
I had a massive breakdown, the beginning of my anxiety, or knowing I had anxiety.
My husband went on without me, that was what I wanted for them so, I can relate to your situation.
There are lots of bits in between 2007 and now BUT I now fly, using diazepam which is massive help. As a previous post on here tonight, I still suffer massive anxiety beforehand and realise that this will happen but if that is the worse bit and it doesnt happen on the flight, I can live with that.
I hope you get help and also say, more importantly, that dont rule out flying again as it can happen. I WAS EXACTLY IN YOUR POSITION AND THOUGHT NEVER AGAIN TO TRY THAT BUT HAVE FLOWN SHORT HAUL EVERY YEAR NOW AND ONE YEAR, TWICE
Feel free to PM if you wish to talk.
regards.
Jackie