Getting signed off?

[Mashy]

I think you've made the right decision. Hope the doc appointment goes OK.

Thanks, my doc has said he won't write a sick note unless they make some kind of adjustment when I go back. They can't as that's the requirement of the course. So I'm in limbo now. Been outside the drs crying for the past hour.


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[wabbit1]

You can self-certificate for the rest of the week to give you some breathing space. Sorry to hear that your doc won't sign you off.

I obviously don't know you or your specific situation but what I will say is do what feels right to you. Don't worry about what others may think. It seems huge right now but in the future this will be nothing but a distant memory.

[MyNameIsTerry]

It's not like he has any legal power to demand adjustments so I find his attitude naive and unhelpful.

You could go back claiming things are worsening. It's his job to do what's best for the patient and if time off is needed, it shouldn't be dictated by the possibility of reasonable adjustments.

His attitude is a head in the sand one.

[Mashy]

Yeh I'm going to have to self-certificate. My uni tutor is on holiday which is rather unhelpful too.

I'm really frustrated with this doctor.I remember last time I went to see him, saying that I was going to change doctors. Last time it was a different Dr that recommended I had time off.

I knew this would happen, I never get taken seriously when I see a doctor about Mental Health issues - despite the fact that I have over 15 years of records on it.

Thinking of it the whole time I was there I was crying my eyes out, he didn't even offer me a tissue!

[wabbit1]

Hiya. Just checking in. How are things? Can you go back and see another GP?

I moved from one GP to another with my Psychiatrist's backing because of the problems I was having.

[Mashy]

I'm going to try and go back on Friday, but even just having these few days has left me feeling more positive. My mentor from my placement came to pick up my marking and dropped off a card and some flowers from the department which was just so nice of them. I've never worked with such lovely people, although it makes me feel worse for being signed off.

Thank you for checking in xx


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[Panicer]

Hi Mashy

Sorry to hear you're having such a tough time. All I can offer is to echo Wabbit and Terry's advice, that getting yourself well has to be your first priority. Being self certified for a week is nothing to worry about and I wouldn't be afraid to ask to speak to another GP either. If he's been like that with you it's likely a regular occurrence and probably won't come as a surprise to the surgery that you'd like to change. You could always say you're feeling vulnerable, which isn't a lie I imagine and would feel safer speaking to a female GP.

[wabbit1]

Hi Mashy.

That sounds like a lovely department to be in. I was off for nearly a year and it was like I didn't exist. Except to tell me when my pay was stopping.

Good luck tomorrow if you decide to go in. I'll be thinking of you.

Oh and I meant to ask what is it you're teaching?

[Mashy]

Hi I'm sorry I've been away a while.

Had a week off and went back thinking I'd quit at the start of this week. In the meantime, I've gone through this pattern of enjoying being in front of the class but hating every minute of planning which for the PGCE is 75% of the time.

Yesterday I had a really bad day, well I had a OK day until late afternoon.I had a meeting with my professional mentor, I emailed her the day before saying I wanted to discuss my latest drs appointment (i saw a new dr who was a lot more helpful, who actually diagnosed me as depressed and gave me 3 options: 1. antidepressants, 2. have time off with a phased return, 3. quit the course and she will happily write a letter so that I do not have to repay student loan immediately. I was planning on going with the last one and freaked out at the last minute about finding a new job, the depression has made me not want to do anything let alone job seeking. So I went back to school and although stiil experiencing the pattern above, I was actually feeling like I could finish my course and be done with it.
Anyway back to this meeting. She wet straight into lesson planning and how I need to cut down because spending 3-4 hours per lesson is not acceptable (even though its pretty standard on my course), OK I started crying ( I have depression for f sakes!) started going on at me as to how we need to stop that and how I cant keep on crying and how I need to be more resilient ( because I didnt raise my brother since I was 15 when my mum left, I didnt work 30 hours a week thorugh my degree because I got low student loan because I didnt have parents to have their income assessed), it was very intense and I did not feel comfortable. Really I just wanted that time to go back to planning. Anyway after her getting very frustrated at me, me feeling like shit, she said "have you got things going on outside of this?" and I said "yes thats what I wanted to tak to you about, I have depression" and then she started going on at me for not saying it right at the start ( its not something I find easy to just blurt out, and she didnt give me the chance).

Anyway I went home feeling like shit, with some pretty bad suicidal thoughts. I pulled my car over and had to call my husband and tell him everything. I'm glad I did, and I'm glad he's there for me. He told me not to go back to school and to put in a complaint over said mentor ( assistant head). I felt bad for my department and went in anyway (full day with no PPA time), I actually quite enjoyed the day because there was no time for planning - just teaching. I even got comments on how well I did nd how happy I looked.

Tommorow I have a meeting with my uni tutor, I'm really feeling unsure whether to quit as if it wasnt for my professional mentor I feel I could just about finish the course. But I'm also aware my mental health really has hit rock bottom to the point its a matter of life and death (it's rare for me to go half a day without thinking of ending it all), but if I quit money will be a stress and I will have wasted all this time since September.

Right now I'm just feeling really angry towards my professional mentor and at the time thinking maybe I am not good enough an just being a crybaby.

---------- Post added at 23:10 ---------- Previous post was at 23:09 ----------

Hi Mashy.

That sounds like a lovely department to be in. I was off for nearly a year and it was like I didn't exist. Except to tell me when my pay was stopping.

Good luck tomorrow if you decide to go in. I'll be thinking of you.

Oh and I meant to ask what is it you're teaching?

sorry for late reply, it's MFL secondary.