Yet another neck lymph node post

[M00nlight]

Hi everyone!

First time posting, after I have finally accepted that I have health anxiety and I'm not alone.

Seems my health anxiety triggered not long after loosing my dad to melanoma a few years ago.. then I'm pretty sure every single symptom of have is cancer to the point I can not even bring myself to go and see a dr about anything health related! My main sicknesses are cervical cancer, melanoma, multiple myeloma.. and now lymphoma. Which brings me to this post.

A few weeks back I ended up with some weird virus.. left tonsil was inflamed, left side of throat was sore and ended up with a tickle that induced days of coughing. Never gave it another thought after it went away until..

A week ago, my shirt collar was irritating my neck on mu left so I rubbed the irritated spot.. and what did I feel?? A lump! I have no idea how long it's been there. My stomach dropped, I instantly had a nervous bowl attack, heart raced and I felt dizzy... first thought, oh shit I have cancer.

So this lump, I would guess it's the size of my finger tip it's longer then it is wide, moves freely and kind of squishy (trying my hardest not to feel it right now to double check!).. which every thing I have goodled is a good sign and not a sign of metastasis, still doesn't convince me I don't have lymphoma. It seems to get bigger when I stretch my neck out. It's hard to feel when I lay down? But easy to feel when standing.

There isn't one on the other side that I can feel.. and I can't bring myself to see a dr.. I don't think I can face being told it's cancer. Being that I work in pathology I feel like I know too much when it comes to blood tests

I'm doing my hardest to not touch it.. it's coming up to 24 hours since last poke, and I think I have read every single lymph node post here on the forum..

How do I let this fear go? It's consuming me day and night.. why did I have to stumble across it? I didn't go looking for it! Will this node ever go away?? Do I have a valid logically reason to fear it's cancer?

I should probably add I'm 37 year old woman, don't smoke and don't drink, I avoid anything that increases my chance of cancer... including living it feels..

Help? And thanks

[M00nlight]

I manged to go 24 hours with out poking it.. but failed this morning.. 1 week 2 days and no change in size. Would it increase in such a short time if it was something bad?? I forgot to mention it is a posteria cervical node about a 3 finger widths away from the collar bone

[AHF]

Hi M00nlight! Sorry you're having a hard time. I know you said you've read alot on lymph nodes I have too. I have one under my collar bone that I've been able to feel for 10 months now. That's when I noticed it. It really scared me also. It's less than a centimeter though and my doctors tell me everything is fine. I also feel a softer one at the base of my neck too. Its softer I think? I don't feel anything simular on the other side but from what I've been able to read lymph nodes in the neck are the most common to feel and I think some are just close to the surface of the skin and you can feel them. They are little organs and not little empty sacks that fill. If something was really wrong with then I think it's really easy to detect because they get overwhelmed and swell up to the size of a quarter pretty quick. And your doctors immediately know things aren't right. There's a poll on these forums about neck lymph nodes where people talked about how they could feel theirs. Hope you feel better! I'll be around! it makes me feel better to talk about these things also

---------- Post added at 21:23 ---------- Previous post was at 21:20 ----------

Oh and here's that poll for you to read I hope it helps

http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=49912

[M00nlight]

Thanks! I have read that poll. it came up in one of my Google searches (dr Google is such an obession, I know it's bad but I look for people who have a good outcome and cling onto those ones!) and instantly made me feel a little better.

I think what bothers me is that's it hasn't always been there to that size. My dentist does a lymph node check of the head and neck, checks for any bumps in the mouth too and it wasn't there a few months ago.

I don't make a habit of looking for bumps because I know it will trigger anxiety.. I even struggle to do a breast check

Logic tells me it's a reactive lymph node, just wish it would stop reacting and go away!

[katniss]

I had two nodes last summer that were movable but hard. They stayed that's way for many months. I don't remember how long. I just happened to touch them recently and noticed that they have significantly gone down. Thank goodness! Many times our nodes will stay enlarged for many months even after the original illness is gone. BTW, mine were actually hard, not even squishy like yours. It was pretty scary.

Just stop touching it and it will go down. It may not disappear though. I have so many lymph nodes that I can feel in my neck. Many of which used to be larger before

[nivekc251]

I've had tonsillitis twice and mono once. My nodes got huge where you could see them through the skin. They never went back down to their original size. I saw a specialist he said they feel fine. They've been enlarged now for over 5 years so I really don't worry about them. With nodes I now say to myself if it doesn't go down in a month see a doc, and so far I haven't been back .

[AHF]

Hey, hope you're doing better with the anxiety over this! Yeah it can be tough with the "what if" questions but it'll get better I think everything's totally fine. They sound like totally normal lymph nodes. BTW if you are still worried there's no harm in stopping by the doctor they can explain it all very well for you!

Have a great day

[M00nlight]

I've been playing with them a bit today. I went through a what if they have grown more over night anxiety moment so feeling them actually calmed me. They don't seem as high and move even more. Suddenly the lower back aches and night sweats have gone too, totally my anxiety playing with my head. Anyone else seem to notice every single twinge and twitch and ache and think they are all some terminal illness?? I feel like I am so hyper aware of my body.

Noone in my circle knows my struggle with anxiety, I'm pretty good at faking it till I make it... I'd love to find a dr I could be myself with.

[Mav]

Sound normal, similar to what I have actually. I found mine 4 months ago, I do have an ENT appointment next week but it's a non-urgent referal and the doc seemed positive it was begnign feeling. If it felt serious I'd probaby have a diagnosis by now.

You're clearly just in a spiral at the moment, the best reassurance it from a doctors mouth so it doesn't hurt to get it checked out and for them to tell you it's nothing, which is more often than not the case.

[eeesh]

Honestly, try to relax about this. I can feel two either side of my jaw, both probably about a centimetre. Pretty big but always been that way. Then I can feel the same on my lower neck in about the same position you describe

Then I have 4 or 5 down each side of my groin that swelled up out of nowhere over 2 years ago. Still to this day have no idea why and it sent me into a panic! I've been to countless doctors and all are in agreements its nothing. Still get a fright from em every now and then but meh, they're there, and I'm not dying. If they were of concern docs would have spotted something by now!

So yeah, seems very common. nothing you can do about em. Just let em slide. From what you've described they seem far too small to be concerned about. If you're that concerned, see a doc but when they tell you all is fine let it go.