Panic mode all Day!

[MyNameIsTerry]

I therefore give everyone the weekend off from worrying and about this that and the other.
Just enjoy yourself doing what ever you want.
Chill. And that's an order. He he.

Yes, mistress

[Ange1]

I've just read this thread through and can identify with so much of what everyone says. Helps to know I'm not on my own so just wanted to send everyone a hug for the weekend xx

[Carnation]

It's a year today since I called 999, because I thought I was having a Heart Attack.
I was experiencing similar feelings before that, but this was the Big one.
I also joined this Forum shortly after and spent a good 3 months of agonizing and coming to terms with the diagnosis of Anxiety. I didn't understand it, and I was living in denial that I had something more serious wrong with me. Saying that, I actually felt like I was dying and if it wasn't for this Forum, I really don't know where I would be now.
Yes, I still have Anxiety, and my Life has changed dramatically. But, I have also made some great friends on here, I have changed my Life; hopefully for the better.
But, today, I must admit that I feel sort of strange knowing that this was the time of year that I hit rock bottom. My Anxiety is high at the moment, but this time I know what I am dealing with, and I will keep on fighting and living and appreciate Life.

[Sunflower2]

Carnation, I joined this forum just before you I think, and I'm very glad to have met you!

[Carnation]

Like wise Kimberley.

[MyNameIsTerry]

I think acceptance comes much easier when you talk to others and hear their stories about anxiety and depression. Things start to fit into place and you get to meet such a diverse crowd.

I first went to a walk-in group before joining here and it was a bit of a revelation really. I had CBT priort to this, and I had done a load of researching my condition, but listening to peoples stories helped it to slot it. It also gives you hope because you see others ahead of you in recovery and they can motivate you. You also see poor souls further behind in recovery and feel the need to help them and I think this helps you in return.

For many people, these places and group walk-ins are all you get. The NHS is woeful when it comes to mental health and as a treatment ends, you can end up disappearing in the system and all the charities are the only thing that stops a bad situation getting a lot worse when that happens.

I also like the fact places like NMP are international because its good to see what other countries do but also to speak to people from different cultures...and you find out that despite cultural difference, people are just people. Mental health issues don't care about borders or religion and people on here just get on with each other and help each other without any discrimination and I bet none of that ever enters their heads.

Carnation, it won't be far off, there's a card for just about everything thesedays!

[Carnation]

Well, as usual my Mother-n-law woke me at the crack of dawn and considering I don't go to bed until after 2am, I am averaging 4-5 hours sleep a night.
I've tried to go to bed earlier, but I just lie there wide awake and that's when the thought process happens and puts the Anxiety into top gear.
Despite the lack of sleep, I have decided to give myself a project and clear out the Shed. I want to turn into more of a Greenhouse as it has lots of windows and it will keep me occupied until the better weather gets here. (It seems a long time coming). Also it sort of gets me out of the house.
It's hard living with someone who has Dementia. My Mother-n-Law does not know what time of day it is, what day it is, where she is and so on.
She's totally unaware of what is going on around her and she seems quite content with her Life. She has no responsibilities and has everything done for her. It is just hard on the people that look after everything. She is disabled as well, so it's a double bubble. Still, have been doing it for 4 years now; even with Anxiety, but I do think that may have related to my illness. The Car Crash was the icing on the cake and looking after my Father with Parkinson's Disease was one of the hardest things I have had to experience in my Life. The duties still keep coming, as my Mum is practically Housebound now and my Partner is due for his Op for his Cancerous lump. So actually I am probably the fittest one out of the Family, which seems strange to me because I always feel so ill. Mentally of course.
Still, one good thing to report. My Muscle twitches seem to have gone altogether now. (Bet, as soon as I say that, they come back).

[MyNameIsTerry]

It's like buses Carnation, so hopefully you are due 3 amazing events in life to balance out the bad ones!

I don't envy you with all that, it must be draining. My gran had dementia and she went down hill pretty fast and died as it seemed to set in when she hit her eighties for some reason. She had to go into a home but it was when they had the mixed ones with psychiatric style patients so she would be ringing my dad in the night as she was afraid of being in there with people with those problems. It was a long time ago, but I can remember how worried he was. He is one of 13 siblings but she seemed to call on maily a couple of them. In some ways, perhaps not suffering for long was a mercy.

Do you get any help with your mum?

Muscle twitches seem to come when your anxiety is heightened. I can't say I've ever researched it, I just know I can get them to a lesser degree now on occasion when my anxiety worsens but it was much more regular & intense when I was really bad. I think its a stage thing really.

A greenhouse is a great idea! You are interested in gardening from what I recall so this will be a good project for you. The seeds are now back in the supermarkets and a lot of the spring plants are in so it gives you an excuse to get out and look at the kit you need. How about growing some veg, fruit & herbs? Then you can add it into your cooking and make it a healthy practice that way so that those pleasing times are brought into the kitchen to give you a boost. Sometimes linking hobbies up can be a good booster to mood.

[Carnation]

Yes, I was thinking that Terry. Quite keen on growing tomatoes and herbs.
I had a lot of adrenalin the last two days, so I have paved the back garden.

Anyway, I've had a terrible day. 2 Panic Attacks within 1 hour of each of them. One in a shop and the other in the Café. I controlled them the usual way with the breathing technique and luckily they did not get to the point where you feel like you are in the Heart Attack stage. I keep getting this sharp pain in my neck and my stupid Mind tells me that I have a blocked artery and I am about to die!!!!
I put a lot of my Anxiety at the moment down to the build up of going back to that Hospital again, which is Friday. And, the stupid Company that are assessing my Car Accident claim want to send me on a 2 hour Motorway journey to see a psychiatrist to assess my condition about my Fear of driving and Motorways. Can you believe they are called 'Health and Wellbeing' and they are making me do something that is the equivalent of putting my hand in to Fire!

I agree about the muscle twitches. They are definitely more prominent in the height of Anxiety and then take a while longer to disappear altogether. It's another symptom I can hopefully cross off my list.
I went to the Docs yesterday and apparently my blood pressure is perfect!!!!
Wow, some good news.
Terry, I must thank you for your advice and support on this thread, I normally feel like I am chatting to myself on here; which is something I do a lot anyway.

Although I have people around me, I do get lonely and it feels like I have made a friend. Please let me know if anything is troubling you and if I can help, I will.
I notice you are up quite early, are you going to bed earlier these days?

[MyNameIsTerry]

Tomatoes are pretty easy to grow. You can even get those hanging bag and they work pretty well. Herbs should be easy enough, you can put them in long trays and put them in your windows.

Sending someone to see someone that involves passing through the fear they are seeing them about...hmm...sounds about right! Why can't that be done over the phone or even Skype? Its not a physical exam so you don't need to be present. Think about people with agoraphobia, they get referred to a therapist who tells them to come to their practice! Pretty dumb really.

Friday is likely to be a big part of it. It will soon be over but try to learn from it too eg I had a bad event due to a patient but that didn't happen again.

Yeah, I had a BP check at an asthma check up about 6 months ago and it was fine. I was surprised given my anxiety is worse in the mornings and I'm surprised we aren't constantly elevated.

Thats ok, thats we are all on here for.

I know what you mean. I have my family yet I feel lonely too. Most of the time I will be on my own as my mates are long gone years ago and with not working you don't get much interaction, especially when your parents are retired as they tend to be more in front of the TV and prefer to watch as opposed to discuss stuff. Of course, you've made a friend! I'm sure you've made a few on here. Thanks for the offer, I'm sure you will help along the way but I will remember that offer!

I'm not earlier, I don't go bed until anywhere up to 1:45pm and get up 5 hours later. Its just how it slipped from getting up at 10am to this! Its been a big problem of mine but I'm attacking it at the moment. Its not that I can't sleep, I can sleep a lot more than 5 hours, but its part of my OCD in that its fighting me to stay up. I kind of feel a bit like an agoraphobic because most of the area is shut when I venture out.