What have you done today to make you feel proud??

[unsure_about_this]

On my 2nd day of my course, tutor put my goal in my book to ask a question. I am far too quiet, I have a disability I find it hard to communication because of my speech.

[Buster70]

After a really bad week and another night of nightmares and little sleep I put my daughter first and went to a car dealers to get her deal on a car , my heart was pounding and skipping beats my mind was racing and my breathing felt like it was going to stop but I didn't want to let her down or her to get ripped off , shut in an office with two car dealers I knew my daughter was out of her depth , I kept it together when my messed up brain was saying run get out , I got her good deal and even went back in and knocked more off the price , later I sold her old car , it was a tough day doing something that used to be so easy but my love for my daughters has to be stronger than this fake crap that's going on in my head . The missed heart beats Is a new one on me I'm hoping it doesnt last I have enough symptoms, being a fruitcake is exhausting

[fishman65]

Buster, I take my hat off to you. Anything to do with cars tends to be surrounded by machismo, of having to be seen to be manly and fearless. I find those situations very difficult with all the effort of appearing this way, so well done you in staying and seeing the task through. Your daughter is very lucky in having such a dedicated and selfless father, I hope she knows that

[Lola-Lee]

Well today I finally paid off my car,a big thing for me.

You are a great dad Buster.

[Buster70]

Ohh you guys it sounds a bit pathetic just dealing with an everyday thing but when your brain is trying to convince you you're about to drop dead it makes even a simple task a nightmare , I used to do work for hells angles , the outlaws , and local gangsters , how can your mind just change , I used to have balls now I've got tic tacs , I do wonder once that part has burnt out can it ever come back , or maybe I'm a better person for it .
Anywho thanks .

[Lola-Lee]

Hey Buster
Why not listen to ACDC's song Big Balls, I doubt whether you have tic tacs.Any man that does take care of his family like you do,has got big balls.

[MyNameIsTerry]

Buster's a comin...







Well done to you!!! It's damn hard when everything os telling you to run out of the door. It just proves we are stronger than we think and how wanting to do something, especially for others, drives us. I think it's easy for us to back out when it's just for us but when it's for others we push ourselves.

Are The Outlaws still going? They used to drink at The Highwayman, not too far from me, not sure these days or even if it's still there!!! I think they used to get in The Rigger too at one point.

For more sensitive souls here are some even bigger ones!!!

[pulisa]

Well done, Buster! I know how very hard it is to function "normally" in the face of the shite going on in your head. I had a similar experience yesterday with my daughter but stayed put and achieved a complicated mission. The more tired we are the worse it is. You do so much for your family and deserve some respite from all this.

[Magic]

Cleaned my manky bureau out. Binned loads of old folders, letters, glasses. old cups and saucers. You name it. allsorts. gotten real back ache now but glad that's over with. Was expecting a damp wall behind but it was clean as a whistle.

[Buster70]

Magic if I were living alone I'd be a hoarder by now , I let it pile up in my lockup and sheds until I near break my neck , then I have a good clear out it does feel good to clear junk you don't need or use and probably didn't even know you had , problem isn't I'm a junk magnet it's part of what I do for living , clean and tidy never lasts long with me .
Kind words pulisa , I do wonder how other people in long term stressful lives like yours ( I know you've really been through it ) shut down the dark thoughts when things get tough , today I had plans to go do some work and earn some much needed cash ,instead the morning was spent at the doctors with partner , the good plans for the day turn to why bother ? How do you stop those negative thoughts and carry on or do you just end up in the supermarket screaming and throwing fruit at shoppers ? I could really do with getting off the crazy train for a breather , take care .