PLEASE help! Do I have derealization? If not then what is it???

[Kateryna1234]

Hello everyone, let me start from the beginning in the shortest way possible so I can describe my symptoms and what happened.

Symptoms (best way I can describe without sounding general) :
Enlarged vision (as if I’m watching the world from a magnifying glass)
Ears popping
Anxious ( can’t tell if I’m anxious from the weird visual experiences I’m having or I’m having the weird visual experiences because I’m anxious )
I always have the “derealization” feeling but a mild feeling unless I start overthinking and it gets worse and I feel like im getting dizzy my vision gets worse

Here’s my story I always lived a normal life, occasional stress nothing abnormal I didn’t have a family member or friend pass away or anything that would cause traumatic stress. I am an occasional smoker of five years.
I got REALLY sick one week in December, 2017, and continued to go to work thinking it will go away but my cough got worse and worse so I went to the doctor and he told me I have Bronchitis. He prescribed me Levofloxacin (in the Levaquin family of antibiotics) ( I didn’t know how awful this drug was until I took it ). I took the dose my first night, along with Montekleust (not an antibiotic) and went to sleep. I woke up in the middle of the night for no reason feeling dizzy and extremely weird. I couldn’t fall back asleep so I thought I would distract myself from this awful feeling (which was anxiety but I wasn’t aware at the time) I started to watch a show to distract myself until I felt like I wasn’t in my own body, like it wasn’t me holding the phone. I can feel blood going through my body, it’s hard to swallow, I was confused and thought I was dying when in fact it was my very first panic/anxiety attack. I went to the hospital because I wasn’t sure what was going on with me, as soon as I arrived at the hospital I felt stupid for even going all my symptoms have passed I felt completely normal again. I waited three hours and left because the doctor didn’t come up to me yet and I felt better so I told myself why bother?
At 4PM later that day I felt the weird visual feelings coming back, and I started to get anxiety because the enlarged visual feeling was weird. The next three days were a nightmare, I had constant severe anxiety, trembling, and I was always scared of what I was feeling. I decided to stop taking my antibiotics, and as soon as I did I felt relief. My anxiety went away but the weird visual feelings stayed with me idk if it’s derealization. A week passed, and I still felt them. At that point I did a lot of googling and convinced myself my congestion is giving me anxiety so that’s why I have derealization. My nose was clogged, and my ears were popping for a month. I went to an ENT who gave me some medication and was completely useless when I described my visual problems all she told me was go to a eye doctor. Ugh.
But anyways, there are days where I barely feel the derealization WITH or WITHOUT anxiety, and there are days when it gets really bad and it gives me anxiety or anxiety makes my visual symptoms worse.
Idk what to do?
Is it anxiety that’s causing my weird visual feelings?
Is there another problem with me that’s causing this?
My ears are still popping sometimes is it from anxiety or do I have an ear problem that I’m aware of?

I go to work, I am happy, and everything seems fine MOST of the time. I try to tell myself this visual enlarged disturbance that goes on 24/7 from mild to severe sometimes isn’t a big deal I’m alive that’s what matters and I should be happy.
But why is it still here? It still brings me anxiety. I don’t want it there, and it’s bothering me not knowing why it’s happening and why I have it and what’s causing it.

---------- Post added at 00:32 ---------- Previous post was at 00:28 ----------

It bothers me to the point where I think about it everyday, because I experience it everyday. It’s been almost two months.

[ana]

I can't say for definite whether what you're experiencing is depersonalisation or vision problems, but I have experienced magnified or distorted vision, sensations of the floor 'not being down (?) enough' and various phenomena that have only ever happened during panic/anxiety attacks, thus making me realise that it it's just anxiety.

If you're an anxiety sufferer, this anxiety can manifest in a variety of ways, including what you've described.

[Kateryna1234]

I can't say for definite whether what you're experiencing is depersonalisation or vision problems, but I have experienced magnified or distorted vision, sensations of the floor 'not being down (?) enough' and various phenomena that have only ever happened during panic/anxiety attacks, thus making me realise that it it's just anxiety.

If you're an anxiety sufferer, this anxiety can manifest in a variety of ways, including what you've described.

Thank you for your input! It’s just a lot of discomfort and nobody should feel this way.
So you believe it’s just anxiety? And if I get rid of anxiety then it will go away?
Should I see a therapist or try to do this on my own since I do not have severe anxiety?

[ana]

I do believe it's just anxiety. In theory, if you lower your anxiety, DP should go away. I never experience it when I'm calm, but when I'm anxious instead. In fact, all my panic attacks manifest as depersonalisation/derealisation, which is really disturbing and uncomfortable.

In my opinion, seeing a doctor might help reassure you that all you suffer with is anxiety. Therapy gives you tools with which you can tackle the issue on your own and will prevent things from getting worse. Maybe you can see a therapist once and see what their assessment and opinion of you is? You can always decide to not see them again.

If you want my honest advice, see a doctor. I wish I'd done something about my anxiety when I first started noticing its symptoms. However, I was 13 at the time and didn't know any better, didn't understand what was happening to me. Now, 17 years later I'm struggling despite the therapy and the medication I'm on because anxiety has become such an integral part of my identity. Please, act now, and you may save yourself years of torment.

[Kateryna1234]

I do believe it's just anxiety. In theory, if you lower your anxiety, DP should go away. I never experience it when I'm calm, but when I'm anxious instead. In fact, all my panic attacks manifest as depersonalisation/derealisation, which is really disturbing and uncomfortable.

In my opinion, seeing a doctor might help reassure you that all you suffer with is anxiety. Therapy gives you tools with which you can tackle the issue on your own and will prevent things from getting worse. Maybe you can see a therapist once and see what their assessment and opinion of you is? You can always decide to not see them again.

If you want my honest advice, see a doctor. I wish I'd done something about my anxiety when I first started noticing its symptoms. However, I was 13 at the time and didn't know any better, didn't understand what was happening to me. Now, 17 years later I'm struggling despite the therapy and the medication I'm on because anxiety has become such an integral part of my identity. Please, act now, and you may save yourself years of torment.

Thank you so much, I will!

[ana]

No problem. I'm sorry if I've scared you by anything I've said as I certainly have no way of knowing if your anxiety is going to be as severe as mine or if, in fact, you need any therapy, but I just want to help other people and there's certainly no harm in talking to a medical professional about the symptoms you're experiencing.

Do keep us posted on how you're getting on.

[ChocolateButton]

Although you've been given some good advice already, I just wanted to reply cos I know what it's like to feel de-realisation as I had my first experience of it just recently, so I understand how scary it can be.

It does sound like you're anxious (perhaps even when you don't think you are, it could be lurking in the background giving you these strange feelings).

Bronchitis can make you feel pretty awful anyway, and if you're sick I think that can make the anxiety worse cos it's just another thing on top of it all, you know?

I'm not sure about your ears popping but it did occur to me that if you have bronchitis you could have congestion in your ears/throat as well as your lungs, and that could be the cause?

But I'd agree, see your doctor to try and get something to help your anxiety, that is what I did a few weeks ago and I'm now on medication that - although it doesn't take away all my anxiety yet - it certainly does help.

Best wishes

[Kateryna1234]

Thank you for replying!!!

You are right it’s probably lurking in the background, that’s why I may experience it still sometimes. So going to a therapist so it’s doesn’t get out of hand again would be the best option.

It did get better since the last time I wrote this post, I’m learning to cope with it and I understand derealization is just a symptom of anxiety. I’m just happy I don’t have it to the point of where I feel like I’m not in my body, that’s so scary!

I’m glad you’re feeling better and the medication is working for you?

This might be a personal question and you don’t have to respond ofcourse, but why do you have anxiety? And where did it come from initially?

---------- Post added at 01:36 ---------- Previous post was at 01:35 ----------

Although you've been given some good advice already, I just wanted to reply cos I know what it's like to feel de-realisation as I had my first experience of it just recently, so I understand how scary it can be.

It does sound like you're anxious (perhaps even when you don't think you are, it could be lurking in the background giving you these strange feelings).

Bronchitis can make you feel pretty awful anyway, and if you're sick I think that can make the anxiety worse cos it's just another thing on top of it all, you know?

I'm not sure about your ears popping but it did occur to me that if you have bronchitis you could have congestion in your ears/throat as well as your lungs, and that could be the cause?

But I'd agree, see your doctor to try and get something to help your anxiety, that is what I did a few weeks ago and I'm now on medication that - although it doesn't take away all my anxiety yet - it certainly does help.

Best wishes

Thank you for replying!!!

You are right it’s probably lurking in the background, that’s why I may experience it still sometimes. So going to a therapist so it’s doesn’t get out of hand again would be the best option.

It did get better since the last time I wrote this post, I’m learning to cope with it and I understand derealization is just a symptom of anxiety. I’m just happy I don’t have it to the point of where I feel like I’m not in my body, that’s so scary!

I’m glad you’re feeling better and the medication is working for you?

This might be a personal question and you don’t have to respond ofcourse, but why do you have anxiety? And where did it come from initially?

[ana]

Kateryna, was the question meant for me? I'll reply anyhow.

Why do I have anxiety? Well, it all started when I was very young. I lived through a civil war and my earliest memories are that of fear, running to the shelters, the sounds of fighting. Growing up, I was a fearful, but sociable and happy child, but when I lost two family members to cancer when I was 13, my mind started spiralling out of control and I started experiencing panic attacks. I was diagnosed with separation anxiety and a panic disorder at 15 and was put on medication. Since then, I've changed therapists and (many!) medications...

Currently, I'm on Venlafaxine, 150 mg and I believe the medication is making a difference. Also, I take 50 mg of Seroquel in the evenings to help me sleep and not wake up in panic in the middle of the night. I still, however, require Klonopin when I'm highly anxious and panicky.

I'm happy to hear you've been feeling better.