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O.C.D. Please post any messages here about Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD)
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  #1  
Old 10-10-10, 19:36
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Intrusive Thoughts

Hi everyone, I have suffered from anxiety for about 3months now due to a fainting episode at work (which tured out just to be a virus). Everytime I got a chest pain I thought I was having a heart attack and everytime I felt faint I thought I was going to die. I was very scared of death (always have been) thinking what's the point of doing this and that if we're all gnna die one day. Now for the past week ever since my Mum told me my Dad tried to commit suicide years ago I couldn't seem to get it out my head. Now I have thoughts of me taking pills but I know I would never do it. I'm a happy person and have a good life. My thoughts then turned to grabbing a nife and stabbing my Mum or harming someone at work. Can I just mention my Mum is the most important person in my life and I would NEVER hurt her. I always wondered and detested people who could harm another person. These thoughts have now gone but the suicide one's have come back. Now I have thoughts about strangling myself. Does anyone else have these thoughts? The more there in my head the more I feel it's real. I feel like I'm going mad. I'm so scared of being so out of control I'll do something stupid and not realise I'm doing it. I get scared being alone. I don't want to commit suicide and I know I'll never act on these thoughts but they're scaring alot. Please help anyone? xxx
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  #2  
Old 10-10-10, 22:39
ems43 ems43 is offline
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Re: Intrusive Thoughts

oh I;m so sorry you;re suffering these horrible thoughts. I also suffer from GAD and have had a lot of intrusive thoughts in the past, very similar to yours ( eg, that I would harm someone). The most important thing ( though much easier said than done) is to remember they are just thoughts and thoughts CANNOT make you do things. If you think about winning the lottery will it happen ( try it!). These thoughts are so scary and they will often happen about things we care about the most, eg, many new mums who love there babies more than anything will have thoughts of harming them. However, they key thing to remember is that noone with OCD has EVER acted on these thoughts. I am saying this with some conviction as someone wh both suffers from anxiety and works in mental health ( I know there is some ironey!).

These thoughts feed on your fear of them.... they are just thoughts as most people have odd thoughts everyday, but to us sensitive types we believe they mean something about the kind of person that we are/ what we may do. So we become afriad of them, which is almost like putting a red flag on and bam, the thoughts keep comign back again and again. Everytime it can feel more like it is going to happen. what kind of things are you doing to try and stop it happening ( eg, when i feared i would harm my mum i would give her a hug and told her i loved her). although these things help relief our anxiety in the short term, in the long term they make us believe that the feared catastrophe did not happen because of what we did ( neutralising, eg for me giving mum a hug) when in actual fact it will NEVER happen.

i really feel for you as i know how painful these thoughts are, I also had fears that I would self harm and would have strong images of myself hitting my head etc on walls, again it never happened. the best advice i can give right now is try and accept the thoughts and when they pop up, rather than trying to rationalise with them or argue against them, just try and let them go and move your attention to soemthign else. your mind will not likie you doing that, and it may caue more thoughts at first, but eventually your mind will habituate to the thought and you will be able to see that they are just thoughts. i know this is so easy to say and not so easy to do, but if you want to message me then feel free xxx take care and i promise you this will get better xx
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Old 11-10-10, 01:10
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Re: Intrusive Thoughts

This sounds like OCD and there are other forums that can offer specific help with this very distressing illness. See the thread that Nicola has put on with suggestions for the other forums.

Anna xx
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  #4  
Old 11-10-10, 12:32
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Re: Intrusive Thoughts

Thank you both for your reply. It really is horrible. The thoughts of me doing harm to others seem to have gone but now I'm so scared I'll perform suicide, it's unreal. I am getting so distressed about it. I live with parents and I hear my Mum leaving for work around 6.30am and I panic because I know I will be alone. The more I think about it the more real it seems. I have only had these thoughts for about a week. Before this I was constatnly scared about dieing and thinking about it all the time and now it seems just cause I hear the word suicide my brain has completely turned around in its thinking. Ems did you ever get suicidal thoughts? I know when I think about this too much I start to feel wierd and de-tached from the world which is my anxiety kicking in. I'm feeling unhappy at the moment but the thoughts are getting me down making me worry I'll end up depressed. I'm so glad I'm not the only one with these thoughts xxx
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Old 11-10-10, 12:33
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Re: Intrusive Thoughts

I ment to say I'm not feeling unhappy
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  #6  
Old 11-10-10, 12:52
ems43 ems43 is offline
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Re: Intrusive Thoughts

yes i also had fears that i would commit suicide and sometimes would have quite graphic images of myself hanging and things... was horrible so i really do feel for you. it;s interestign what you said that the anxiety had shifted from health anxiety to then worry about suicide. when i had CBT before this was one of the biggest things that i learnt, that your anxiety will shift from one area to another and my therapist taught me to say " arghh, heres another one of those worries again, the focus has just changed". it is hard and did really help the more i practiced. are you having CBT/ counselling? i would also def have a look on the stuck on the doorway website where there will be lots of people with these kind of fears xxx
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  #7  
Old 14-10-10, 09:45
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Re: Intrusive Thoughts

Thanks for writting back Ems. I'm not having any CBT or counselling as the waiting lists are so long and I've only been having these thoughts for about two weeks now. This week started of better for me but today is another bad day. My thoughts just seem so real I'm so scared I'll just act impulsively. It's a vicious circle. Once the thoughts enter my head first thing in the morning I get scared and start not feeling myself (which I know is the anxiety kicking in) when I feel like this it makes me feel even more like I'll act on my thoughts even though deep down I know I wont. I'm also scared I'm starting to believe them. On Monday however, I just wasn't thinking about stuff and I starting feeling so much better and could feel my old self creep back. So this gives me hope and makes me realise these are infact just thoughts because as soon as they're out of my head for a while I'm fine and the fear is gone. I don't understand however how only two weeks ago I was so scared of death and now it doesn't seem to be as bad. I'm still scared just not in the panicy way I was before. Thanks for listening xxx
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Old 14-10-10, 16:21
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Re: Intrusive Thoughts

hi ive just joined i to suffer from intrusive thoughts . mainly thinking might hurt somebody i love i know i would not but the thoughts are so real be gratefull for some advice thanks gambo
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  #9  
Old 17-10-10, 14:15
ems43 ems43 is offline
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Re: Intrusive Thoughts

hi smile, hope things are a bit better for you? perhaps you could get a book called overcomign ocd which talks a lot about intrusive thoughts. intrusive thoughts are common in a lot of anxiety disorders so i am not saying you def have OCD but the content is likely suited ot how you feel at the moment. also have a look on the stuck in a doorway website xx
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  #10  
Old 24-10-10, 00:30
flubby flubby is offline
 
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Re: Intrusive Thoughts

Hi Smile

I hope you're feeling a bit better... If it helps I've recently been feeling exactly the same - and coming in and reading your post actually made me feel relieved that it's not just me having these horrible thoughts!

I feel so wound up and have had a persistent thought in the last week about me stabbing my boyf! It scares the absolute sh*t out of me because I love him so much and he is one of the most important people in my life (so supportive of what I'm going through too).

As already mentioned, the thing I keep trying to do is remember that it is just a thought - it's not real, it doesn't mean it is going to happen and it's not like I've done anything else like this in the past. Just knowing that it is a horrible thought and feeling so bad about it proves you're a normal, sane, sensitive person
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