Originally Posted by
Bill
Hi there,
There's too much there for me to reply easily in one go so I hope you don't mind but I'll copy it and fit replies in between to try and simplify it for you to try and explain things.
Looking back on my life (im 24) I was always anxious, but it never was more than a minor annoyance. For the last few years I would worry about what if im in some situation and I have to use the bathroom but cant because its not possible. Like being on a bus or something.
There's a simple solution to this - Make sure you go before you go out and don't drink before you go out or while you're out unless you know there will be a time and place you can pay a call. That will reassure your mind. Also though, ask yourself, have you ever got caught short when out? And also, say to yourself you could get off a bus anytime if needed.
Our minds are full of "what if's" but you can usually make a plan to sort them otherwise they'll end up stopping you doing anything.
This last November, I had a sleepless night and as I tried to sleep I had some form of anxiety/panic attack that this was it, the end, I would never sleep again. I have no idea why I had this attack come over me.
Something would have been troubling you that night. I would guess it would probably have been worries stopping you from sleeping. Not being able to sleep would have caused you stress and that's why you panicked.
Ever since then, ive had insomnia that comes and goes, some initial depression, sensorimotor OCD and pretty bad generalized anxiety.
Once you suffer a panic, your mind will be afraid of it occurring again so you'll start thinking "what if" and then this fear will stop you sleeping. The way to tackle it would be to make sure you feel Really tired before you go to bed and also do something relaxing and enjoyable before you retire so you clear your mind and body of anxious thoughts and feelings.
The OCD mess sucks as im pretty much always aware of my breathing which is uncomfortable. Some call it manual breathing. Its been said it could be a coping mechanism to regain complete control over some part of my life since I feel helpless with the anxiety.
I think the panics have made you aware of your breathing so you can't stop thinking about it. The only way to overcome OCD is to resist doing what it makes you feel compelled to do so you have to force yourself to ignore your breathing and that way also you won't cause yourself panics.
I recently let the thoughts get the best of me and started to feel real panic while driving and once when trying to go to sleep. I was able to wrestle down the anxiety when driving but it got me good the other night. Its like a continual battle to not let the thoughts overwhelm me.
Never try to fight thoughts because then it does feel like a continual battle. You have to learn how to think these thoughts without tensing up to them by like they say, keeping calm under pressure. When you react to them, you tense up and the tension causes stress and panic. Keeping relaxed by not ignoring or not allowing the thoughts to worry you will defeat them.
At this point, I suppose I should seek professional help. I really, really, dont want to get drugged up or anything. Just feel like talking it out my help. Maybe CBT.
Meds can help ease symptoms but CBT would be your best option of showing you how to cope with these thoughts and feelings.
Now I get an endless stream of "what ifs", and its like a wrestling match in my mind. I win most of the time but its a struggle and sometimes it just overwhelms me like it did the other night. I just want to go back to a time when I was free (before november) of all this. Im single and its really truly frightening when I feel that horrible feeling of an anxiety attack coming on. I get scared that im loosing my mind but I know im not... the rational logical part of me knows its just anxiety.
When anxiety controls our lives, it fills us with doubts creating What If's. It will become a wrestling match if you agree with anxiety to wrestle it. Anxiety is defeated when you refuse battle it by ignoring what it entices you with. That's how you become free again. Anxiety creates frightening thoughts. That's how it controls you. Tell it that it can frighten you with them as much as it likes but you'll not take any notice as they're just fears which aren't real. Your rational mind is telling you the truth but you need to really believe in it and in doing so you'll believe in yourself.
Just sucks thats theres no "STOP" button no timeout to relax and take a breath. Thats what scares me the most, that ill never escape this anxiety and so far it seems like a self fulfilling prophecy. Lets say if I were to live to 75, thats at least another 50 years. How can I live like this for 50 years??? That alone is a stressful thought. In fact, thinking about anything in the future is scary.
That's anxiety again trying to control you by creating lots of what if's and fear. Who says you need to live like this for the next 50 years? Anxiety is lying to you trying to believe it. It'll only happen if you let it but you won't because you know it's just fear being created by anxiety because it's trying to control your life.
I need to defeat this thing or beat it down to a point where it is not my every thought. Im just so sick of it honestly and although ive been sleeping better, it seems that as soon as one fear or "anxious thought" goes away another worse one takes its place.
If you're sick of it's tricks, tell it to shut up and keep telling it you're going to do what You want regardless of the worries, doubts and fear it creates. If you're standing at the beginning of a bridge that looks wobbly filling you with doubts and fear, you can either ignore the doubts and start crossing it or stand there in fear and never moving. You don't need to give in to it because you want to do what You want regardless.
Remember, whatever anxiety creates, don't give it any attention because it only survives if you keep fuelling it by allowing it to frighten you. Tell it. you're the boss, not it.
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