Hi,
first up my story. I'm a 39 yr old male. Married with kids. Good job, all was well in my world.
I've always been a bit of a hypochondriac - I suffer from GERD and occassionally I'll worry if it'll lead to oesaphagus cancer or if instead of me feeling my GERD symptoms perhaps I have stomach cancer........
I had a gastroscopy a few years ago and had the all clear and up until earlier this year that was enough to allay my fears.
In April this year an old friend of mine was admitted to hospital. He had been ill for a while but didn't go to a Dr. It turned out he had stomach cancer that had spread and within 4 wks of being admitted to hospital he was dead.
I saw him lying in the hospital bed, he was a shadow of his former self, in and out of conciousness, on so much morphine for the pain he didn't know I was in the room. It was terrible to watch and I broke down and cried just watching my mate lay there. Such a terrible way to die.
This affected me - at first I made sure to go and get that twinge in my bladder checked out. An ultrasound later and all was good and I was fine. I went to the funeral, sunk a few beers for him and said goodbye.
Then....
I got food poisoning from the food that had been left all day at his funeral. As my friend had stomach cancer I had (stupidly) been looking this up. Was there blood in my poop? I thought there was. TMI but I started going through my poop (I wash my hands and used anti-bac!). I was convinced there was blood in there.
I took pics and showed them to my GP
Drs said it was likely some stomach lining due to the violent stomach upset from food poisoning. I was given some medication and everything cleared up. I was OK again.
Later I had pins and needles in my hands and feet/legs. Dr Google says spinal cancer.......... it was an RSI injury from work and also related to my posture. I visited a Chiropractor who put me right.
During all this tim (3 months) although I had been anxious about my symptoms, apart from the worry and some sleepless nights I hadn't exhibited any real symptoms of anxiety. The reassurance from Drs was enough and my symptoms did indeed pass in time.
Then in Oct this year (so a couple of months ago) I started to have to get up in the night to poop. Always sloppy/soft bowel movements. I didn't think a great deal of it though I did notice I was losing a little bit of weight and that I would skip the odd meal due to a lack of appetite or I was feeling a bit nauseous and didn't want to finish a meal. Just a tummy bug I figured.
Friday the 9th Nov I took my family out for a meal just after a chiropractic visit. I couldn't finish my meal as I became very agitated and nauseous.
Next day I was ill in the morning. Nauseous and no appetite. Again, thinking a tummy bug I put it to the back of my mind. Later that day I felt great and seeing as a client at work had sent me a crate of beers as a thank you I had a few (6) beers and ate some crappy food (chocolate and crisps) whilst playing a video game. All was good. I went to bed.
Just after midnight I woke up with terrible stomach cramps. I dashed to the bathroom and had terrible sloppy BMs one an hour all night for about 6 hours. No sleep and felt awful.
Next day I felt a little better and managed to eat a little (not much) and that night it was the same and for a few days afterwards. Bad stomach cramps and diarrehoa mutiple times throughout the night. In the day I was naesous, tired and no appetite. Some days I barely ate at all. In about 10 days I lost 5kgs and couldn't go to work. Some days I would be hit by a crippling fatigue and had to sleep.
During this time I had visited my Drs. Had blood and stool tests but nothing showed up - no infection, blood levels were OK, no inflammation - nothing. But I was losing weight like crazy and could barely eat a thing. At one point my poop turned black and I convinced myself i had late stage stomach cancer (like my friend) and that I was going to die. I wrote a goodbye note for my wife and for both of my daughters. I rushed to see the emergency Dr at my GP. I had a tearful phone call to my wife. I thought it was the end. My GP referred me to a gastro, but that was 4 weeks away! THey took a new stool sample but didn't check for blood, just inflammation! In the end a silver lining - I remembered I had been taking iron tablets and discovered online that they turn your poop black - after a day of stopping taking them my poop was normal colour again.
After about 10 days I began to feel better. I started being able to eat as the nasuea subsided. I was still losing a little bit of weight but it had subsided for the most part. I was still getting stomach cramps but instead of waking up in the middle of the night I would instead be woken up early (about 6am) for a BM and then another around 7-8am (sometimes a third).
I decided to visit a private gastorenterologist as my GP wasn't being helpful at all and I couldn't wait for 4 weeks.
The private Dr was excellent. He listened, it's amazing as my GPs are always clock watching. The private gastro told me I could be referred to him as a NHS patient and he would carry a Colonscopy as there is an history of bowel cancer in my family (gran and 2 uncles had bowel cancer, mum has had polyps removed twice)
Colonscopy was fine - moviprep not that bad. Procedure went well. No tumours or polyps. Took some tissue samples to check for IBD but Dr said all was visually well.
This was follwed a week later by a gastroscopy - this I was worried about because of my friend's stomach cancer. I was convinced I either had that or stomach ulcers.
Gastroscopy was fine too. Dr said I had an Hiatus Hernia (explains the GERD) and a Schatzki ring (can be mildly beneficial appratently) but nothing else.
I always have a dread of Pancreatic cancer (bizarrely ever since Patrick Swayze died from it) , but I have no jaundice, no diabetes, my poop is brown not pale and usually sinks. It does sometimes float but I eat a lot of fatty food to get my calories up and it sinks after a min or so. It's just a fear. I know this.
I have an MRI on my lower bowel in Jan 2018 but I'm not concerned about that. I don't know why but I'd kind of hung my hat on a stomach issue. So I should be OK.
HOWEVER. In the week between the Colonscopy and the Gastroscopy I felt OK. On some days I even felt fantastic. No nausea on any of those days and on a few of them I even had an appetite. I managed to put on 0.4kg in that week so after the Gastroscopy I ate like an horse on the way home and went to bed thinking all was good.
That was 3 days ago and ever since the morning after the Gastroscopy I have felt awful. The nausea is back with a vengeance and I have 0 appetite. I have some fatigue - nothing crippling fatigue wise but I feel physically tired and haven't slept well either.
I keep a food diary and this forces me to eat as I count calories (aim is 2500 per day) - this has been incredibly difficult due to the nausea.
So - my fears have been unfounded. I do not have bowel cancer (fear is from family history, I'm fine tho) I do not have stomach cancer (fear from my firend's death) I do not have oesphagus cancer (fear from my GERD)
So - my fears have no grounding and unlike a few weeks ago I have now had this confirmed medically. I believe my Dr and I even watched the video screen during the colonscopy. My bowels are squeaky clean!
So why did my nausea, lack of appetite and fatigue return after they left me alone for a few days?
I put my symptoms down to a mix of IBS - stomach cramps, bowel habits changed, abdomen pains) (the initial bout was poss food poisoning) and health anxiety (nausea, appetite loss, fatigue).
I know my body doesn't have cancer - this was my massive fear. But why won't my anxiety go away?
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Originally Posted by bananaman
