Convinced I'm dying

[PrincessPanic89]

I'm convinced I've got cancer. I don't know which one specifically. My HA is mostly to do with cancer and I can't seem to escape it. Everywhere I look there's a newspaper article, a tv programme or advert that talks about people getting cancer and people dying of it. My brain is convinced I have got cancer or if I haven't got it yet, I will get it soon. I feel like I'm one of those people who won't be around to see her daughter grow up. I have symptoms (constant nausea, pains in my shoulder, changing bowel habits) which I'm certain are linked to cancer. I've been to the dr and they've tested me for various things but the tests came back clear. I was also tested for ovarian cancer which came back clear so I can count that one out but there's so many other kinds I could have. I always check for lumps and weird symptoms but then I read that some cancers don't even have any symptoms and by the time Drs catch it, it's too far advanced. I wish I didn't think like this, I'm absolutely terrified. I'm not scared of dying, I'm scared of getting cancer and dying slowly and dying young. I have a 7 year old which doesn't help my fears because my biggest fear after getting cancer is leaving her behind. I don't want to go to CBT because I don't think it would work for me. Is anyone else like me?

[littlemissworry.x]

im exactly the same, always worrying and obsessing that i have cancer, at the mo its breast cancer as i have a weird rash on my breast thats been there a few weeks, everything is always worst case senario and im so scared of leaving my daughter.. its horrable x

[Beckie4567]

I'm the same its horrible.hang in there here if u wana chat x

[PrincessPanic89]

Thanks for your replies. I keep imagining scenarios where I have to tell my little girl that I'm going to die, sitting in a doctor's room while they're telling me I've only got weeks left to live... To me it's like I'm looking into the future, not that I'm just imagining things if that makes sense

[Petesy]

Well I'm on the same boat I've just posted a thread about penile cancer so i feel your fear...I'm terrified at present tbh..on verge of a panic attack! But i can totally relate princess, littlemissworry and beckie.

[Fishmanpa]

Please seriously consider therapy and/or meds. I always read about the fear of leaving family and loved ones but in reality, if you're living in constant fear and logged onto the internet and forums all hours of the day and night, they've already lost you.

I truly hope you find a way out of your darkness.

Positive thoughts

[Mrschurchill]

Please seriously consider therapy and/or meds. I always read about the fear of leaving family and loved ones but in reality, if you're living in constant fear and logged onto the internet and forums all hours of the day and night, they've already lost you.

Such a good way to look at it!

[Momaof2]

Cbt is good I've just finished mine and I was doing it from home which was more convenient given I used to have panick attacks in unknown places ..but anyways if all your test came back clear there's nothing to worry about just sign out and take your daughter to the park or help her doing her homework life is short and she won't be small forever you have to live your life too

[cattia]

I am just the same. Cancer is my biggest fear, but really I think that's because I perceive it as the thing most likely to result in my death, so my real fear is death itself. I have three young children and I also imagine scenarios where I will die and leave them. It's so upsetting and nobody can tell you for sure that it's never going to happen because there are no assurances in life. I find myself thinking if I can just make it until my youngest it 18 then at least they won't need me so much so it wouldn't matter so much if I died, but the truth is I am 39 and I still rely on my own mum now. I have had CBT in the past as well as regular counselling. I have also been on meds which helped a lot with the symptoms of anxiety, but none of these things has helped me to overcome my fear of death, so because of that my anxiety keeps coming back no matter what I do to treat it. I wish I knew the answer, but please know you are not alone with these thoughts. There is also little point for me in having loads of tests, as every time I get the all clear for a type of cancer, I just move on to another type.