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Success Stories Please post your successes here to motivate others and aid with their recovery. It is always nice to see people doing so well so come back and tell us how you are.
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Old 11-04-12, 22:23
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NoPoet NoPoet is offline
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CBT is starting to work

Hi all, well after being a member of NMP since February 2009 I am FINALLY starting to make genuine headway against my illness. I was diagnosed with GAD and euthymia (the residual effects of depression, without clinical depression being present) by my therapist who I am seeing through Anxiety UK.

There have been some extremely tough times during the therapy. I began to lose my sense of identity; I found the anxiety being replaced by depression and, gradually, the depression was replaced by deep, vicious fear. I found myself overwhelmed by the sheer prevalence of negative thoughts and behaviour that have basically become a part of me.

I was on the verge of splitting up with my girlfriend; I had commitments that were starting to lapse; I moaned and complained all the time, and suffered very badly from a menacing sense of fear.

The other night I picked up a KFC on my way home from work and was driving home, listening to my "Friday Songs" (music I listen to when I'm leaving work for some days off), humming happily to myself, when I suddenly felt sick with fear and sadness. But you know what? I realise that this was caused by a hidden, unconscious thought that flitted past so quick I almost missed it. Then later I caught another similar thought. I've never noticed this type of thought before. But now I know they're there and I know when I've had one.

For the past 6 weeks, I've been listening to self-help mp3s which I made. Gradually they have helped me build confidence and hope. Now that I am aware WHY I suddenly feel like crap - because I have a hidden, unconscious thought that I am going to die - I understand WHY I have been so prone to sadness, fear, anxiety and negativity; WHY I can be so doomy-and-gloomy; WHY I am not cured after 3 years of medication and therapy.

I've found myself being more positive. More confident with my girlfriend. Less likely to accept negative automatic thoughts. I am actively challenging my fear of death, something that was impossible just 2 weeks ago. I find myself unaccountably feeling bright and free at times. Now I've started doing stuff I should have done months ago. I'm even considering looking for a new job.

I cannot emphasise enough how much my therapist and Anxiety UK have helped me. But I also cannot emphasise how much the self-help mp3s have been. Now, for the FIRST time in my life, I am able to reassure myself WITHOUT having to rely on others. I am not beset by terrifying, depressing thoughts, because I know accept that I am not scared of things, I am scared of how I will react to them.

There is along, long way to go - my therapist is telling me to think of full recovery coming in the next year or two rather than in a few weeks and I have heard that for anxiety disorders, you need to have one session of therapy for every year of your life (by that estimate I'll need a total of 32 sessions!) - but I am learning to support myself and I am learning to be rather proud of who I am and what I've done.

Well I hope this inspires some people. Just goes to show that with the right support and with the determination to do the hard work, you CAN start getting better. I am genuinely starting to believe that I CAN make a permanent recovery without relapse.

Let's see what happens.
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Old 12-04-12, 02:20
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monika monika is offline
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Re: CBT is starting to work

That is great to here. Hope things just keep getting better and better!
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