Sarcoma Cancer/General Cancer worries

[ToasterOvens]

You're looking for stuff to worry about. The muscles/fat in my stomach feels like marbles sometimes.

[LouiseAndy]

You're looking for stuff to worry about. The muscles/fat in my stomach feels like marbles sometimes.

You're right! It's like my mind moves from one issues to another. I shouldn't look for links in everything. Like there propbaly would have something pop up in one of those tests! And the stomach pain could be from the stress (of always worrying) mix in with other stomach issues I have!

Thank you so. So much for replying. I really mean it. I went for a long drive this evening and tried some therapy worksheets to clear my mind and think things out. Trying to be more reasonable then singing my last rights!

[LouiseAndy]

So today even tho I had a lot of physical and mental exhaustion. As well as some old and reoccurring pain-I've manged to stay in good mindset? Putting everything done to just some commen issue and nothing that serious! Like for example the place where I found the lump in my stomach had also had pain but I haven't freaked out? The knee thing for example is now just more annoying then worrying! Same with the rest also.

Like all the mouth/ear pain (now on both sides) is propbaly just some wisdom teeth or something? I had been to the dentist a few times before Christmas and surely he would have noticed something!

I think my body has been so filled with anxiety that last night when I was trying to sleep my mind started worrying why my heart was so calm while trying to sleep as I've started to put everything down to non serious issues

Like I have been feeling kinda off today like when I stood up I felt kinda faith but I am coming up to my period and such! Like so many girls my age I am lacing in iron!

[Confetti]

Unless you want to start asking for tests every week and have a doc feel every lump and contour, you need to accept there's only so much you can do to keep watch. You're doing plenty, exhausting work, everything has been explored on the matter for a good while. It's fine to be hyper vigilant but you gotta leave it be once it's established that a particular condition is not developing, your fear will ensure it's embedded in the background of your mind, if anything untoward is sensed, the cogs will turn. Cancer can come to any body on this planet, it's hideous truth, it is important to acknowledge this and get to know your body but standing guard as determinedly as if each headache represents a tumour and such, it makes you unwell and you have life to live at the moment.

[LouiseAndy]

Unless you want to start asking for tests every week and have a doc feel every lump and contour, you need to accept there's only so much you can do to keep watch. You're doing plenty, exhausting work, everything has been explored on the matter for a good while. It's fine to be hyper vigilant but you gotta leave it be once it's established that a particular condition is not developing, your fear will ensure it's embedded in the background of your mind, if anything untoward is sensed, the cogs will turn. Cancer can come to any body on this planet, it's hideous truth, it is important to acknowledge this and get to know your body but standing guard as determinedly as if each headache represents a tumour and such, it makes you unwell and you have life to live at the moment.

Thank you so much for taking the time to reply. This is truly a great view on things. You're right. I'm wasting whatever time I have here on worrying about things that could possible happen rather than doing stuff for the postive with myself.

I was just about to update this point to say, that the pain was far less today. The less I didn't think about it at work the less it was there. I've had lots of tests in the last few months, some showing minor issues but nothing that serious. I've had more tests then someone who's been told horrible sister news at this stage.

Like I had a ct of my abdomin. That would have shown a lot of different issues. I've had countless blood tests, a ultrasound-tests I propbaly can't think to list. I'm health phyical with some little issues. I need to work better in my mental health and moving forward. I'm alright as if right now. That what matters. Not checking for lumps or bumps and thinking so deeply into every single pain.

Sorry for the long reply--it's also mixed with a update? Thank you so much.

---------- Post added at 22:08 ---------- Previous post was at 21:36 ----------

P.S I just thought of this and thought it would be good to add as a joke. Just because I'm a one in a million girl doesn't mean I'll have a one in a million illness!

[LouiseAndy]

I haven't been on this for 2 days and I'm going to really push myself for a longer break!

Yet its been a mixed back. I have a lot of pain (not unbearable) in my stomach (mainly on the left hand side, the area as I thought or did whatever found the lump) I'm trying to reassure myself it's propbaly ibs or something! As anything that awful would have been seen on the ultrasound in February and the CT in March!

I've also been sleep a bit better tho- a bit to much. I've taken two naps the last two days and that made me slightly nervous as I'm someone who does that so I'm. My mind it went blah blah with all this serious stuff. Yet it's propbaly just the fact I'm not so high up in anixety that I can calm down enough and not fear (another fear) dying in my sleep bit mintue.

I still have some leg/back pain before I can carry on a lot better with it! Saying to myself that nah I wouldn't be able to do half the shit I do if it was something that horrible.

Anyway--goodbye for now!

[LouiseAndy]

Update:

So having horrible stomach pains at the moment (they think I have IBS but waiting on tests till good knows when) so my fear of sarcoma due to the intense pain and bloating/that hard lump that I found.

If it's not sarcoma it's some other cancer or tumor. Like liver, pancreas etc. I just feel so lost.

---------- Post added at 22:52 ---------- Previous post was at 21:38 ----------

Like I sat down and tried to do all of my therapy sheets but nothing seemed to work. Things feel so awful. The pain in my back is even worse.

I suppose its time at this I wish I could remind myself it's all anixety really pushing the point. It all feels so painful especially on the left side where I thought I found said lump. I just feel so horrible. I tried talking to my Mam calmly about this and she just snapped at me. I don't mean to be annoying or overwhelming. I know she's felt with a lot with me but I can't cope.

[LouiseAndy]

Well, reading over this was something!

I think my panic really took over yesterday. I've settled down a bit now. Last night before bed I can't getting pains in my best which set me off worse but this morning I refused to give into those same thoughts of panic again. It clearly isn't helping anything! I think what puts me off most is where the pain is, how intense it is and how long it lasts. I also get a strange full feel in my upper stomach sometimes.

My stomach did hurt a lot today and still does but it's good to remind myself that IBS hurts everyone differently. I went on a very long walk today and spent a lot of time in the nice sunshine to try and keep myself in a good mind set.

[elle95]

So.... It seems I have fallen off the "I won't post here again!" bus.

Today after reading 4 different horrible cases of Sarcoma Cancer happening to people in my country all around my age has put me into a panic.

I have pain in pelvis, all along my leg for the last few weeks. I've put this down to sitting strangely a lot or just a pulled muscle. Like it's mainly in my right leg. Like whenever I walk the muscle feels rather strained like it's being pulled. The area feels tense to touch. I also generally get pain mainly in that knee but also in the right. The area where my the top of my leg and hip meets is the worst pain-its all pain. I'm to scared to go look for lumps or anything! I also have lots of lower back pain. Lots of other things like head/ears/nose-just all nothing I wasn't that worried about going over board!

Like I also have this like lump on my left wrist, I go through stages about worrying about it and not worrying about it. I meant to bring it up to the Doctor a few times but never did. So of course my mind is making me freak out if it's serious or not and I've missed my chance with that..like so many other things. I often notice that had going numb a lot and I did have a lot of pain in that wrist before.

I've had lots of blood tests and I CT scan I think might have covered my pelvis area?

I'm rather upset with myself for starting this again! Like now I'm worried I have like some type of rare cancer somewhere and it's being missed. Like a tumor laying on something or tucked in to area between my jaw or ear. I have seen some people mention these areas and tried to keep myself calm but I'm really starting to freak out.

That the reason my head feels heavy is propably just sinus or hay-fever not the horrible off chance it might be cancer spreading--my mind always jumps to cancer spreading at any odd feeling.

I can't get the money to see a doctor right now and I dont know if I really wanna go back with yet another issue that I propably don't have.

P. S the pain especially in my knee is way worse at night while some pain is worst during periods of standing or movement? And there's time when everything feels bad. I can't sleep right now. I'm just falling into another worry. I was really trying my best. I can't afford to go to the doctor and I have no one to ask for a loan to go. Everyone is sick of me worrying all the time so I feel so alone.

---------- Post added at 02:18 ---------- Previous post was at 01:00 ----------

So basically I would love to be told, I'm just being dramatic and far to aware for my own good. Like I am managing to stop myself from feeling around for lumps...but I feel like that's part of me being to scared to look

How are you doing Louise ? have you been feeling better? I'm having and I'm afraid it could be a sarcoma too. I can't stop thinkjng about it.

[LouiseAndy]

How are you doing Louise ? have you been feeling better? I'm having and I'm afraid it could be a sarcoma too. I can't stop thinkjng about it. Warning: this could trigger Not too long ago I read about a 25 year old young woman who was a hypochindriac in her teens and when she turned 25 she was diagnosed with sarcoma that had already spread and was terminal. I'm scared it is happening to me right now I'm 22 it's in the age range of a sarcoma :(

Tbh I've been doing much better later! I haven't thought about this post in awhile. I find I can't keep reading about those things. A guy who I knew had a type of Sarcoma and sadly past away. I don't think it's good to mention triggers on posts though? Reading over that unsettled me slightly. I think it's good to read some of the wonderful replays I got though! It really helped me out.