Please Help Me With This- Roundworm

[NervUs]

About 2 years ago, we had our deck ripped out and discovered a raccoon latrine under one section. Raccoons carry a specific roundworm that can be very destructive if eggs hatch in the human body and larvae migrates around. There are very few documented cases, but it is known to be underreported to the CDC. MOst of the victims have been children and very young children, b/c they put dirt in their mouth. It is believed you need to eat a fairly large amount of poop or poopy soil. The eggs basically are viable forever.

Because I had a 2 year old at the time, we cleaned the poop and the entire area under the deck as recommended by the CDC-- the only thing that kills the eggs is heat or boiling water, so we used a propane torch in the area (it was in gravel and soil, against the foundation of the house, so no real fire hazard). I have forced everyone to avoid the area ever since, but my husband over time threw some stuff in there-- including a fire pit. It was never in the same spot when the poop was there, but it was in the spot that we had cleaned of poop.

We decided to finally refinish and clean up the area a couple weekends ago. I weeded a bit, torched again, and cleaned up the fire pit by pouring boiling water over it several times and even torching it parts of it; I can't entirely remember.

The eggs are microscopic so there is no way of telling if I did a good job or got all the eggs, any of the times I did clean up. And therein lies the problem.

My husband took the firepit out onto the grass the other day, and I have been plagued with thoughts of contamination ever since. Our child is now 4, still runs around and picks things off the ground, and she also has friends over. If there are eggs there, I am just so worried one of them could accidentally get something in the mouth. I do realize there would only be trace elements most likely, like particles.

My husband thinks that we did what the cdc said and that we cleaned with heat and that the grass is fine and we should just use it as normal.

I simply can't believe that the cleaning I did was enough, but there is a part of me that thinks that is anxiety talking. I don't know if I should rip out the grass where the fire pit is and re-sod, or if I will never be satisfied of cleanliness because giving in once again will just raise more contamination fears. I have asked everyone to stay off the grass in the back until I make a decision about whether to clean it more or not. If I didn't have the 4 year old, I would be okay with using the grass.

Please, please help me work through this.

[AMomentofClarity]

Youre talking about resodding your yard because it was touched by a fire pit which touched a general area where there were raccoon droppings (albeit cleaned and sanitized) 2 years ago. All of this because of an obscure roundworm which rarely causes illness in humans.

Yes, I’d say that’s a perfect illustration of anxiety. Most people would’ve cleaned up the droppings and never thought about it again.

[MyNameIsTerry]

Write down a problem statement. In one column write what your anxiety is telling you is evidence of the problem. Then right down the advice from the CDC in another column and what you did to satisfy each of those recommendations. That's your evidence. Then write a conclusion, a re frame.

If you rip the area out that's avoidance. It's a compulsion to mitigate the fear. But here's the thing, you are worried about microscopic eggs so even if you rip all that out how can you satisfy the perfectionism, the All-or-nothing thinking that demands every single egg is accounted for when you could end up scattering one of those eggs onto a piece of earth that you aren't replacing.

If you see phil6's thread on the OCD board you would see how this plagues him daily to the point of throwing many items away to buy new ones. He's not alone in those behaviours on the OCD board either.

It's like how a bleach or disinfectant may only kill 99.9% of germs. But isn't that enough? Do we need to be sure of the 0.1%? Or do we accept it as negligible and move on?

[NervUs]

I am still in avoidance mode, Terry. I have been super busy and have not had time to do what you suggested.

Of course, there is a big hunk of me that understands I did A LOT to clean up and that it is probably unreasonable to worry about eggs being all over the yard.

But, something is still holding me back.

Will try tomorrow to really confront this one and make a decision about how to proceed-- even if it is just to walk all over the grass....

Gads.

[HelloPanda23]

I am still in avoidance mode, Terry. I have been super busy and have not had time to do what you suggested.

Of course, there is a big hunk of me that understands I did A LOT to clean up and that it is probably unreasonable to worry about eggs being all over the yard.

But, something is still holding me back.

Will try tomorrow to really confront this one and make a decision about how to proceed-- even if it is just to walk all over the grass....

Gads.

Since you as well, have difficulty with anxiety issues, I'll say what's been bothering me. You're experienced with this fear as well, and so I was swimming in my pool, chlorinated, and cleaned, along with checked weekly. Not only this, but the water is also salt water. So what happend was I snorted in a bit of water about 9 days ago, and the past 3-4 days were super stressful for me. Barely ate, had so much stress, thought I was dying of the brain eating amobea, and etc. Starting yesterday though, I kept applying this logic that it's impossible for me to have this stupid disease, and it's been getting better. As good as I am rn, this fear is still holding me back, regardless of the fact that there is absolutely no chance for me to get it through a properly treated swimming pool. I think time will help me pass this fear, and the same thing for you. Please give it time, and confront the fear if you haven't already.

[NervUs]

I am coming back to this thread for a last plea for help. I HAVE to get this solved within 24 hours. I have not completed my course with this one yet, still been avoiding.

OK, here's the deal...My family is away, and I have been trying to do the last minute cleanup related to this roundworm mess.

Backstory- raccoons pooped, I cleaned it per CDC guidelines, raccoon roundworm eggs live forever and you can't see them, can't know if I got them all (most raccoons have them in my area), they are very destructive if they hatch inside you. Husband placed a possibly contaminated firepit (placed in the dirt AFTER the deep clean), then put it on the grass one night last month. It is still there because of my fear of letting anyone walk in that spot.

THen new development, there were a couple pieces of deck board that I wrapped up to remove. Instead of having the trash haulers traipse all over the area, I put it in my driveway. NOw it seems to me some of the dirt on the wood might have seeped out, but I am not sure; it could have been there before. I just went out to throw some boiling water there, which is how you kill the eggs.

Anyway....I am still lacking the courage to remove the firepit and, now, the driveway!

I know this is a contamination OCD thing most likely....but....it is grounded in grain of truth-- there simply was raccoon poop, plus a cascade of touching and retouching the area and scattering of that dirt all over the damned place.

MY brain is stuck here....Maybe I got all the eggs the first time, maybe I didn't.
The positive interpretation isn't really more compelling than the negative interpretation.

Maybe the grains that are scattered are unlikely to be ingested by anybody, maybe not. Again, the positive interpretation is as easy to believe as the negative (that my kid or one of her friends could get some in the mouth somehow).

Maybe these eggs are all over the environment anyway and don't really pose much threat, since people and animals probably walk in it all the time and track trace amounts around; maybe not.

EVerytime I think of just removing the firepit, I can't do it. And now I have dirt in my driveway (and even though I poured the boiling water, it just doesn't seem possible that it is safe out there for my kids).

They are coming home tomorrow night, and I need to have done it.

Can anyone walk through this with me?

Would anyone else be scared?

As you read, does this legitimately seem like OCD, or like there is some reason behind it?

I am not one of those people who can't see the absurdity of my anxiety, and how I propel it. BUt, this situations legit has me stumped. Please help talk me through it. I never get a lot of replies, but help!

[AMomentofClarity]

.but....it is grounded in grain of truth--

First off, this is what every OCD sufferer believes, or they wouldn’t do the things they do. Your fears don’t make it any more realistic.

Secondly, as you acknowledge, if this roundworm was this easy to contract, everyone would be sick with it all the time.

Lastly, if it’s as common in your area as you think, it’s unavoidable anyway. It could be anywhere....parks, playgrounds, any public place and there’s nothing you can do.

The best thing you can do is practice exposure therapy...move the thing off the grass and clean up your driveway. 3 weeks later you all will be fine and you’ll be able to move on.

[NervUs]

I am starting to relax about this and think the dirt in the driveway isn't from the deck boards at all, but then it just feels wrong!

My brain wants this one to stay alive and I am linking it to my children's safety- so very hard to avoid what the fear is telling me is true.