Lonliness is killing me

[30somethingMan]

I have no GF, or Job and never have been in a relationship. I have no friends, and people I used to know never contact me...in short, I'm at the end of my rope....I've been on Sertraline for 3 weeks and feel really anxious and numb. I cannot remember the last time someone even gave me a hug. I'm so ashamed of myself and my situation. Sometimes I really hate myself.

[Lynne123]

Lonliness is the absolute pits. You have my utmost sympathy. I feel the same as you do, although I have a job (but have been off sick for months and not one colleague has attempted to get in touch to see how I am). I could be in a crowded room and still feel lonely. I've not seen or spoken to anyone since boxing day and like you I feel I'm reaching the end of my tether.

Sending you a cyber hug from one lonely person to another.

[Angelai]

Oh, honey, the last thing you need is to feel ashamed! You didn't choose to feel this way, please don't hate yourself.

I'm also on sertraline, it's been just over a year (this time!) and it does take a few weeks to settle down. You'll be seeing your doc again next week? Stick with it for a while yet, if things don't improve after a month or two your doc may increase the dose (don't worry, that doesn't mean you've failed).

This site has been really helpful for me, just knowing I'm not alone makes a difference.



Angel x

[Dawn2]

You will never be completly alone whilst you are involved with NMP. Unfortunatlly lonliness seams to go hand in hand with depression. My thoughts are with you.But you have made the first step in over comming your lonliness by joining NMP.
We are there for you

[tom1]

Hey 30somethingMan, I think I know how you might feel. I am in a similar situation myself (also on Sertraline) and I've never had a GF and not much in the way of friends. I know one or two people here and there, but they really aren't actual 'friends'.

I am a student at university, and even though you'd think with all the people there I am surrounded by, surely I would be able to mix and make great friends and not feel lonely? Well the sad truth is, like Lynne has said, I can be in a crowded room and feel completely alone.

The good thing about coming here is, it can make you feel like you aren't quite as alone as you think you are - well in terms of the way you feel. I like coming here because we're all very similar and it's interesting to know you aren't alone in the universe. Good therapy if you ask me.

Anyway, hope you feel better soon.

[Bill]

I never had a g/f until I was in my twenties and even then it wasn't until I met my wife at nearer 30 that I got physically close which wasn't a nice experience due to her mental illness so I soon stopped but stayed......but that's another story

Anyway, something that Tom says....

I like coming here because we're all very similar

We can be in a crowd of people or even have the company of just one individual but we can still feel very alone unless we feel the crowd or individual "understands us" and our anxiety. Of course there are relationships that work perfectly well even though the partner can't understand their other halfs anxiety because where there is true love, there is normally kindness, caring, compassion, comfort and support which I feel are the qualities we need from another to feel secure.

However, one very important thing to remember is that anxiety is something we suffer from but it doesn't make us "who we are". Another person doesn't say to themselves "Oh, I couldn't love him/her because they suffer from anxiety" because to them our anxiety is just a part of us just as someone suffering with a broken leg or having multicoloured hair!!!

It's not a persons size, their looks or eccentricities that matter, it's their personality that counts.

Looking at it from another angle....what creates a person who suffers from anxiety? An anxiety sufferer is often shy, a worrier who always thinks about what others are thinking which makes them caring, sensitive which makes them feel empathy towards others suffering and gentle because to hurt another causes hurt to themselves.....so tell me....who wouldn't want a person like that???

You need to "forget" your anxiety as being an impediment but instead as being a "virtue" that people will truly admire in you. Once you keep reminding yourself of this and start contacting and meeting the opposite sex, they'll prove to you that your new belief of yourself is true by giving you the love you deserve.

One other point to remember is that you are single and so you're actually "free". The only thing that prevents you from finding happiness is your own false belief of yourself which others won't see. Give others a chance by letting them in and allowing them to prove to you who they feel you Really are by simply being YOU when you talk to them.

The world is your oyster. Free yourself from your cage because the door is actually open for you. All you need do is step through your hidden door and out into the wide world to let people meet you. Your cage is just created by a lack of self-belief when in reality, unlike me, you're actually "free" and people are out there are just waiting for you to show yourself to them! Don't grow old living in regret by allowing your false belief of yourself to keep you caged. You're worth Much more to "someone" out there who is waiting for you to find them who will understand you!

[p_prod_uk]

I have no GF, or Job and never have been in a relationship. I have no friends, and people I used to know never contact me...in short, I'm at the end of my rope....I've been on Sertraline for 3 weeks and feel really anxious and numb. I cannot remember the last time someone even gave me a hug. I'm so ashamed of myself and my situation. Sometimes I really hate myself.

Hi

Just wanted to say I too have felt the same as you and i know it is not nice at all. I gnerally feel better in that respect these days but still have days where i feel like i could empty a room in a second!

I just want to say 'hi' and wanted to send you as most of us on this site have probably felt and feel the same way as you are.

Keep fighting through it and good luck with your medication.
If you ever want to PM me, feel free.

x

[belle]

Hi there..
I've always said this.....You don't have to be on your own to feel lonely. I was in a relationship for quite a few years and i would spend day upon day crying because i felt so alone. I would sit upstairs, my ex would sit downstairs, he didn't understand my situation and quite frankly didn't care to even try and understand, and that loneliness is awful.

Now i am alone...all day....all night...everyday...i do still feel lonely (Christmas/New Year was awful), but i can accept that easier than when i was with someone.

If you ever feel down, you know you have people here thati'' chat with you

x

[Ryan]

Why not try a dating agency, I've never used one myself but they don't seem to have the stigma they used to have and it could be pretty helpful for your situation!

Maybe try meeting people online!

Phone up some old friends and ask if they want to go for a drink or a meal!

Hang in their matie!

[fairyfloss]

hi there
i am new to this sight but i would just like to say that you have took the 1st step to overcome your loneliness,by joining NMP i am sure you will make lots of friends xx