HELP - I cant trust what i see because i dont know if it is real or not?

[JustBenn]

I have anxiety and in the past i have been in fear of getting schitzophrenia.


I cant trust (believe) in what i see.

for example i see a fly fliying around my face then suddenly i get a strange "what if" its not real.

And the only way i know for sure is to kill it right infront of me,
I dont like to kill things but i had to do this because i think i am imgaining it or seeing things that are not there


The reasen for all of this is. somtimes at night with the lights on, i see a fly flying, i follow it with my head then it just disapears someware right infront of me.

Which ALLWAYS leaves me terrofied and confused and axnious because i keep questioning myself and guessing

like

was it real?
Where did it go? - where is it?
I should have catched it
Am i seeing things
It looked so real - it must have been a real fly
Why does it have to be me
Im soo scared
I cant find it anywhere
Im insane/ Mental
Yes it was real/ No it isnt real

I get all of these thoughts in my head.

I even got a tourch to go searching for the fly because again i dont know if its real or not.


But what i do know is that i have Anxiety and a massive fear of Schitzophrenia


Is this normal aswell in Anxiety

Has anyone ever had this expirence

I would love to hear your stories

Thank You

[linworth]

Hi,

Pls dont worry, I had exactly the same, an irrational fear i had sczhoperina (cant even spell it) I used to go to my doctors and ask if i had it, she completely reassured me and said if i was asking, then i didnt, you wouldnt know if you had, you wouldnt be questioning your thoughts, it does go, i had it for months, then started antidepressants and it faded gradually, i now how intense and frightening it is at the time, believe me, its like a torture thinking it, but remember if you are thinking it, you dont have it. I have been free of those thoughts for years. Are you getting any help or medication? take care xxxx

[Anxious_gal]

hmm the thing will flys are they can easily disappear, fly off to somewhere else.
if you have a cat you'll notice the cat can see it too
just an irrational fear of imaging things.
its almost like we need sometime to be anxious over.
do you just have the fear when it comes to flies?
if you have a camera or a video camera you cold record the fly to show your self it is real and no your not going crazy

[JustBenn]

Hi there

Thanks you answering - your answer really helped me

No im not taking any medication and never had
I am getting the couselling from my Phychothrepist and talk to them about my problems.

Again thanks

[JustBenn]

To mishel

Not just flies other things like, fear or hearing things because, I somtimes hear my name being called even when people are around but havent called me.

Which allso leaves me questioning myself

hope this bit of info helped

[linworth]

HI,

Yes, i had same sort of thoughts, as your anxiety reduces (which it will) they will fade, your therapist will help with this, they are just irrational thoughts caused by our anxiety, they are not real, hope you feel better soon, like i said i have lead a completely normal life for the last five years, with barely a thought about my fear of mental illness, in fact i have even laughed at myself sometimes and cant believe i used to think that, you will be same soon, lynne xxx

[linworth]

just wanted to add, it is not a laughing matter at the time, it is awful, but i just wanted to get across that it will go promise x

[JustBenn]

Hello

Thank You sooo much for your kind and very helpfull comments.

Yeah anxiety fears do come and go, for me is every 1 week atleast
so i will be working on this with my phycothrepist.

My anxiety started when i was 14 years old and now im turning 17

hopefully i can have it gone by Christmas 2010 because that would be a great present x

[Bill]

As Lynne says, all your thoughts are based on fear which then makes you worry causing you to analyse all your thoughts. Once we start dwelling, our panic builds until we become so anxious that we then seek reassurance because we feel unable to reassure ourselves.

Seeking reassurance becomes a cycle because once we feel reassured about one worry, another will surface because our fear still exists and then we start the cycle again of dwelling, analysing, panicking and seeking reassurance again.

What is actually happening is that we look for a "quick fix" to make the anxious symptoms disappear but these "quick fixes" never last because we are still sensitive to our fear.

Imagine a rollarcoaster. The peaks are high anxiety. The troughs are when we've been reassured. However, because the fear remains, we quickly keep peaking and troughing as the sensitivity to our fear is still there in the background.

The way round it is to allow yourself to feel your fear without seeking reassurance. For instance, when someone suffering from OCD thinks of a fearful thought, they will repeat whatever they were doing to quickly alleviate their anxious feelings but as soon as they go to do something else, another fearful thought based on their fear will re-surface making them have to perform another repeat ritual. The cycle becomes neverending because the rollarcoaster of high anxiety and immediate relief keeps repeating because their fear still exists which they are highly sensitive to.

If on the other hand we allow ourselves to experience our anxiety without seeking ressurance, the anxious feelings will gradually lower on their own so that by the next time a fearful thought surfaces you have then become less sensitive to it because you have then reassured yourself that it was safe to ignore and not perform a ritual.

In your case I feel you cannot let go of dwelling on your fear and thoughts created by it so that you cannot resist analysing every worrying thought. What I feel you need to do is train yourself to allow yourself to think these thoughts but not to dwell on them and one way that would help you achieve this is by turning your attention to other things immediately you think these thoughts so that your mind is kept occupied away from them. However, you also need to learn to say to yourself these are "just thoughts" created by your fear and build more self-belief in yourself so that you can then dismiss the thoughts as just worries which have no truth in them.

Also as I often suggest, if you can find a hobby you really enjoy it will help your mind focus away from fears because once you stop analysing and dwelling on these thoughts, they will eventually disappear because at present you're keeping your fear and anxiety alive by feeding it by not letting go or by enjoying yourself doing other things.

[Louise2009]

Hiya,

Please be reassured that if you did have schizophrenia, you would not be worrying whether you have it or not. You would almost certainly be sure that there is nothing wrong with you. My cousin has suffered with this so I know a little about it.

x