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Thread: HAVE I MADE A COMPLETE FOOL OF MYSELF

  1. #1
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    HAVE I MADE A COMPLETE FOOL OF MYSELF

    After a very unpleasant period of employment, I stood up to my boss last Monday asking her not to speak to me in the manner that she does as I found it unfair and unecessary. (I never usually stand up for myself, preferring not to for peace of mind - but had just had enough of being treated like a doormat). The result was probably one of the most unplesant experiences of my life. She let rip at me, calling me unprofessional etc etc. I ended up resigning!

    My husband was really proud of me for sticking up for myself but I am (as usual) looking at this from a negative point of view and the whole experience has really knocked my self esteem.

    A couple of days later I secured another position with one of the country largest providers of its kind via an agency.

    When I received the contract my new employer required a reference from my most recent employer - OH NO!!!! I contacted the agency in a bit a panicky state confirming that it was highly unlikely that my most recent employer would provide a favourable reference. He told me not to worry and said that he would speak to my new employer confirming that my previous employer had taken my resignation quite personally.

    All has been sorted and I have told that everything is OK but guess what................ I can't believe that everything is going to be OK. I'm convinced my previous employer will give my a poor reference, I'm convinced my new employer will think crikey what have we employed here and and I am convinced that I a made an absolute fool of myslef with the agency.

    I am starting my new job on Monday and am absolutely terrified before I even start.




  2. #2
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    Good luck for monday you will be great!
    A big WOW and wel ldone for standing up for your self.
    These power happy bosses need bringing back down to earth!

    Be proud of yourself.

    Hay x

  3. #3
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    Fool.....no way!!!

    Well done Caroline, it sounds to me as if you have stood up to a bully. I think your self esteem should have had a bit of a boost!!

    In the cold light of day it is easy to look back and think "Oh crikes" but it is done now. Whilst references are important, most employers are able to discuss things with you and if you are open and honest about it then I'm sure that will be looked at favourably. Do you have other referees that can support you?

    Again well done Caroline

    Iain

    Laissez les bon temp roulez

  4. #4
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    Thanks Hay I will try!

  5. #5
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    Hi Caroline,
    Good for you,sticking up for yourself,not always easy I know.
    I am always anxious when there are any changes in my life,but Im getting better at handling them. Starting a new job is a big change and I think most people are nervous whether they admit it or not. You are stronger than you think or you wouldnt have spoke up to your boss would you.?
    Everything WILL BE OK. Good luck with the new job.
    Take care
    julie x

  6. #6
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    Thanks Iain.

    Can you believe i am sitting here crying because I feel supported by your replys.

    I can't at the moment see this as an increase in my self esteem, just that I should not have stood up for myself.

    I do have another referee who I have spoken to and has said the same as you that my previous employer was a bully.

    I do however take on board both your comments and Hays and I will throughout the day try to build on these and rationally confirm with myself that I am not in thw rong here, what I did was absolutely right.

    Thankyou

  7. #7
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    Julie, thanks also for your reply. I am feeling such a huge sense of relief already by having somebody to talk to who UNDERSTANDS.

    Thanks

  8. #8
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    {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Caroline}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

    Laissez les bon temp roulez

  9. #9
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    Just had a thought.
    If it was me or someone else on nmp writing your post what would you say to them? I say this because I found it easy to answer you, but if it was me that this had happened to then I would probably feel the same as you.Know what I mean?
    julie x

  10. #10
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    That is actually a very interesting comment Julie. I have a friend who suffers similarly and i can ALWAYS make her feel better but never myself!!!

    Carolne X

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