Help! Reassurance,Obsessive thinking,ruminating, catastrophising

[positivegirly]

Guys I’m back and struggling again. I can’t believe this is happening to me again, I’m think I’m worse than I have ever been and i feel like I won’t ever be able to be happy or enjoy anything anymore. I have developed obsessive thinking, ruminating and catastrophising thoughts. My mind won’t switch off! I have had a stressful few weeks at work and this is what it has resulted in. I was doing so well before this and now it’s all ruined and I feel like I can’t get away from my own mind. I can’t sleep, my appetite is rubbish and I feel like I’m loosing myself. I’m trying to stay strong and trying so hard not to let it worry my husband and my family. I don’t want them to worry about me. They are so understanding and I know they only want the best for me but I feel even more awful that I’m putting them through all the worry. Im trying so hard to get better, iv been to the GP, I’m back on medication I was previously taking and iv booked a therapy session to hopefully help me. Anyone else awake? I’m just so frightened (in the early hours especially 😔 ) nobody to talk to, just me and my thoughts 😔

[bulan]

It's good to hear you're on the right track with the medication and therapy! And I'm sorry you're dealing with these thoughts. When I have anxiety, it's often in the wee hours of the morning when no one else is awake that I feel most frightened and alone. I don't know if it helps, but if you're feeling desperate to get out of a rut and no one else is around, how about starting to read through some of the anxiety resources here on this website? Or if you prefer seeing a human face, how about checking out anxiety self-help resources on YouTube?

[positivegirly]

Thanks for your reply,I appreciate it so much. Nighttime is the worst for me as I’m alone with my thoughts, with no other distraction my mind just goes into overdrive with obsessive worrying, going over and over, round and round and nothing gets rid of it. I try to sleep but It’s never for long before I’m back to being tortured with worst case scenario thoughts again. I feel like shaking my husband awake sometimes just to have someone to talk to, to reassure me but I know that’s not right, plus I don’t want to worry him anymore than he already is. I feel so rubbish at the moment, I’m really miserable and feeling like I don’t know what to do. I’m dreading my husband going back to work on Thursday, I will be on my own all day, again just me and my thoughts together 😔

---------- Post added at 07:53 ---------- Previous post was at 06:12 ----------

Still wide awake, I feel my body wants to sleep but my mind won’t let it rest. This is a nightmare, I wander from bed to sofa through the night, it’s truly awful to be alone with my mind. How will I ever stop feeling like this?? I’m worried il be stuck like this forever, I can’t stand it, nobody understands although they try, I get on everyone’s nerves when I seek constant reassurance and go over and over things with them, they just tell me not to worry, I think it’s because they are fed up with me. They see things differently to me. I’m scared that nobody can help me and il never get better.

[Danielle1995]

I know exactly how you feel I have thoughts that I keep going over again and again in my head I too was on medication for it over a year ago came off them and was fine then 3 weeks ago I had to go on them again as it all came back like you it was because of stress I had to be signed off work for a week to help me deal with it my family have been amazing but I understand what you mean when you say you don't want to worry them I have been on my tablets for about a month now and the thoughts are still there but they are slowly going I would suggest making sure you find time for yourself, don't be afraid of the fear of the thoughts because that's what it feeds on if it knows your scared they will carry on, try to laugh when they come into your head because you know they are not true night time is the worst because you know you cant go anywhere to escape it but it promise you it will get easier

[positivegirly]

I honestly really do appreciate your reply, I’m off work this week suppose to be enjoying it...dreading going back on Monday. Iv been lucky this week to have my husband home for a few days and he does distract me from my thoughts but even then I still get those thoughts and I can see the worry in his face when he can see I’m suffering. I hate it, I hate what it does to me and my family. I’m also exhausted from no sleep, I cannot relax at all and today I feel sick which I think might be the medication. I’m so lucky I’m off work, I don’t know how I would cope going in at the moment. Hubby goes back to work tomorrow & im dreading being on my own 😔

[Phuzella]

Try mindfulness meditation

[positivegirly]

Thank you for your reply, I have never tried it but I will look into it for sure. I’m currently laying in bed wide awake into night 4, I’m so scared I’m making myself ill, why can’t I control this? My body is so tired but my mind won’t let it sleep, each time I feel sleepy I start to drift off then an intrusive thought pops right into my head and I’m awake again, I can’t do this anymore 😔 i feel so low. The obsessive thoughts are worse at night but today iv been awful, I went out for most of the day and tried to distract myself but all day long I have had those obsessive thoughts and it’s like although I’m walking around and people are talking and laughing I am not part of it, I can’t follow or join in the conversations, I feel I’m trapped inside my own little world and everyone else is happy on the outside of it but I’m miserable and frightened. I have my first therapy appointment coming up this weekend but I’m doubting already that it will help me, im really really scared it won’t help and il be stuck feeling like this forever 😔

[Danielle1995]

I do know how you feel completely I have intrusive thoughts too and it was ruining my social life to the point I didn't feel like I deserved to be around anyone. It takes time after about a month ive only just started coping with it, I find what helps me is talking to myself and keep saying these are thoughts there is no action to them and never will be the reason I am having these thoughts is because I am fearing them, as soon as you stop fearing them they slowly disappear because they have nothing to feed off. Good luck on your session but try not to be scared keep thinking of the positives and tell yourself I will not be scared because this is going to help me if your brain knows your scared it will reject everything positive that comes your way and find a reason for you not to be happy

[positivegirly]

So this will be another night of no sleep, I cannot believe how long iv been awake, I just can’t do it, I start to get sleepy then nod off then it’s like an alarm goes off in my mind to wake me up with an intrusive thought. My body must be crying out for sleep but I literally cannot drift off and stay asleep.How will I cope next week at work on no sleep?!

[Phuzella]

Maybe look on YouTube for a guided meditation? It takes a while to get into it but give it a try.
Mindfulness is about concentrating on your breathing and when the thoughts come into your head, just letting them go. It takes practise, sometimes a lot of practice but it does help.