coping with heart disease in the family....worried but trying to be sensable

[gothic_rose]

I have HA mainly focusing on heart attacks, angina, CHD and blood clots.

I first suffered at a young age after my uncle died of a heart attack in his sleep. I did nt really understand what had happened (genetic heart valve defect- he was also severely physically disabled) and I started to get chest pains thinking I was going to die too. I suffered with panic attacks for about 2 years.

I also suffered HA about 4 years ago over something else non heart related. I did have an actual medical problem I got very worried about leading to me being pretty mentally unwell for a while and had I a breakdown. However once my physical health improved my HA went away.

Last year it came back and is again about the heart because I get severe and constant episodes of chest pain.I use various talking therapies and anxiety workshops to help and in recent months was making progress with controlling the panic attacks. My chest pain is apparently due to a combination of anxiety and costochondritis but I have developed a panic disorder which I was trying to overcome.

Until now....

On Saturday my father (aged 65) suffered a massive heart attack. It was very serious resulting in cardiac arrest 4 times which he was successfully revived from each time. Turns out he has heart disease. !00% blockage in the left artery, 60% blockage in the right. His specialist is blaming the blockages on 40 years of heavy smoking combined with "raised but not excessively high cholesterol. 1 stent put in immediately during the heart attack to clear the worst blockage, but because he was still complaining of chest pain yesterday, after an echo, drs decided on a second stent too. He is now pain free, feeling well and ready to come home thank God.

Im so angry that this has happened to him, shell-shocked and confused and scared for him and his future. When he turned 65 his dr gave him a medical including heart risk assessment checks. Other then him being an ex very heavy smoker and advancing age my dad had no other risk factors. Cholesterol at the time was ok, bp was good, no concerns over his diet or weight, no family history no other illnesses. He even had his aorta ultrasounded. He came back with a score of minimal risk.

He has never experienced angina.

I know its pointless to be angry but Im struggling to get my head around this as is he... I know I know smoking...I get it....but to go from being declared fit and healthy a year ago to this???

On top of this my mother is a wreak...she witnessed him flatline twice and now faces the lions share of helping him to rehabilitate although my sister and I will of course help. Im trying to be there for her emotionally and with regards to practical help as well as be there for my dad any way I can be.....at the same time whilst coping with heart related HA which of course has quadrupled now knowing my own risk of a heart attack has shot up now having a close relative with heart disease. My sister being a good decade older then me and considered obese has been advised to have bp checks and cholesterol monitering.... as Im under 40 I have nt... should I?? Or is this a bad idea considering my HA? Is my risk of developing CHD or having a heart attack really that significant now?

I have nt slept since saturday mainly through the worry over my dad. But I cant deny my anxiety is being a problem too....my bp is a bit high at the moment (stress..it does come down after several readings), Im having chest pains of all types and varieties pretty much everywhere, arm tightness, neck spasms, jaw pain, that horrible overwhelming sense of dread. and Ive had i panic attack.... Im trying very hard to be useful to my family and not get silly over this and make this horrible situation all about me....but Im kinda floundering in the dark and feel a bit like a headless chicken searching for its eggs.

Any support or words of encouragement would be amazing. Thank you

[Fishmanpa]

Sorry to hear about your Dad and I'm glad he's recovering.

Certainly there are reasons and not all can be detected. You're aware of my situation I'm sure. I had no signs or symptoms prior to my 1st heart attack. In fact, I was only 47, extremely fit, worked out several times a week (but I was a smoker and had cholesterol/triglyceride issues). The week before my 1st heart attack and triple bypass I did an 8 hour strenuous hike up and down a mountain! My 2nd heart attack came 5 years later. Again, no warning signs.

Recovery means lifestyle changes (diet and exercise), monitoring by the doctors and some good fortune as well.

All you can do is be supportive. You can't change the past nor predict the future so enjoy the here and now. Be thankful he's still with you and nurture positives instead of dwelling on negatives.

Positive thoughts

[WiredIncorrectly]

I've come to realise that the body is hard working machine. Much like the engine of a car. It runs daily, without fail, for however long it is we're alive.

Just like a car, parts of the body get tired, or malfunction. This is either due to wear and tear, or genetic issues that are passed down. Modern medicine is so good today that people who have heart attacks can go onto to live relatively normal lives (perfectly normal lives if caught early with no damage).

Your Dad didn't expect his heart attack to happen, and I'm sure he didn't let the worry that it "might" happen stop him from enjoying life right? 65 is a good age where I'm from, and to make it that far with otherwise good health is an achievement in todays world. My Dad got to 57.

Don't let this bother you. If you don't have any symptoms of heart problems don't worry about having a heart attack. Enjoy life. Tell yourself "I'm fine".

We have Cancer in our DNA. So far every direct descendant has died from it. My Dad, his Dad, and his Dad's Dad. Oh, and 4 years ago I had it. The chances of me dying from Cancer is about 80%. Do I worry about it? Not a chance.

This is my time in life to achieve something before I die. For example, I am making contributions to an open source Linux project that was set up by myself and a few others in order to ensure that people in the UK (and USA) can easily remain private, and secure, when browsing online. It's tough, I don't get paid for it, and I work long hours ... but to me that is an achievement. The project drives me. The thought of not having as long on this earth as others makes me invest every inch of dedication I have into it.

I may die at 47, or 57, like those in my family have. Or, I might walk outside and get mugged and stabbed. Or hit by a car. Or contract a deadly illness from my sons school. The list is endless. Why worry? The future isn't here yet and I can't see into it. I'm not going to worry about what I a) don't know and b) can not control.

I don't even think about Cancer. If I make it through this project (still got a good 6 months work on the line at least), and I live to see another project, I will be happy. Those are my milestones.

My advice to you is to just look forward. Don't look back. Don't ponder on the what ifs. Enjoy this short existence we have on this earth. Everything that lives must too die. This is the law of physics.

One of the biggest things a person can do in the Western world is to understand and accept death. Once you accept it, you will no longer fear it.

[gothic_rose]

I appreciate u both getting in touch with me. Im sorry for not thanking you sooner, this forum can sometimes trigger my HA so I dont log on too much!

my dad is recovering well. he is attending a cardiac rehab centre and his blood pressure and cholesterol levels are good.

he is experiencing stent stretching pain which is bothering him. and has been since the day he had the stents put in. the drs are nt worried bout the pain so he tries not too.
he will be having a stress test in a few weeks to check his heart is coping with raised exercise levels but there is no reason to suspect angina at the moment.

I have seen another dr about my costochondritis and he said my dad having a heart attack at 65 does not indicate family history or raise my chances of having one. if he was under 55 then yes but 65 is apparently not an age of concern for this to be a risk factor. he said when I hit 40 in a few years to have my cholesterol levels checked out but not much point at my age now unless Im having angina.

dads cholesterol was high due to the smoking apparently as his diet is actually very good although when he was a child and much younger man it was pretty bad. but smoking not only damages the arteries but lowers your good cholesterol levels allowing the bad cholesterol to remain behind. so the reason for this happening makes a bit more sense now.

i know theres not much point to this post but just wanted to say thanks for the replies. I hope you both doing well.