So, I'm fairly new to this forum and have only made a couple posts so far, but I am very impressed by all the great advice and support offered.
Okay, so first a little background: I have suffered from OCD much of my adult life. It mainly manifests as hypochondria, usually an obsession with a specific disease or health problem that I find myself constantly checking for or convinced that I have.
Things got pretty bad when I was around 23 and the following year, when I was 24, I underwent a formal psychological evaluation and was diagnosed with OCD.
It's been three years and I'm 27 now and since that time I've come a long way. I take medication and have learned to deal with things a lot better. I rarely have episodes now, usually only once or twice a year, and I'm usually able to resist the urge to perform compulsions fairly well and allow myself to let the thoughts come and go.
However, as of late, I've been dealing with a particularly persistent obsession with melanoma. It all started a few months ago when I read an article dealing with awareness; soon afterward, the wedding photographer of a friend suddenly died of melanoma in the midst of wedding plans, aged only 35.
Up until then, I had reassured myself with statistics: I have no personal or family history of skin cancer, 95% of melanoma cases were in adults over 40 and at my age the chances of me getting melanoma were less than 1 in 20,000 (incidentally, lower than being murdered). Still, this event really triggered my fears.
Now, I am lucky to have a great doctor, who understands my issues with hypochondria and is very patient with me. She suggested that I start getting annual skin exams in order to ease my mind.
Deciding to be proactive, I scheduled an appointment with a dermatologist and went in for my first skin exam. The doctor was very informative and had a great bedside manner (though she did sort of scare me when she noted that while melanoma was rare in my age group, she did see cases in her line of work). She performed a full body exam and melanoma screening.
She told me to come back in six months for a follow up, since it was my first appointment, and after that seeing her once a year for a check up would be standard practice. As far as my skin went, she said that she didn't see anything that looked suspicious in her opinion, but as always, to check my skin in a self-exam once a month, as recommended by the American Cancer Association.
Now, a normal person would be relieved by this, but me being me, I found myself obsessing more. It's been six weeks since my appointment and I've been checking my skin obsessively once or twice a week, closely examining everything. Every mole now looks suspicious to me or as if it could have slight changes.
I know that it's all probably cognitive distortion on my part, but the real problem is this: How can I be checking my skin monthly as per ACA guidelines if I'm unable to effectively do so without giving into obsessive compulsive behavior? I really don't feel that I'm a reliable observer, as I'm constantly perceiving slight changes, flaws, etc. by over analyzing and checking again and again.
What should I do? Should I avoid the temptation to self-check my moles as it has now become a compulsion? Is just waiting until my next appointment in five months and relying on my doctor's opinion instead of my own the best option? Is it safe for me to be doing that in this situation?
I need advice.
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