reassurance needed

[bethw112]

shw11, It takes alot to come onto a public forum and open up about an issue, regardless of what it entails, you have my upmost respect!

Now, from what ive gathered, its seems this thought is stuck.. and i agree its hard to take something like this away.

Hes your brother, your fine to handle him! Its what happens in familys! You were just making sure he wasnt in danger, a total big sister reaction in my opinion.

I can assure you that your behaviour is completely normal. You were drunk and you cant remember what actually happened. Im pretty sure if something did happen he would of told you so.. I think maybe this has alot to do with your upcoming A Levels. Stress is playing a part, your mind and body is preparing for a big issue... And im sure that your getting ready to succeed in all that is to come

You have to sit and think to yourself... is this worth getting so beat up about? You've recently turned 18, life is going to throw things towards you what will blow you away, and cause thoughts that you do not want to have, but we battle on! We stay strong and we get the positive outcome, I assure you

If you need somebody to speak to, im always a message away

TCM x

this is the sweetest post- it really does mean a lot of me to have people reply so thank you

i actually finished my a levels a few months ago- and i actually did manage to get the grades for my first choice uni! (yay)

but i sort of decided i wasn't ready for uni yet so i deferred my place until next september, so i'm sort of taking an unplanned gap year now (i'm not sure how good an idea this was as having more free time to think about things/ a lack of structure can sometimes make things worse).

so yeah, thats the situation at the moment, but i am trying my absolute hardest to be more positive, i promise!

[TheChangingMan]

this is the sweetest post- it really does mean a lot of me to have people reply so thank you

i actually finished my a levels a few months ago- and i actually did manage to get the grades for my first choice uni! (yay)

but i sort of decided i wasn't ready for uni yet so i deferred my place until next september, so i'm sort of taking an unplanned gap year now (i'm not sure how good an idea this was as having more free time to think about things/ a lack of structure can sometimes make things worse).

so yeah, thats the situation at the moment, but i am trying my absolute hardest to be more positive, i promise!

Hey thats absolutely fine! Its cool to take a year away from studies! One of my Cashiers has just taken two years away from studies due to personal issues! I told her to "Go Find Herself"

You need to lay back, relax, and re-focus, this wont take over your life hunni i assure you! Your in a good place! Keep up the good work!

I always feel when your alone it becomes a problem, i overthink alot too..

Im always a message away remember! But we can chat via this thread man its cool

TCM X (Dave lol)

---------- Post added at 22:40 ---------- Previous post was at 22:39 ----------

AND WELL DONE ON THE A LEVELS! Huge Achievement!

[bethw112]

hi everyone... you guessed it, I'm still worried over this. In December it'll be 2 whole years since the night I described in my original post. This is annoying cause I was actually starting to get my life together, lost loads of weight, started reading and excersising again, was feeling semi happy in my body (a very unfamiliar sensation for me lol) and now the guilt and fear over this incident has come back with a vengeance and I've lost all motivation to improve myself at all cause I feel so ashamed. Oh and I start uni on Saturday, so I'm moving four hours away from my family and I have to make new friends and do a degree??? How am I going to manage that??? someone please help

[beingheretherapy]

Your thoughts are not you.

Your mind is simply a tool that you can observe.

Feel free to let these thoughts pass by and not be effected by them.

Choose the thoughts that are constructive and benefit you and let the rest drift by.

Enjoy.

Wish you well.

[bethw112]

Your thoughts are not you.

Your mind is simply a tool that you can observe.

Feel free to let these thoughts pass by and not be effected by them.

Choose the thoughts that are constructive and benefit you and let the rest drift by.

Enjoy.

Wish you well.

I know I can't control what I think, it's more the action that bothers me :(

[au Lait]

You didn't harm your brother. It's the OCD part of your brain that is making you worry that you did. The worry that you hurt him has become a long term obsession. But that's all it is. You need not give those fears any more credence. Remember that OCD is also called the doubting disease. It forces us to question everything. We doubt our own thoughts and actions even when we know deep down that we haven't done anything wrong. But over time OCD can convince us that we've done terrible things, when we haven't and never would.

It's extremely common for people with OCD to worry that they've hurt someone else and don't remember doing it. That's all that's happening to you. Nothing more. You haven't hurt your brother and you never would. The only reason this keeps replaying in your mind is because of OCD. The fact that the mere thought that you could have possibly hurt your brother has had such a lasting impact on you proves that you're a good person. And good people don't randomly hurt others, even while drunk.

[bethw112]

is there any way this incident could be interpreted in a bad way (for example if the thought came before the action) or does it not matter what I wasn't thinking seeing as the action wouldn't have appeared wrong to somebody else anyway? (does that even make sense???)
I know nothing I did actually harmed him, I've managed to accept that now, but even if he was unaware of it, I'm still bothered by what the action would have said about me, had it been motivated by the thought (which is sometimes how I remember it)

[bethw112]

anyone?? sorry of for being needy, so many of you have already been so helpful, its just that I start uni tomorrow and i'm in such a state

[HOCDfighter]

I had Harm OCD, but it dissapeared 1 year ago. So you think about that tought and you feel like you want to do it? Just remember one thing, you dont want to.
The last HarmOCD i had was kicking my ex-gf father in his mouth, but i didn't, because i didn't want to.
Remember, toughts and feelings are harmless things, let them pass and maybe they will dissapear slowly!
Good luck and remember "don't care".

[bethw112]

I had Harm OCD, but it dissapeared 1 year ago. So you think about that tought and you feel like you want to do it? Just remember one thing, you dont want to.
The last HarmOCD i had was kicking my ex-gf father in his mouth, but i didn't, because i didn't want to.
Remember, toughts and feelings are harmless things, let them pass and maybe they will dissapear slowly!
Good luck and remember "don't care".

I used to struggle more with worrying I would do something bad, now I have gotten over that for the most part, it's more the fear that I already have done something, which is worse because then I can't take it back