Checking something you know is true

[claireypoo]

Hey!

I think it's worth a mention that sometimes people with OCD (especially newbies) doubt themselves over the most bizarre things.

Here's an example of what happened to me when I was 17.

When I was younger (pre diagnosis) I had a motorbike and I did *mostly* okay on it until I came to a set of traffic lights I went through every day on my way to work. "Green" I'd think "good to go" but the moment I crossed the line I'd think "Oh my LORD was it red?????" But instead of just carrying on I WOULD GO BACK AND CHECK and even though I knew flippin well that the lights would have changed by then and it was completely pointless, I'd still have to check.

Go back.

Do it properly.

Of course the same thing happened. I was on my way to work at the time. I was still in this loop until 11.40am (over 3 hours going round and round) and somehow I stopped. I think the terror got too much and my tears meant I couldn't see.

I pulled over and cried my eyes out wondering what the jeff was wrong with me. I felt like I was losing my mind. It was absolutely terrifying.

OCD is often called the "doubting disease" because you doubt your own mind.

Sometimes intrusive thoughts are so vile and distasteful they can really freak you out. Make you check again and again (though of course it doesn't help to, though you often won't realise that at the time).

A little bit of empathy for people suffering horrible new intrusive thoughts can go a long way, as can *your thoughts aren't you*

Particularly if they start "WHAT IF.... (insert horrific/vile/silly scenario)"

Hugs to all - especially to the OCD peeps struggling x




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[sdd]

Thank you so much for posting this.

I totally agree with this. This is exactly what I was trying to say in my post yesterday.

[claireypoo]

You're not alone x


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[KBC]

Thank you.. i have OCD surrounding my relationship and i take everything so serious. Like i had this what if thought that said "what if i wake up and realize i never loved him?" Which scares me so i did all the checking and ruminating, and i realized i obviously love him it's just my OCD. Freaks me out sometimes.. but I know it's the disorder