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Thread: ocd or worse?

  1. #1

    ocd or worse?

    Hi guys I've suffered with different themes of ocd in the past and managed to get out of it and start living my life again after a few months with the right hekp. Lately I have felt myself getting down again and obsessing about going insane which has lead me to what I believe may be exsistential ocd. I am having strange obsessions that really scare me like.. What if I'm the only real person, what if this life is all just made up, what if people around me are just acting, what if we are all connected and really just the same person on one level, that last one one might not make sense but all these things are freaking me out I feel trapped in my own body and keep questioning my own exsistence. I'm scared that if I believe in all these things too much I am really going to go innsane.. I'm just kind of worried that I am only in my own body I'm never going to know what it truly feels like to be anyone else because if I did I would stop questioning and know I'm not on my own. Has anyone had this kind of anxiety and how to get over it if so.. Thanks

  2. #2
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    Re: ocd or worse?

    Hiya. I have told people for quite some time that i often think that this life im living ismt real, and that im actually somewhere else in a coma, or dreaming ect. I tell myself that my imagination is good enough to think up everything that has ever happened to me, amd the things around me. I also convinced myself that de ja vu happens because , my unconcious self (in the coma or dreamimg) has actually done that thing if that makes any sense. Sometimes I freak myself out so much with it. And my friemds/family just laugh and say that it would make a great film. I have no advice for you im afraid, as dont know what to do with it myself but thought id share the similar story with you x

  3. #3

    Re: ocd or worse?

    Thankyou so much for sharing It always helps to know that people have simarlar experiences and then I go back to the 'what ifs' all over again. Its the panic and fear that comes along with it that's so bad. Seems like we are in the same boat so hopefully this phase will pass for us boh and anyone else that gets these strange thoughts and feelings x

  4. #4
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    Re: ocd or worse?

    It really does help when other people say they experience simular things, makes you feel a little safer.
    I agree that the panic amd fear that comes with it thats the worst part.
    Its amazing how the nrain works, amd what it can make you see/believe.
    I am only just starting to peice together things im experiencing, and why, its like surreal jigsaw puzzle.
    I hope you can find a way to stop these thoughts x

    ---------- Post added at 22:39 ---------- Previous post was at 22:20 ----------

    Also theres a book that was recomended to me called " overcoming derealization and feelings of unreality" ive just ordered mine from amazon, and is going to be a gift from santa haha, who funnily enough is NOT real x

  5. #5

    Re: ocd or worse?

    May I ask what is the worst kind of fear that gets your anxiety going under this topic? Mine is when I get the thought that maybe I only might be real and everything else is just in my imagination then if its true then I'm alone and will be for eternity ect, its very scary and worse when you feel like ur believing in it all..it also gets me thinking that I'm paranoid because I worry that this is how someone would think if they had a psychotic illness like schizophrenia x

    ---------- Post added at 22:41 ---------- Previous post was at 22:39 ----------

    Haha but what if he is lol! Thanks I may try that out I've read up about the derealization I think this may stem from that and be a stronger fear from it

  6. #6
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    Re: ocd or worse?

    My biggest trigger is love, sounds silly, but the people in my lofe that I lpve so much, and I panic that everyword theyve said, everything weve done, every feeling is a complete figment of Imagination, I cant stand it. Sometimes I lay on the floor just so I feel a bit more grounded, because sometimes I feel a bit like im on the take off bit on a plane amd just need to hold on. And would ypu say that being alone was a big fear of yours? X

  7. #7

    Re: ocd or worse?

    Yes I've experienced that also. Like when I'm talking to my mum, I'm just thinking is that me making it all up what she said which is horrible. She knows what I'm going through and I hugged her and started crying and in a wierd sort of way it helped, because just hugging her made me feel more connected to her and more grounded I didn't feel so much like it was just me facing it all on my own. I suppose I do have abit of a fear of being alone especially when I get depressed it depends sometimes I love my own company and thinking a lot doesn't bother me and then at other times it comforts me to know that there are others around and I need them to help distract me from my thoughts x

  8. #8
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    Re: ocd or worse?

    Yeah I know what you mean with the hugging.
    I really like my own company too, I love reading, but ive stopped reading fiction as I was scared it was making me worse, by reading all this stuff that wasnt real, also stopped watching the twisted movies that I love so much (especially final destination amd the truman show) because I didnt want them to add to it. If that even makes sense?
    I only asked about if being alone was a big fear of yours because mine is losing the people I love, so makes semse that our anxiois minds makes those fears feel like a reality. X

  9. #9
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    Re: ocd or worse?

    Hi, the obsession where you think you're the only real person in the world actually has a name - it's called solipsism. I went through exactly the same thing 10 years ago when I was 19. It really scared me at the time, but it's actually more common than you think, it's just that people don't talk about it.

    It's not schizophrenia, it's a form of general anxiety disorder. If you search this forum for posts about solipsism, you'll find out more about it, including some of my own posts about the subject. Have you ever been diagnosed with anxiety by a doctor?
    __________________

  10. #10

    Re: ocd or worse?

    Oh god I've seen the truman show and that plays on my mind a lot now I'm going through this! Makes me feel like I actually am being watched its scary. And yeah I also find myself choosing not to watch certain films or read certain books because I worry it may trigger things off more. I think that's all part of the avoidance bit that we do in ocd. For example when I had bad harm thoughts I could not watch any horror movies for fear I would act upon something I may see in the film or it would put more obsessive thoughts in my head and I actually love a good horror movie when I am feeling my normal self, so it just goes to show how much this illness or obsessiveness really affects us. I don't so much worry now about losing loved ones but I did when I was in my middle teens. I would worry and obsess all the time that they would die, if I would be babysitting for my younger sister and mum went out I would panic terrible something would happen to her and if she didn't answer her phone I would assume the worst. I still get it now from time to time. I think we all worry to a certain extent of losing our family especially if you are very close and feel lots of love towards them the ocd in our mind has a great way of making you worry about losing them x

    ---------- Post added at 23:21 ---------- Previous post was at 23:14 ----------

    Thankyou sparkle, I will have a look..I'm just scared because I know that whatever is written down I always doubt that and I have something worse but I suppose that's what happens. Yes about three years ago I was put on antidepressants and took a psychotic to relieve the racing thoughts. I also saw a mental health nurse who talked to me about obsessive thoughts/ocd and helped treat me for that. So now I think its all come back again but not the same topic as before. I have had a bit of a wild year where I have drank a lot, abused some drugs and came off pills because I thought I was better, big mistake, it has brought my anxiety back now I have stopped all the wreckless behaviour.I seen my gp earlier and has prescribed me sertraline which he said is better for my anxiety problems and told me he thinks its depression, we get strange thoughts like this when we are low x

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