Im freaking out!

[jen2503]

Ok, im on my monthly so my hormones are playing havoc with my anxiety.

I know i need a new eye prescription so i shouldnt be panicking about my eyesight. im short sighted and have been since i was 13 so i know that the vision in my left eye has got weaker and so i just need stronger glasses. the flaoters arent even bothering me as much now. my anxiety is now focusing on the fact that things seem a little blurred (not too much) in my left eye and i know its just cos i need stronger glasses and i know eyes can get weaker after giving birth so i shouldnt be worried. but i am!

i feel weak and stupid because im worried but i dont even really know what im worried about. i dont think im going blind because i know im not so what am i worried about?! to make it worse i keep looking at bright white shiny kitchen wall tiles and obviously looking at them with 20/20 vision would still look bright or odd so why do i keep doing it and thinking about my left eye when i know im being stupid?

i also have a lot of glare in my glasses, i need new ones really cos theyre very scratched and smudged and no amount of cleaning them helps really so probably alot of the problem is because of that. last time i went to the optition he joked that its no wonder i cant see well because my last glasses were a mess so i know its probably mainly that and im not longer panicking about losing my sight because i know its quite rare for someone to just 'lose' sight especially at my age (26) and the thing is, I CAN STILL SEE EVERYTHING! it just somethings at a distance or for reading are a little worse than they were. so why am i panicking and what am i panicking about????????

i want the panic to go away. but because of my hormonal state im finding it hard to fight off!

i dont want to go mad! judt when i get over one anxious monet or day or few days, i feel so happy and relaxed and sane and then it comes back and it piddles me off!! i dont want it. i dont need anxiety, it doea not need to play any part in my life. i didnt ask for it, therefore it should bog off and leave me alone! and what i hate most is that i know its only anxiety but theres this voice/feeling that says 'what if its not anxiety, what if somethings wrong'. and normally i can fight it but today i cant. i keep closing my right eye to check the vision in my left and its not changing which i dont expect it to but its as though i am expecting it to change and i dont know why. its like when you have an ulcer in your mouth you keep poking it with your tongue to check its still there and its annoying me!

im going insane. i wish there was a magic pill called anxiety go away or something. id take it in a heartbeat but i dont want to take pills for months on end when i know i can beat it myself, because i can and i will!

i will. i swear i will. i dont want it therefore im getting rid of it! i hope.

(sorry ive rambled again!!!)

[mary3]

wish i could offer some amazing advice but if i could i wouldnt be on here myself, i just had to reply to your post because you sound exactly the same as me!! I know that there is nothing wrong with me physically but as soon as i get a 'symptom' i home in on it and cant stop thinking about it despite knowing that theres nothing wrong. It is soooooooooooooooooooooo frustrating!!!!!!!

Have you just had a baby? i had my daughter 8 months ago and just starting to think my horomones might be going back to normal, maybe!!

[jen2503]

Hi, yes i had my youngest daughter nine months ago. my anxiety started the day after she was born! my monthly still isnt back to normal and my hormones i think play a big part in my anxiety. my husband can judge me now on when im going to be anxious because its always tied in with my monthly hormones! i am hoping once it calms down my anxiety will too. i have had 3 children now and i was warned by the modwives that the 3rd can be very hard on you emotionally so i was expecting to be tearing or stroppy but not anxious!

its just a pain. its always something different. next week it will something else but this week its eyesight and i know tomorrow if i feel vetter i will laugh at myself for being daft yet that doesnt help me right now because something inside me doesnt want to beleive that im being daft, it wants to believe its something terrible!

it doesnt help that i can see the reflection of my own eyeballs in my glasses at certain angles!!! i need new ones.

[jen2503]

Part of me feels like i need to force myself to panic about something else just so i stop panicking about this!

i hate having weak moments. i dont like losing control which i think is why i get angry with myself for panicking about things.

[mary3]

im sure hormones play a massive part in the problem, i started taking the pill after i had my daughter and then when i kept forgetting to take it i decided to come off it. Big mistake i completly relapsed into toe worst anxiety i had had on 6 years, 5 months later i feel back to normal, normal being constantly midly anxious rather than panic attack anxious!

I read an older post of your and im not suprised that you are feeling so anxious with what you have been through and then having a baby at the same time. A dr told me once that women get anxious after giving birth as they worry how the baby would stay alive if they were to die, i guess its the caveman/animal instinct that we have kept.

Can you get booked into get your glasses changed? tesco are doing good offers at the moment with free eyetests and then 2 for 1 glasses (i dont work there so im not plugging it that way!!). I know exacty what you mean though, i worry myself sick over something like the other day it was flashing lights, and now that it has gone im not worried at all. My constant worry is my heart but i worry like mad about everything else.
Hope you feel better soon x