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Thread: Is anyone else anxious ALL of the time?

  1. #1
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    Is anyone else anxious ALL of the time?

    Hi all,

    This is an outpouring of everything I've been thinking today... I'm sorry if it brings anyone down... I need to get this out of me somehow... it is pretty dark and bleak but its the truth of how I feel right now and therefore needs expression.

    As I'm writing this a part of myself is shouting at me; "stop questioning all the time, you have anxiety, just let it happen, stop being afraid, and it will pass!"

    But I am really struggling again this week with the CONSTANT nature of my mental state of mind. Since waking up feeling anxious nearly 4 months ago, there has not been 1 second of 1 day when I have not had an "awareness" of my anxious / low mood. It is like something snapped and won't heal itself. I manage to sleep about 6 hours a night, and in sleep comes my only relief. I awake and immediately the thoughts and the anxiety comes, and that is it for the rest of the day. I try to just let it come, I try to think positively. Nothing works. Some hours are a little better than others, but it is always there. It dominates everything. It has taken away all of my joy in life, and I have a lot to be joyful for.

    This is what hurts the most - the fact that my life is good and that I cannot see where this has come from. I have all these great things in my life and they are all out of my reach because of my state of mind. It is like seeing a beautiful diamond and every time you reach out to grab it, it moves a few inches away from you.

    My symptoms have been distressing (entirely of the head variety - pressure in the head, full ears, prickly sensations on the brain). Last week I thought I had conquered them. They are back with a vengeance. It seems that most people get a variety of different symptoms, many around the heart and other parts of the body. Why do mine all feel like they are actually located inside my brain?

    The other weird thing is that I just don't get panic attacks. Everyone else seems to get them. In the past I have had times when my anxiety has massively increased, but it wasn't really panic. I don't get the racing heart, sweats, palpitations. Why don't I get panic attacks but everyone else does? This site is called nomorepanic - I feel like I don't belong here...

    Also, I'm not afraid of doing anything. I can go on planes, be on my own, drive my car, be around loads of people. Nothing seems to make me any less or any more comfortable in my head. There is no circumstance where I feel any better or any worse. Can you understand from that statement why I am questioning all this? I just don't seem to fit any "anxiety profile" - I don't seem to be like the rest of you.

    I am trying so hard and doing so many things - psychotherapy, healthy eating, exercise 3 times a week, deep relaxation every single night, hypnosis CDs, supplements, books, challenging my negative thoughts, letting the anxiety and low mood come and trying not to judge it. I get up every day and I come to work. I come home in the evening and I try to engage properly with my wife and in my home life, but this wall is there - of this feeling in my head. It's like living in a nightmare.

    I come on here to read people's messages probably too much, and I am afraid that I may now simply have become obsessed. Every thought, every action, even when I am distracted, is still shrouded with this "awareness" of anxiety - like seeing everything through a filter. The world and everything in it seems a little darker and a little more distant. I try to come back to the world but it won't come.

    I have a great life. A good job, a caring, loving wife, enough money, good friends, good health. And then one day something snapped and every ounce of joy that I had was removed and my mind turned on me. I am really struggling today to see this as a beginning of a better way of being. I can only see it today as something unexplainable having broken in my brain, and that I must somehow (but how?) learn to feel like this for the rest of my life.

    really sorry, but that had to come out somewhere,

    Gareth

    *** I think, therefore I'm anxious ***

  2. #2
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    Hi Gareth,

    are you on any medication, i know a lot of people on here dont like to take it, but sometimes it just gives your brain time to relax, and help you find your feet, many time over the years i have suffered anxiety and panics and could never put it down to one thing, and i think maybe i tried to analyse things to much,

    i have been fine now for about 6months with the odd bad day but i tell myself its just a bad day im doing fine and i will be ok tmrw, i still rely on this site for help and encouragement, it has helped me so much, just knowing that your understood and having someone to talk to about things is a great help,

    i do hope things pick up for you soon, i know how hard it is when you have that black cloud hanging over
    take care x

    kairen x

  3. #3
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    hi Gareth,

    There are quite a few people who suffer from anxiety but don't actually have panic attacks. In many cases, these poeple did have panic attacks at one time but have learnt how to deal with them and therefore no longer have them. So, in a way, you are very lucky because you seem to have skipped the worst bit!!

    I once felt like you do. I spent 100% of my time feeling anxious and just couldn't shake these feelings off. However, it will get better after a while though it doesn't seem like that now. All you can do is try your best to keep calm and just tell yourself that it's just anxiety and it can't hurt you..

    Sarah

    "Life is too important to take seriously" Corky Siegal

  4. #4
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    Hi Gareth,

    I'm like you to. I seem to live with a low anxiety most of the time and some days it does heighten.

    Like you I don't seem to have any real trigger I can do most things also.

    You do belong here though don't think that. we are here to help.

    I think the thing you can do which might help you is to try and accept the anxiety not fight it and not think about it so much.

    I try to do this as if you make to much of an issue out of the anxiety it feeds it more and you feel worse.

    I know its hard and I still have anxious thoughts everyday for no real reason. I just try to push them away distract myself and try to move on. If it comes back again I tell myself ok so your back but tough i'm going to ignore you. Try to give it no real importance and the symptoms might ease for you.

    I hope you feel better soon.

    Take care,

    Love PIP'S X X

  5. #5
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    Hi Gareth,

    Anxiety and panic affects everyone very differently and how we react and make sense of these symptoms and feelings will also differ from person to person. One thing is for sure though, panic and anxiety does happen for no reason... although on the surface everything in your life seems to be fine but there will be something lurking deep down in your subconscious... Maybe you have been worrying about something, has your job been stressing you our but you havent realised... there are so many reasons for panic attacks and anxiety to start.

    I do understand how you feel about the head symptoms as i suffer alot of these types of symptoms too along with the panic, palpitations, chest pains etc. I am assuming you have spoken to your GP about your symptoms? I have had lots of different head symptoms over the last few years and I too have worried that I have soemthing wrong with my brain but I have had a MRI scan and its normal and I still get lots of weird symptoms. There is nothing wrong with your brain other than anxiety/stress causing lots of weird symptoms.

    As I said before anxiety presents itself in so many different ways but none of which are life threatening or doing any other damage other than preventing you having the calm and relaxed life you want or once had. I too agree that the hardest thing to conquer with anxiety is losing your fear of the symptoms and ACCEPTANCE of your anxiety. Somedays like you, I can stop myself worrying about the symptoms and have a fairly 'normal' day, then others I feel consumed by worry/fear of my symptoms and worry if I will live another day. I have suffered this for nearly 5 years and I am still here and lot better than I was when my panic attacks started.

    Try and relax and not worry and always remeber we are here and know how you are feeling.

    Take care



    sadie

  6. #6
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    Hello Gareth,

    I have felt this way too in the past - always anxious, but not neccessarily having panick attacks as such. I do know how frustrating it can be, at the time i felt like i was obsessed, as you have said too.

    I guess i just wanted you to know that you are not alone, and that, with time, it will get better.

    Hang in there
    Donna x

  7. #7
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    You can undo this Gareth. Just takes time and a lot of patience.

    Relaxation is an important part of it in my eyes, especially since you seem to be suffering from this constantly. Your anxiety levels are obviously very high and you need to rectify this. It helps to give your body time to relax.

    If you're in such an anxious state all the time, then your body never fully relaxes, so you need to give it a little encouragement to let it do this.

    It is a struggle, and if anything, anxiety is a pain in the a***! Just be patient, let it be, and don't get yourself more tense by worrying about how tense you are. There's loads of good info on here, and equppied with that alongside the willingness to practice the advice you'll receive here, you will get better.


    mico

  8. #8
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    Gareth,

    Sorry that you're having a really rough time this week ..I know thats it does feel so utterly desperate sometimes

    **But I am really struggling again this week with the CONSTANT nature of my mental state of mind**

    This is very usual that it is all consuming and takes ages to even see a chink of light.

    **I have all these great things in my life and they are all out of my reach because of my state of mind**

    The reality is that they are all within reach but because of how you're feeling , you are finding it too difficult to appreciate them in the present tense.

    **Last week I thought I had conquered them. They are back with a vengeance** Its excellent and very encouraging to read this so it hasn't been constant every minute for 4 months -last week you had a bit of a reprieve and are having a blip this week. Even if you have seen just a chink know that it is there and wil return and be a bigger one this time.
    You may still have an awareness but it not being so overwhelming is the key

    Have you ever achieved freedom from your thoughts
    Strategies for coping
    I just give up!
    worried to get better!?!?
    home truths





    Meg
    www.anxietymanagementltd.com

    Watch your thoughts, they become your words...
    Watch your words, they become your actions... Watch your actions, they become your habits... Watch your habits, they become your character... Watch your character, it becomes your destiny...

  9. #9
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    Gareth

    Sorry you are having a bad time of things at the moment.

    You say
    <b id="quote">quote:</b id="quote"><table border="0" id="quote"><tr id="quote"><td class="quote" id="quote">The other weird thing is that I just don't get panic attacks. Everyone else seems to get them. In the past I have had times when my anxiety has massively increased, but it wasn't really panic. I don't get the racing heart, sweats, palpitations. Why don't I get panic attacks but everyone else does? This site is called nomorepanic - I feel like I don't belong here...</td id="quote"></tr id="quote"></table id="quote">
    I am pleased that you don't get them as well cos they are horrid. However anxiety is just as bad - I haven't had a panic attack this year as far as I can remember - I just get very anxious.

    You are more than welcome here as is everyone. You can suffer from anything atall but if you can relate to anyone else in here then you belong. Please stick around and don't leave us now ok?

    Hope you are feeling just a bit better now.


    Nicola

    "Nearly all happiness comes into our lives through doors we don't even remember leaving open"

  10. #10
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    Thanks so much everyone. It's really great to know you're all here for when I have a horrendous day like yesterday. I'm just starting to realise just how much that this site (if used correctly) is a life saver.

    As I said its the constancy without any chinks of light that has been getting to me. But you've all reminded me that I have managed to make the physical symptoms recede for just over a week, so there is nothing to say that I won't be able to do the same again.

    Next time I do so I will be able to work harder on the thoughts, and put the worst of this anxiety to bed for even longer. I am still committed to beating this thing and will carry on working hard. I have an enormous reservoir of strength somewhere inside of me, which constantly surprises me, but in darker moments it is harder to see it.

    I am better today than I was yesterday, and knowing that there are people out there who have felt like me and managed to feel better is a real boost.

    Thanks again,
    Gareth

    *** I think, therefore I'm anxious ***

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