Suiside thoughts entering my head.

[Homer47]

Hi i feel really low that i,m experiencing suicidal thoughts. Not that i honestly would act on. I feel really guilty for having them also. The trigger started on Friday. All because i got invited to a mates birthday yearly drinks outing. I had a bad anxiety episode on one of these yrs ago. All because of banter and i seemed to think it was a personal attack on me. I no my anxiety would not of helped whilst in receiving banter as paranoia and taking things personal. Other times i would of been ok and gave it back. And for me to tell them that i can’t go because of money worries (excuse avoidance) but i have money worries that’s plaguing me also. My head is spinning we’re i can tell i just want to be in my own and sleep. I txt my mate regarding why i ain’t going because of money worries now i feel week and stupid for telling him that. Thanks if you read this.

[Buster70]

I know how you feel I've made up excuses so many times to get out of social events , it makes you feel so pathetic, If you had a broken leg no problem but a broken mind isn't a good excuse , it's a shame we can't just be honest , its usually just the anticipation of going thats then probelm not the actual event but if you feel you definitely can't go try not to beat yourself up too much the shitty feeling soon passes and you find something else to worry about . Lots of us get the suicidal thoughts but it doesn't mean we will act upon them .
Take care .

[Homer47]

Thanks for the reply ��. I just feel week for txting my mate my money worries.

[Buster70]

Good old male pride nothing quite like it for making us feel shite , I'm getting to a stage now where a lot of my old mates have drink and drug problems that make me look normal ( that's the ones that are still alive ) so I think most would understand if you said the truth they might have already guessed , just do what's best for you .

[Homer47]

Thanks buster. I no it’s just the magical mind reading that kills me and to feel vunrable to banter. I no in a day when taking the muck and receiving banter didn’t bother me. (Mick)

---------- Post added at 21:31 ---------- Previous post was at 21:30 ----------

Thanks buster. I no it’s just the magical mind reading that kills me and to feel vunrable to banter. I no in a day when taking the muck and receiving banter didn’t bother me. (Mick)