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Old 25-09-05, 12:36
ANXIETY26 ANXIETY26 is offline
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People who dont understand

At the moment I'm back living with my Mother, younger Brother and older Sister (Nightmare situation). Im suffering with Agoraphobia at the minute. I dont know what the problem is with my sister, but she keeps giving me snidey little remarks everyday. I never say a word to her, but she always puts me down. I borrowed her some money over a week ago to pay her credit card bill, she said I would have it back three days later. The day came to pay the money back, I asked her for it and she said that she did'nt have it at the moment. (she could afford to go out shopping and clubbing that day though). I said that was ok I'll have it tomorrow. Five days later and I asked her for it again because I had no money, she said she did'nt have it and that I'd have to borrow it from my mother. Then came the snidey remark under her breath, you dont go anywhere anyway, what do you need it for?? along with, what are you going to do, buy another book. I have recently bought a book on Agoraphobia. I just dont understand her, she's nearly 30, I would have thought that she would be acting more mature than she is!! I have no problems from my younger Brother. Can any women answer this ??
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Old 25-09-05, 13:03
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trac67 trac67 is offline
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Hi Anxiety,
I dont think it is to do with your sister being female, it sounds more to do with her lack of knowledge about agraphobia and how it affects people. Have you tried talking to her about it, or getting her to read up on the subject, it may help her to be a bit more understanding of your situation. Hope this helps.
Take care
Trac xx

its "just a thought"
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Old 25-09-05, 13:07
mum2four mum2four is offline
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People often say thing like that when thay dont understand and with family special sisster's a brother's other feeling play apart too.

Do you say anything back to her. I'm get the fight reaction a lot when people do thing's like that but you may not have that reaction. If you can talk to her you should and if she wont listen you should talk your mum comments like that will do little to help and a lot to hinder.

Lending money to family/friends is a lesson i learned the hard way but no matter what you have the right to be spocken to in nice way speacialy by your family. Stand up a say something to her even if you have to write letter to say it to her.

I hope you feel better soon.
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Old 25-09-05, 14:01
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Karen Karen is offline
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Hi Anxiety26

People who have never experience these problems often find it difficult to understand what it is like. They don't have any idea of the effect it can have on your life.

Perhaps you could try explaining, or like Trac said, show her some information about agoraphobia and panic for her to read through.


It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere.
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Old 25-09-05, 14:07
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Meg Meg is offline
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Sounds like she is simply taking advantage of your difficult situation at present.

Be it lack of understanding, lack of compassion and sympathy or pure selfishness on her part.


Your anxiety is the human representation of the pictures that you paint using your many vivid colours of revolving and reoccurring thoughts.
How big is your gallery ?

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Old 25-09-05, 16:31
desperate desperate is offline
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Too be honest 2 years ago I wouldn't have got you either.

I don't think it is till you know what it really feels like and that fact that you can't just 'pull up your socks'.

So try and educate her, give her something to read or something?

First Anxiety...then panic attacks...now GAD and depression
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Old 25-09-05, 16:34
seh1980 seh1980 is offline
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Try to make her understand. Maybe she could have a look around the site??

"If life were simple, word would have got around"
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Old 25-09-05, 16:59
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alexis alexis is offline
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Hi what about giving her the book to read that you have just bought?

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Old 25-09-05, 17:27
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eeyorelover eeyorelover is offline
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Hi there
I have a sister that has the same attitude. Thank God I don't live with her!
If your sister was living there before you moved in and now you are there and are having a hard time then maybe that would explain why she is acting the way she is. I think that there is always a little sibling rivelry between sisters - even when they are grown and supposed to be mature. You know that "look at me, ain't I great" thing. I am definitely not excusing her actions but I think that is what's going on with her. Isn't it ironic how the people that we love the most can also say the things that they know will cause us the most pain.


If the world didn't suck... we'd all fall off
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Old 25-09-05, 22:24
mum2four mum2four is offline
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My family had the most efect negatively on my axniety and deprestion. It was not untill i finaly stood up as SAID " Back and dont say any thing unless you have something nice to say " (basicly) that thay layed off of me a little. I now avoid deal with my family in small dose's just to stay avoid having them say something that will start the whole thing again. Thay and 'friend's' ad also people were the reason I shut my self of from the world and fell in to depression twice.

When I hear of people getting treated bad in anyway that is unnessary and damaging I try my hardest to get that person to stand up for them self. The best thind you could eva do for you self and your family is to communicate with them anyway that feel's comfortable to you. It sounds like you have good family for the most part with missguided way's of interacting with you.

I'm finaly getting a perty good relationship with my going but i have lernt not to give her any power of me I'm waiting for the day that I can fialy say to my mum"I stuff up on .........???" with out her going off with an attude of I told you so's and I'm not fixing your life attude. I just what her to talk to me I never asked her to fix me or my mistake's. She is slowly getting there. My sister is very much the same as my mum and yet my sister is only 1y and week older than me. Living with my sister was the biggest mistake I eva made for both of us. You really have you talk to each other and keep comunication wide open is some way.

Good luck.

And feel better soon.
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