I feel like anxiety and depression is taking over my life

[Lauren2321]

Hi all

I am new to this site and have never been on anything like this before.
I'm 27 and have suffered from anxiety and depression for around 11 years. About a year ago I had a really bad turn which resulted in me being off work for 7 months and then losing my job. Eventually I started to feel slightly better around August and started a new job, sadly this only last a few weeks as I couldn't cope. I went back to the doctors and had my medication increased, I have tried various medications and acupuncture this year which I didn't feel helped. I tried counselling around 6 years ago but didn't feel like that helped either. Anyway with the support of my partner I decided to start college and do something that I really want to do and focus on that, everything was going great and I finally felt like my life was on the right track, but recently I've had the dread creeping in again which has resulted in me not going to my course. I feel like I can't leave the house, I feel down and worried and sick. I just don't know what to do anymore. I don't feel like my doctor is very helpful (I've seen various fez) I feel like this is it for me now, I'm never going to feel 'normal' again. I also have a 5 year old daughter who is my world, and feel like I am going to drag her down with me because I know she can sense that something is wrong.
Sorry for waffling on, I just don't know what to do or where to turn

Lauren

[Sleepy]

Hello Lauren,
I read your post and just had to respond out of sympathy.

I know the feelings you are describing very well, but they didn't really kick in for me until later in life. You are so young, the same age as my children in fact, and I really feel for you.

My experience with GPs has been mixed, but generally I feel that they don't have the time or the in-depth knowledge to deal with problems like ours. Have you tried medication? Again this is hit and miss, and it is a big decision to decide whether to commit to it or not. I was desperate when I first went to the doctor's nearly twenty years ago, but my GP didn't hesitate in putting me on Seroxat and the relief was tremendous. It worked for me, and I pretty much didn't even think about my illness for years. Then I decided to come off it, and that was hell. I know ADs get a lot of bad press, Seroxat especially, and I'm not recommending it at all, but if you can find the right drug for you, then it may well help.

I also see you've tried counselling, which didn't work for you. I haven't been down that route, but my son has. He has OCD, and was in a really bad way. He found a local therapist, and tells me that she was a lifesaver. He still struggles now and then, but is generally much happier and more stable. I think he was just lucky to find the right person. He has told me to see her; perhaps I will.

I understand how hopeless you feel. I'm lucky enough not to have to work now and my children have grown up, but you are early on in your journey. Maybe you could try CBT, try to find a therapist that suits you. Maybe you could try some short-term medication (sorry if you have already).

This isn't it for you. Things can be better, it's just a case of finding something that works for you, and the process is exhausting and frustrating, especially when you're not feeling well.

Good luck x

[Croydonbee]

I fully empathise with you, Lauren. I have suffered for six months. Having counselling, CBT, medication and go to a therapy group. These all help as I don’t feel under pressure. But going to work etc is very hard when you feel so lousy, depressed, nervy and the anxiety has got its tentacles in the brain.
I bought a book which is v good - Depression through CBT for dummies.
I also have two older kids and the guilt I feel is terrible. Luckily everyone understands and supports me, but it still eats away a me and when it’s bad, I just want to sleep all day ( a classic avoidance mechanism), but when it’s so bad, I really can’t do anything.
Have you send-referred?
There is help out there, and we’re all here to help you on this site.
Things will get better. It takes time and it’s never a straightforward journey. When I feel well, I’m perfectly ok, but then the anxiety can suddenly take over, then depression.
Take care and see if there any therapy groups out there in your area (I’m not sure where you are).
The condition is common so you’re not alone and it’s nothing to feel ashamed of or embarrassed by.