Oooh, my first thread. Well, except not really because I did a wee introduction thread, but y'know.

I have... not been too well lately. I basically joined this forum a few weeks back because I had just been through a horrible period of anxiety which led me to spend a lot of time at the computer and this community seemed like (and is ) a very helpful place for a lot of people.

Lately, I've basically had a lot of health worries. About a month and a half ago, I went to my doctor because I was extremely anxious. I couldn't sleep or eat because of the anxiety and I was having persistant daily panic attacks. She prescribed me Propranolol (40mg twice daily) and told me to increase my dose of Venlafaxine from 75mg to 150mg daily. She also took blood, the results of which showed low cortisone levels. It turned out that this ended up being a contaminated sample, but I was rushed into a hospital appointment and I had an ACTH stimulation test done. Which was completely normal. I was sent home with a diagnosis of "just anxiety". I ended up in A&E a few days later with persistant chest pain, and a chest x-ray, blood test and ECG later, I was told that they had arrived at a diagnosis of exclusion - "just anxiety".

Now, I don't actually have any physical symptoms of any severity, so I'm inclined to accept that diagnosis. And I was getting much better (going out on my own and making plans, etc), though I was feeling drugged and zoned out thanks to the increased Venlafaxine/the beta blocker. I discussed things with my doctor and she said to reduce the Venlafaxine back to 75mg daily. Which I did, and I continued to improve. Until last week. Last week the anxiety suddenly started again and it hit me hard. I've been confined to my flat since last Thursday and I've been extremely emotional since. Bad panic attacks and several tearful episodes daily have occured and it was in desperation I turned back to the Venlafaxine yesterday, increasing my dose again to 150mg.

Now, having done so, I really do feel less anxious and less depressed, but I've traded depression for feeling... strange. I feel slow and drugged and almost as unmotivated, though less tearful and able to cope. I do consider this an improvement, but it's not a nice feeling and it plays into one of my worst fears: that I'm going to go mad. I recognise ... rationally that I'm not going to go mad, but I worry about it a LOT when I feel as zombie-like as I do right now. I was wondering if anyone else has any experience with these kinds of feelings? I would say that right now my anxiety is under control (thanks to the drugs), but I'm still fighting depression (of a sort - I don't have feelings of worthlessness but nothing gives me any pleasure and I am "emotional" to say the least).

Sorry for the rambling. x

---------- Post added at 23:52 ---------- Previous post was at 23:49 ----------

Oh, I forgot to mention that I had a similar experience around this time last year, but it felt a lot more like depression and not what I feel right now. Probably because I had something I could actually rationally ascribe my depression to - a relationship break up. I got thought it without an increase in medication, incidentally.