Sensitivity to places, can anyone relate?

[James88]

Hi everyone,

I’m new to the forum, but have suffered with anxiety and depression from ever since I can remember. I’ve been on and off SSRI’s for years with small improvements but since my children were born I’ve finally decided to actually do something about it and try to be the best person I can be, so here I am!!

I should also mention that I’m an alcoholic/drug addict in recovery (Nearly 4 years sober, yay!!) Anyway, I’m looking for anyone that can relate to this and just want to know that I’m not alone, I have a number of issues that i’ll be posting up over time, for me it’s just knowing that someone else can relate that really takes the edge off it for me and I can’t find anything about this issue anywhere.

So here goes, ever since I can remember, I’ve always been really sensitive to places, specially unfamiliar ones. Obviously it’s a fairly common trait of anxiety, getting anxious in new places and feeling homesick etc, which i obviously have, but it seems to go a lot deeper. Say if I have to go to a new place for whatever reason, it’s like that place gets strongly burned into my mind.
To the point that when I get home and am back in my comfort zone, my home doesn’t feel like my home anymore. It feels like a dark and gloomy place, and wherever I look, I just see the place I’ve just got back from and the overwhelming sense of dread that I had while I was there. Everything just seems different and not right. It takes until hours later or even into the next day until I start feeling like my home is a normal, familiar place again!! Even though it’s my home and I’ve been there for years!!

Another example with places would be, if I’m having a day when my depression is particularly bad, I get random dark and gloomy depressing places popping into my head that make me feel worse, some of them I can’t even remember going to!! And if I’m having a day where my depression has lifted a bit, i will get nice and familiar places popping into my head that make me feel even better, like my parents back garden in the summer when I was a child etc.

I just don’t get it at all, it’s like my mind attaches a certain place for every situation I’m in or whatever I’m doing. Like you know when you read a book and you imagine a place you know to suit the descriptions in it? Well I get that for EVERYTHING. Even topics or things that don’t even need a place attatching to them. It drives me mad and brings me down all the time. Some days my home doesn’t even feel like my home even if i haven’t been anywhere that day, it all just seems bad, dark, unfamiliar. No matter how hard I try i can’t shake it off. Feeling like I’m trapped in an unfamiliar place even when I’m in a place I know better than anywhere.

Please tell me somebody relates to this!?!?

Thank you all in advance,

James.

[James88]

Thanks for your reply mate, I can relate to that also. I’ve been reading up about it a lot lately and I’ve seen that the brain associates thoughts with places. My theory is that my brain attatches an emotion I was feeling in a place I’ve been and remembers that forever. So if I’m feeling down, I will get memories of places that I’ve been when I was feeling that specific way and so on etc. And my fear of new places is spending the last 10 years mainly at home in my comfort zone. I need to start breaking out of my comfort zone more if I’m going to make any progress in that area. The emotions/places memories are something I’m just going to have to accept. I’m obviously just VERY sensitive to my own states of mind.

[Gillcm]

We moved to Italy, and I didnt expect to have the very severe culture shock I got. The look of the town like an American one freaked me so utterly I had to get down behind the front seats of the car so I couldnt see it.