Panic over other people actions

[gunsnroses]

To cut a long story short. My family member is landlord to my friend. My friend has been having wild parties and recently caused a disturbance and vandalism. The landlord has now handed two weeks notice and asked tenant to leave. I have so much guilt and panic and worry. where is my friend going to go? will everyone hate my family member?

Does anyone have any advice on how to no feel anxiety and panic for other peoples actions and choices?

I had to leave work today after doing so well in my career, this is the first panic attack for a few years and I cant believe this has happened again whilst I am only trying to better myself.

[MyNameIsTerry]

The first thing that springs to mind is that you are worrying about the actions of others, not yourself. They willingly caused a situation or accidently. None of this reflects on you and I'm sure you relative, the landlord, is annoyed by them and not you.

This probably points to what a lot of us anxious people do - worry about others more than ourselves. We put our feelings aside and overthink about others.

Some may dislike your family member because of this but then they need to look towards themselves because the landlord isn't expected to put up with this and neither are the neighbours.

I guess it may cause some tension initially with friends if they are unwilling to accept their part in this? If they make negative remarks about your family member then you can either fight their corner through trying to reason with your friend, ignore what they say or ask them not to speak like that around you. Hopefully they will be reasonable about this as time passes by.

I would also try to prevent yourself overthinking this. You can't control it, let it just pass and see what happens. Try to keep going with your life with an attitude of acceptance that if something did happen, which is not guaranteed, it can all be resolved in one way or another.

And your family member may not be bothered about you remaining friends, they will leave it to you and have to accept you make your own judgements and remaining friends doesn't have to mean you don't think a friend was in the wrong.

[gunsnroses]

Hi there,

These words have been a great help to me and have made my thinking more rational.

Each time I panic, I can revert back to this advice and I thank you for them.

Claire