How to manage depression/anxiety and stop it affecting my relationship

[Pumpkin117]

Hi,

I am new to this forum. I am desperate to get some advice on how to deal with my depression, loneliness and increasing anxiety about my life in general and my relationship.
My depression has come and gone over the years, but it has got worse when going through my parents' divorce, a break up, or just generally feeling lonely. I have always craved a lot of alone time, so much so that I ended up choosing a job working from home by myself, and now I hate being alone so much because it makes my depression so much worse.
It is affecting my relationship because I am too dependent on my partner, and I feel like I am pushing her away. We don't live together, she herself also has problems with anxiety and often needs space, and I get insecure and feel like she is pushing me away. Yes, it's a vicious circle.
I just want to be able to handle being along while I am in this situation where I have to spend so much time alone. I don't have a lot of friends in the city I live in but I really can't face going out to meet new people right now. I just spend so much time alone at home crying. If anyone has any helpful advice I would be grateful.

[welsh girl]

I am so sorry you feel so lonely, it as a horrible thing to endure,
I would have advised joining something,but you seem to want quietness,
Are in any way slightly religious? I am nervous asking that but I know that perhaps going to a service which is quiet might get you to know like people.
I have been now and again and found people extremely friendly in a quiet way, would it be worth a try?