I have suffered with anxiety for the past 6 years!
For the last i'd say 6 months or so i was getting so much better. I stopped worrying 'what if' and it freed up my life to do so much more! Okay so I still found it a challange to do normal everyday things but not as much of a challange because i wouldn't contsantly think what if I have a panic attack.
Thn two months ago I had a lot of stress going on with my family so my anxiety came back and since then i don't think there has been a single day that i have not worried. The only way i get round it is by being so totally shattered that my brain can' t function enough to worry. This is not plausable though as i cannot be that tired in uni!
I also suffer from contsant dizzyness. I have had problems with my ears which go back years! When I was about 12 I got on a plane to go on holiday and the pain I felt when we were landing was unbareable!!!! My doctor told me that some of the liquid in my inner or middle ear (can't remember which!) had gone hard which is why I felt the pain. Now though doctors are all passing it off as my anxiety saying it is just another symptom of that! Which I know it is not because I get anxiouse becaiuse I am dizzy not dizzy becauise I am anxious!
It is like doctors seem to think that just because I have anxiety I couldn't possibly ever be ill! Which is stupid. Around 2 years ago my dizzyness got really bad and I saw about 6 different doctors before one thought to look in my ear (I had an inner ear infection) the doc perscribed me anti biotics and within a few days I was fine again. That was after suffering for nearly a motnh with having to link arms with people incase i fainted and get lifts up stairs becauise my balance was soooo bad!
Anyway now that all my anxiety has come back again my doctor has put me on buspirone which, although it has stopped me panicing, it has not changed the fact that I am anxiouse and stressed!
I just don't think I can take much more worrying. It feels like I have taken so many steps backards. Now if I am going out I worry that I will have a panic attack which inevitably brings one on but I can't seem to stop myself worrying anout it. So I decided the other day that if I havew one I will deal with it, which I did. However after I delt with it I felt okay for about 5 minutes then I started to think but what if I hand't have delt with it? then what?
I just want to scream!!!! I have started university as a mature student last week and I know that has to be causing me anxiety but right now i just want it all to stop!!
Sorry I just needed to tell people who may understand. Thank you for reading
Samm
xx