Fixated on going blind, life is hopeless.

[lscmich]

Ask yourself: What evidence do I have to support my theory of going blind or getting glaucoma? Is there any?

You will say that the evidence is using your phone at night. But really that is evidence AGAINST your theory, otherwise I would be blind as would about 3 billion other people already. Weigh whatever actual factual evidence that you have to support your fear against the factual evidence that runs counter to your fear.

Now what IS true, using your phone in the dark at night isn't a great habit, it does interfere with getting good sleep a bit (I say that as I type this out...on my phone...in the dark in bed...lol) so if you have stopped doing so you can feel good about taking a good step towards better sleep which will help your health and you've taken a big step in self-control. But it does not make anyone go blind.

You wrote, "but i just feel like it’s a viscious cycle of convincing myself that if I didn’t have this habit of using my phone in the dark, i wouldn’t have to deal with this extreme anxiety,". I don't believe this is true. My experience with anxiety is that it really doesn't matter what the topic of fear is, if you didn't have the phone thing it would manifest in some other way. So don't beat yourself up over using the phone so much. You'd probably still have extreme anxiety and would be fearful of some other bogeyman. The thing to do is to treat the anxiety itself.

Sent from my Moto G (5) Plus using Tapatalk

Thank you for a long response, i really appreciate your help.
So you have this habit of using your phone in the dark before bed as well? How long have you done this for? I apologise for sounding irrational to most people but in my head I’ve convinced myself that my eyes will deteriorate really quickly once i get older. And you mentioned evidence, I really don’t have any but my brain’s telling me maybe not now, but a lot of people including myself might go blind in a decade’s time or when im in my 50s. Ridiculous right? but still scares me to sleep every night.

You’re right, it might affect my sleeping cycle more than anything else so i’ve already stopped doing that haha, but I really hope one day I can stop obessing about this or stop getting triggered so easily, it’s so hard to live in fear and to constantly worry about the unknown future. I don’t even remember how this started, I probably read something online saying that using my phone in darkness will cause irreversible damage to the eye.. anyway i wish i’ve never read that!!

I keep telling myself im wasting my life away thinking about this 24/7. I just want to live a normal life as a 21 year old again and stop beating myself up everyday. It’s so hard but im trying, thank you for your reply once again.

[ankietyjoe]

I don’t even remember how this started, I probably read something online saying that using my phone in darkness will cause irreversible damage to the eye.. anyway i wish i’ve never read that!!

And now you've read a dozen times that it doesn't.

It's now your choice whether to keep pandering to thought patterns that aren't based in reality, or to start letting it go and get on with your life.

You are creating the problem in your mind, remember that.

[lscmich]

Try and ditch the guilt. It's an emotion that mostly serves no purpose.

Your life right now is what it is, and any decision you made were made to suit what you needed at the time.

The most important thing you can do right now is accept the past, accept that you're not going to go blind because of anything you've already done, and try and live in the moment. Take things one minute at a time, and use mindfulness to enjoy that one minute you're currently in.

Thank you so much for this reply, it really helped me to calm down a bit.
Im starting to tell myself no amount of guilt or self-hatred can change what i chose to do in the past. Although it’s really hard to live one day at a time and stop obsessing over the future and the past, I am really trying. I don’t want to waste my life away like this!

---------- Post added at 10:35 ---------- Previous post was at 10:29 ----------

And now you've read a dozen times that it doesn't.

It's now your choice whether to keep pandering to thought patterns that aren't based in reality, or to start letting it go and get on with your life.

You are creating the problem in your mind, remember that.

You are probably right, it’s the imagenery scenes in my head that’s making me insane. The more i think about it, the more convinced that those things will come true on day.. and that it starts all over again like a viscious cycle.

I really hope I can stop thinking about it, it sucks to see all my peers having the time of thier lives while Im falling into depression because of severe HA.

---------- Post added at 11:46 ---------- Previous post was at 10:35 ----------

I remembered how this HA started - a few years back I came across this article saying that over exposure to the light emitted from smartphones will increase the risk of Macular Degeneration which is the no1 cause of blindness. Since I used to play games on my phone in the dark, the damage should be high. I went downhill from there basically, lost all my apetitie and motivation to function as im anticipating that to happen to me. Pathetic isnt it

[Fishmanpa]

You are probably right...

Joe is 100% right! I'll reiterate and stand by my replies about real life professional help as the best course of action moving forward. You've had multiple replies stating fact and still, your fear persists.

Positive thoughts

[KK77]

a few years back I came across this article saying that over exposure to the light emitted from smartphones will increase the risk of Macular Degeneration which is the no1 cause of blindness. Since I used to play games on my phone in the dark, the damage should be high. I went downhill from there basically, lost all my apetitie and motivation to function as im anticipating that to happen to me. Pathetic isnt it

MD just doesn't work like that, but your HA is too powerful to be won over by facts and logic alone.

I would concur with Fish in that "real-life" therapeutic intervention is needed before it is too late.

[lscmich]

MD just doesn't work like that, but your HA is too powerful to be won over by facts and logic alone.

I would concur with Fish in that "real-life" therapeutic intervention is needed before it is too late.

I really would want to get real life help but I don’t know how to bring this up with my parents they will think i’m crazy and imagining things... and I will feel way worse. The emotions that are affecting me the most is probably guilt and worrying nonstop, i can’t help it my brain won’t stop thinking about this. I hope I can find a way out of this one day... or else I won’t be able to move on :(

[Fishmanpa]

I really would want to get real life help but I don’t know how to bring this up with my parents they will think i’m crazy and imagining things... and I will feel way worse. The emotions that are affecting me the most is probably guilt and worrying nonstop, i can’t help it my brain won’t stop thinking about this. I hope I can find a way out of this one day... or else I won’t be able to move on :(

My daughter suffers from anxiety and depression. She came to me at 18 (she's 25 now) and told me what was going on. I, along with her mother made sure she got help. She's on medication and continues to go to therapy. It would be sad to think your parents would react in the way you described. Perhaps speaking with them and showing them your thread and the responses would help.

One thing is certain, while the forum is great in knowing you're not alone and it's cathartic to write out your fears, other than the FREE CBT offered, here, we can't truly help you as you would in real life.

When factual evidence is overwhelmed by irrational thoughts, it's difficult if not impossible to relieve your fears and worry.

Good luck and as always...

Positive thoughts

[ankietyjoe]

I really would want to get real life help but I don’t know how to bring this up with my parents they will think i’m crazy and imagining things... and I will feel way worse. The emotions that are affecting me the most is probably guilt and worrying nonstop, i can’t help it my brain won’t stop thinking about this. I hope I can find a way out of this one day... or else I won’t be able to move on :(

Dude, you're 21, not 12.

Go and get it sorted yourself.

[lscmich]

When factual evidence is overwhelmed by irrational thoughts, it's difficult if not impossible to relieve your fears and worry.

Good luck and as always...

Positive thoughts

Thank you for your support. Everyone is telling me my thoughts are irrational but i think the hardest part is allowing my brain to accept it. It is very difficult even seems impossible as the thoughts are over-riding every single cell in my body... its just too overwhelming for me. But thank you I shall take the courage to talk to my parents soon, i cant live like this any longer.

[caroline-j]

Hi Iscmich. Just want to start by saying that I'm sorry to read about the anxiety you have about going blind. I understand how hard it must be for you to rid this thought. Anxiety has a habit of taking over. I don't know whether this will help you but my son of 29 struggles daily with his sight. He was born with a genetic eye disorder Dominant Optic Atrophy. He was registered partially sighted at the age of three and later on at the age of ten he was registered blind. I am so proud of him as he works has his own home that he shares with his wife and two children. He works for an Insurance company where they adapt his computer for him. What I'm trying to say is how ever hard it must be for u to rid this thought please try and enjoy your life. Your sight is a precious gift. Don't waste it. Enjoy. Wishing you all the very best.