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Thread: Diary of a Citalopram starter

  1. #1

    Diary of a Citalopram starter

    Hi everyone - I'm a 26 year old female from Australia who suffers from GAD and depression. 8 weeks ago I started to have head pressure and depersonalization and was diagnosed with mono and anxiety. I decided not to go back on medication and to try get through it. It got to the point where I couldn't function properly so I felt like I had to go back on medication. I went through the same thing in Feb this year and was put onto Paxil. It was a nightmare to go on. I've been on Citalopram before for depression and didn't have any side effects so the doctors decided to give it a try.

    It's now day 19 and I wanted to share with you my journey as I spend so much time searching to see other peoples experiences. I hope this can help someone in need!

    Days 1-2 I took 10mg. I threw up a few hours after taking each tablet so not sure if they were obsorbded correctly. I think the throwing up was due to my high levels of anxiety.

    Day 3 - I decided to bite the bullet and take 20mg. This day was hell. I woke up crying and with anxiety. I layed in bed for a few hours and my mum (who is my support person) made me get up shower. I had dizziness, blurred vision, head pressure, depersonalization, couldn't eat, nausea.

    Day 4-11 - All of the above. I lost about 6kg from not eating. Sleeping is an issue. I go to bed at 9 and wake up by 12. Usually I drift back to sleep for a few minutes waking up until about 4. By 4 the anxiety is full on. I lay in bed shaking and trying to vomit. I take my tablet at 6 in the morning with a dry biscuit in bed. My mum usually comes into my room at 7 to try calm me down. She makes me get up and shower. She usually try's to get me out once a day by going to the shops but the whole time I am depressed, uninterested and the dizziness/head pressure makes me feel like I'm not even there? I have niggling anxiety all day, like it wants to attack at my weakest moment.

    Night of day 11 (Christmas Eve) my partner of 9 years decided to go out with his friends. We have had a bad relationship for 9 years and I just couldn't take the pain and not being supported anymore.

    Day 12 (Christmas Day) - Woke up again with extreme anxiety, crying etc. I didn't enjoy Christmas at all. I packed my partners things and told him it was over.

    Day 13-17 - I feel lonely and depressed. Morning still consist of the same bad anxiety, can't get out of bed etc. I spend so much time worrying that I will never feel better and about being alone. My parents love in another town and are going home in 1 week. Mums been with me since I started this and is my rock, I'm scared what's going to happen being alone.

    Night sweats started on Day 17. I sleep with aircon at 18 degrees and still sweat.

    Day 18 - Same morning business but worse because my ex partner contacted me causing a fight. I had the full on anxiety attack. My mum rang my best friend to come take me out. We went shopping where again the head pressure and weird head feelings make me feel like I'm not even there, it's scary. I had a 80 min massage and the lady said she had never felt tension like mine. It hurt so bad but I felt good after. I laughed today.

    Day 19 - so last night I went to bed at 9:30 and slept until about 12. Then on and off until 4. At 6 I felt nausea but had my dry biscuit and tablet. I wake up every day dreading the day and can't wait for 9 comes so I can fall asleep and not feel anything. Tonight is New Year's Eve and my friends want me to go I dinner with them. I'm anxious and nervous.

    When I was on paxil I was feeling much better by now. I'm not sure if it's just going to take longer this time but I feel like giving up. I'm still suffering from mono and with the break up in feel like everything is just too much at the moment. I pray every night that when I wake up I will feel like my old self, but hope is fading.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jul 2013
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    392

    Re: Diary of a Citalopram starter

    Most people will tell you it takes 6 weeks or so before citalopram starts to 'kick in', but in my experience if a medication isn't have SOME positive benefit after 2 weeks or so then it is perhaps not the right one.

    You sound like you are really suffering from a mixture of physical illness and a bit of an anxiety crisis right now. Can you go back to your doctor to discuss your progress and perhaps see if there is anything else he can offer to help.

    If paxil worked for you before then how come you are not trying that again?

  3. #3

    Re: Diary of a Citalopram starter

    Got a doctors appointment next week! The paxil made me suicidal and I had to be watched 24 hours per day, I really didn't want to go through that again.

  4. #4
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    Dec 2013
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    187

    Re: Diary of a Citalopram starter


    wouldn't worry too much about it at the moment
    It really does take a month to 6 weeks to kick in
    Personally my day 21-15 were hell for me
    The first 3 weeks actually were not bad
    but I started to gradually recover after that
    and if it doesn't go back to your GP then

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jul 2013
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    392

    Re: Diary of a Citalopram starter

    Quote Originally Posted by Sedaw1 View Post
    Got a doctors appointment next week! The paxil made me suicidal and I had to be watched 24 hours per day, I really didn't want to go through that again.
    They may tell you to stick with it for a bit longer but given that sleep is an issue I wonder if you might ask them about medications that can help you sleep: for example Mirtazapine.

  6. #6
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    Nov 2013
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    Re: Diary of a Citalopram starter

    Quote Originally Posted by yenool View Post
    Most people will tell you it takes 6 weeks or so before citalopram starts to 'kick in', but in my experience if a medication isn't have SOME positive benefit after 2 weeks or so then it is perhaps not the right one.
    I started on Citalopram almost two months ago & for the first 5/6 weeks was on 20mg which did hardly anything for me except make me tired.

    The week before Xmas my doctor suggested increasing the dose to 40mg before trying something else & surprisingly I started to feel improvements within 24 hours. I don't know if I will gradually see further benefits, but currently my depression/anxiety is still there, just curiously distant somehow & the negative inner voice stays silent most of the time.

    Not sure if I would be better on something else as I do still feel tired quite a lot of the time, but if 20mg has no positive benefit, then it might be worth trying a higher dose before switching to something else entirely.

  7. #7

    Re: Diary of a Citalopram starter

    Day 20 - this morning anxiety is the worst. When I wake up my body feels so heavy and panic/anxiety is already there. It's like I have no control over it.

    Does/did anyone else experience this? When did it go away?

    It makes me so upset every morning I wake up and feel like this.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Posts
    213

    Re: Diary of a Citalopram starter

    Hi Sedaw, I am the same as you, every morning I feel awful, as soon as I wake up, which is usually about 4am it is there and I just have to lie there so as not to wake up everyone else and the dogs, I am now 16 day on 20mg, was 3 weeks on 10mg before that, it takes several hours for me to feel almost right and by the evening I forget there is anything wrong with me but next morning there it is again.

  9. #9

    Re: Diary of a Citalopram starter

    It's terrible isn't it? So scary and just makes you feel so feel like things are never going to get brtter. I hope it lifts for us both soon.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Posts
    213

    Re: Diary of a Citalopram starter

    Yes it is terrible, the worst part of the day, I havve heard others say the same so hopefully it will go for us soon.

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