Hullo my fellow allergy-phobes!! I'm soooo glad to find you all!! Although I wouldn't wish it on anyone, it's so good to see I'm not alone!! I've been suffering with this for probably 2 years now, with varying levels of intesity.. Now I'm focussed on getting better though...
This is my first post ever, so apologies in advance for any rambling...
My first anxiety attack was from the belief that I was going into anaphylaxis from something that was on a coat-hanger i put in my mouth (I put it in to hold it whilst I hung something on it... not some wierd fetish thing! lol).. Anyway, whatever it was that was on it burnt my tongue and tasted BAD, and then my mind started racing and I started to think I was going into anaphylactic shock - long story short - went to the hospital, found nothing wrong, went there again next day with similar things, nothing wrong... aah! *insert light bulb* panic...
Because it all started with the anaphlaxis fear though, it's almost like Post Traumatic Stress... the vast majority of my panic attacks have been related to food/allergy fear. For a long time I only ate vegemite scrolls, vegemite toast etc, then slowly (very slowly!) introduced "Safe" foods (single ingredient foods, Steak, steak + salad/veg, etc). Then I progressed to 'unsafe' foods, i.e. curries etc. I would have one bite then wait 30 minutes before eating the meal. Hell? Yes, but I slowly progressed... THEN a few psych's and putting another coat-hanger in my mouth later, I've started to get better... I find though, whenever I stop "pushing" myself to eat unsafe foods, I regress pretty quickly. For this reason I have a list of foods I'm trying to stick to that I have to eat at least weekly - nuts being number one (this is a recent hurrah for me, as I avoided them for aaages - I've never even had a remote nut allergy, I grew up on peanut butter!) And this biggest hurrah only happened by going to the local markets (another challenge for me, having food made outside of my control) and buying 'gado gado' with peanut sauce (so not just plain old peanuts), then eating it in the emergency carpark lol It still cracks me up... I drove in, parked, then sat and ate my food in the car, listened to the radio for 15 minutes (i've shortened my 'waiting' period down to 15mins), then hung about the campus for a little while longer till the discomfort subsided... Hopefully people just thought i was waiting for someone!
I'm the same as you amiee, prior to this I was always the adventurous one always trying new foods etc, now nada. I get bitten by a fricking ant and nearly have a meltdown on the spot swearing I can't breathe!! Bites are one thing I haven't conditioned myself to yet (how do I do this??! Just get bitten constantly by random bugs etc???) *sigh* it really gets me down sometimes... Although I've come a long way, i still have SOOOooOOoooOo far to go.. I'm yet to undertake the biggest leap of faith and actually put my unclean fingers in my mouth... I haven't done that in well over 12 months!!!
Oh, and the best one yet - just so that maybe I can make you feel a bit better about your predicament - my friends and family get a bit of a giggle out of it anyway (although it's a nice compassionate giggle) - One of the foods still high-up on my list of unsafe foods I won't eat? Fish. Pre-panic I ate fish ALL the time, but now? Nothing... The funniest part about this though and the thing that makes it COMPLETELY irrational?? I won't eat fish for fear of swelling up and being unable to breathe, yet every morning I take a fish oil capsule!! So no, I won't actually EAT fish, but I'll quite happily gulp down a capsule of pure, condensed extract-of-fish.. gargh!! totally illogical...
I have sooo much more to say, but I'm trying not to write tooo much of an essay!! It's so great to know you're all out there though! I think the hardest thing is thinking you're alone and a complete freak... btw this is a form of hypochondria it seems (hypo, not hyper... apparently there's a big difference?).. I've also had a squillion tests because of the anxiety stuff in the early days - asthma testing, a mirriad(?) of blood tests for all sorts of wierd and wondeful things, ECG + ultrasound + halter monitor for my heart (palpitations!), and the worst? An ear nose and throat check due to a 'lump in the throat' feeling (which I've later learnt is called 'globulus hystericus' - GREAT name...) in which they shoved a camera down my nose to check out my throat!!! I swear, that is one way to cure a fear of having a lump in your throat - i NEVER want one of those again, when I get that feeling now, it's almost instantly dismissed!! lol