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Thread: Feeling awful after being told off at work.

  1. #1

    Feeling awful after being told off at work.

    So I started a new job this Tuesday and today (Friday) there was a bit of an incident. I had to wait for some things to download for me to work on, so I stepped out for a cigarette, not knowing that office policy was that you can't leave the building outside of allotted breaks without permission. I probably should have checked first, but it didn't seem like a big deal as I was just outside the door. So as I was coming back in I passed my supervisor, who didn't say anything, but as I walked back inside I looked over my shoulder and saw he was looking at me. I immediately thought "Oh no, I've done something wrong!". So I went back to work, and a few minutes later my supervisor called over the guy who is training me and spoke to him for a minute. About half an hour after that I got called into my supervisor's office. He told me calmly that I wasn't allowed to be outside outside of breaks. I told him the truth about why I was out there and apologised that I didn't know those were the rules and I wouldn't do it again. He was good about it and everything and said he'd let me off this once, but added that if it was his boss who'd seen me I'd have been fired. Anyway, he said he would leave the matter at that and I went back to work. He didn't yell or anything and actually thanked me for being honest. However, the rest of the shift I felt really anxious, uncomfortable and kinda shook up. I accept it was my fault and needed to be told not to do that again, but I just have this weird complex about being "told off", I hate it, it really shakes me up, even if it's just a little slap on the wrist. I got really hung up thinking the guy was mad at me or something. I went back to his office at the end of the shift to apologise again and explain that I wasn't "sneaking out" or anything, I just didn't know that rule and said again I wouldn't do it again. He shook my hand and said all is forgotten, but all day I haven't been able to get it out of my head. Is it normal to respond this badly to being disciplined or told you've done something wrong? I guess I just have a complex about pleasing everyone.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Posts
    4,375

    Re: Feeling awful after being told off at work.

    Hi there,

    You haven't done anything wrong - you just didn't know the rules being new to the job. Your supervisor was fair and when he says it's forgotten, it is.

    I also have a tendency to dwell on this kind of thing because I want to do a good job so it's perfectly natural to feel like you do. Try not to worry though, everything's fine, you handled it very well by being honest and now you know not to do it again.

    As your supervisor's forgotten it, so can you.

    Pip
    __________________
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  3. #3
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Posts
    165

    Re: Feeling awful after being told off at work.

    Hi,

    you did the right thing explaining the situation and did well. It can be a minefield in a new job, not knowing you have done the wrong thing until you've done it.

    I know all too well about dwelling on these things, but you should be proud of yourself for effectively handling it so well.

    Any manager/supervisor worth their salt will understand the situation and realise your contribution and commitment.

    Have a good relaxing weekend, soon this will be something down the line, forgotten about.

    Lilac

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Posts
    751

    Re: Feeling awful after being told off at work.

    I think anyone would be upset at getting told off on their second day. But with anxiety we do tend to dwell on anything negative like this.

    You handled it well though, and they seem to be more worried about stopping you getting into trouble than cross with you. They say it's forgotten from their point of view. I hope you can forget about it too.

    Congratulations on the new job, and I hope next week goes more smoothly.

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